Given the serious and depressing news of the past couple of weeks, I think it’s okay to take in a bit of fluffy “news.” Sanrio‘s most famous character was just revealed to be human. Because, what now? That’s right, Hello Kittyis actually a young British girl and NOT a mouthless feline. As if being a cat with no mouth wasn’t weird enough.
Anthropologist Christine R. Yano told the Los Angeles Timesthat when she was preparing her written texts for the Japanese American National Museums’ upcoming exhibit on the character, Sanrio firmly corrected her when it came to Hello Kitty’s er…species.
“That’s one correction Sanrio made for my script for the show. Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty,” Yano said.
Not only that, but Hello Kitty has an astrological sign, Scorpio, a twin sister named Mimmy and their parents are named George and Mary White. It’s weird to think that a character who will be celebrating a 40th anniversary this year has such an extensive background that most people don’t know about. This is one of those “the story never mentioned that Humpty Dumpty was an egg“ type things because Sanrio has never said she was a cat, but look at her! Look the ears, Maury! What elementary school aged girl has whiskers?
Still, Hello Kitty is as popular as ever, there will be a Helly Kitty Conat the end of next month in LA. Her image appears on thousands of products, from toilet paper to yogurt. and she even had her own cartoon. Yano suggests that her success is attributed to her simplicity.
“People see the possibility of a range of expressions. You can give her a guitar, you can put her on stage, you can portray her as is. That blankness gives her an appeal to so many types of people.”
In UGH News of the Night, Ben Affleck is our new Batman y’all. Well, other people’s Batman, because I just can’t get behind this. The Hollywood Reporterconfirmed on Thursday that Affleck was chosen to star alongside Henry Cavill in the Superman and Batman mash-up movie, which will be out on July 17, 2015. The sequel to ‘Man of Steel’ will also be directed by Zach Snyder, so expect more destruction and gritty angst.
“Ben provides an interesting counter-balance to Henry’s Superman,” said Snyder in a statement. “He has the acting chops to create a layered portrayal of a man who is older and wiser than Clark Kent and bears the scars of a seasoned crime fighter, but retain the charm that the world sees in billionaire Bruce Wayne. I can’t wait to work with him.”
I don’t even know where to begin….charm? Acting chops? Ben is an all right director — I can give him that, but does no one at Warner Bros. remember ‘Daredevil’ because I do, and I wish I didn’t.
Snark aside, I had no interest in this, as I had no interest in ‘Man of Steel,’ but you guys could have given me something to be excited about. Christian Bale‘s “batvoice” was ridiculous, but can you imagine Affleck’s caped crusader trying to take down bad guys with that Bah-sten accent of his? “Pahk ya car in Arkham Asylum!”
Lindsay Lohan appeared in the news again on Thursday, when reports surfaced that a couture dress she borrowed for amFAR’s New York event a few weeks ago was returned literally cut into pieces.
According to Lohan, the Theia gown, which was loaned to her “in good faith”, ripped accidentally so she borrowed scissors from a bouncerand chopped off the bottom half of it.
Sure, Linds… because that’s always my first plan of action upon accidentally damaging a piece of clothing that doesn’t belong to me; haphazardly hacking it into a high-low mini-dress.
Phillip Bloch, who styled the aging starlet for the event, corroborated her story and remarked that despite the incident, he would “definitely work with her again.” Also adding, “I would just lay down some ground rules and do my best to make sure it never happens again.” Yeah dude, good call. And godspeed on the rest of your styling career.
With a hemline as erratic as her personal life, let’s all just be glad that Lindsay’s clothing line never got off the ground.