True Blood Season 7 Premiere, ‘Jesus Gonna Be Here’


It’s the beginning of the end forTrue Blood.’ I actually have high hopes for this last season, and the opener promises at least 2 or 3 good story lines.

When we last left off, the tiny town of Bon Temps was about to be attacked by a horde of Hep V infected vamps. Eric was gone, and possibly dead, while his frenemy Bill had become a best-selling author and Sookie was now hooking up with Alcide. Things can only be peaceful for about a week before things get crazy again, and that they did. Though this time, it wasn’t all Sookie’s fault.


Sookie: So, she’s still kind of stupid. After the massacre at Bellefleur’s, formerly Merlotte’s, she hears everyone, including her boyfriend, blaming her for everything that has happened to their town. So she leaves and walks through the woods, at night, by herself. She literally stumbles over a head body, which was hilarious and sad. Last season she admitted to being a “danger whore,” but even if she hadn’t started a relationship with Bill, the vampires would have been all over Bon Temps anyways. They wouldn’t even have to glamour some of the idiots that live there. Tara might be dead, her death occurred off screen, and Lettie Mae thinks it’s Sookie’s fault. At a church service, Sookie says that they all need to move on stick together, and that she just wants to help. She still has enough of her powers left to stop a few vamps, but it’s going to take more than that.

Jason: When Sookie’s brother isn’t testing the limits of his brain, he’s having sex. His ultra aggressive girlfriend Violet, the one he met in the vampire jail last season, won’t give him room to be a man, or a sheriff. She chases off some of the townsfolk who are out looking for a missing man. After Jason tells her that she left him with his dick hanging out, they finally do something she had been putting off for some time. They have sex. Kind of violent sex right on the hood of his patrol car. I figure this will be all we get from Jason again. If this show were as good as it really could be, it would have given Jason some time to reflect on why he always hooks up with these awful women.

Sam: After he sold his bar, Sam ran for Mayor and won. He introduced the “Vampire Protection Plan,” as it were, but it got off to a really bad start. He runs off to save Nicole after a vamp kidnaps her. When they return, his mayoral opponent Vince spies him returning back to his human form. He threatens to tell everyone that he’s a dog, but a dog for a Mayor is the least of their problems, and Sam’s.

Lafayette: Though his cousin might be dead, for real, Laffy doesn’t feel anything but relief. His vampire guardian James, Jessica’s boyfriend, brings him home and the two share some stories over a bong. James recounts the turmoil of the Vietnam war, and why that turned him in a pacifist. I can see a good friendship brewing between these two. Lord knows Laffy needs a friend that won’t try to kill him.


Jessica: Trying to make things right with Andy, Jessica offers to protect him and his remaining daughter Adilyn. When he gets news that Arlene, Nicole and Holly have been kidnapped, he leaves and tells Adilyn not to invite Jess into their house. Adilyn is reluctant to trust Jessica, she did kill her sisters and almost killed her, but she’s curious about why vampires are so attracted to her. One of the Hep V infected vampires makes his way on the property, but Jessica keeps him away from the house. Just as the sun is about to come up, Adilyn invites Jessica in. She almost bites her, but then retreats upstairs as the vampire outside burns in the daylight. Obviously Andy isn’t going to like them getting closer, but it could be the only way Adilyn survives.

andy bill

Andy and Bill: Definitely wasn’t expecting these two to be BFFs. Patroling for vampire nests, they come across a warehouse where some had been living. There they find some bodies, and Vince and some of his gang. Just as they are about to kill Bill, Andy stops them from making a mistake. Him and Bill have always been at odds, but Bill seemed surprised that he let him live. Of course, if they’re going to find the girls, he’s going to need Bill to help track them down. Unfortunately, they’re locked in a basement all the way over in Shreveport, and it looked like they were going to be picked off one by one, and there was only four of them left.


Pam: While searching for her maker Eric in North Africa, Pam plays a little Russian Roulette in what was the most annoying philosophical conversation I have ever seen. After seven season, it sounds like Kristen Bauer Van Straten is losing her accent. Then again, Pam hadn’t eaten, she even passed up feeding on a healthy little girl. She finally gets a map to his supposed whereabouts, but how hard is it to find a tall, white, blond guy in Marrakech?


I didn’t have a slight sense of dread going into this season, so I do hope it ends on a bloody good note. James is being played by Nathan Parsons this season, and for the most part it’s an upgrade. I don’t want Tara to be dead, but she does deserve a break from these people. It sucks that she didn’t get a proper death, though one thing that could point to her still being alive is that Pam didn’t seem to get any indication that she was in trouble. So, do you think Tara is really gone? Do you prefer James 2.0 to the first dude? Let us know!

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