Tag Archives: WINNER!

The Craziest Quotes From Charlie Sheen’s ABC 20/20 Interview

"I'm a WINNER!"

Charlie Sheen (the oldest-looking 45-year old, non-homeless dude EVER), took over Twitter today, getting almost half a million followers barely two hours after he joined. I was hoping he would live tweet this mess of an interview along with the rest of us, but there was enough craziness to go around.

During the 20/20 Special we got a look at his home life, with his two girlfriends, and his workout routine. We all won!

When asked if he was on drugs:

“I am on a drug – it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

When asked what he thought of people saying he was bipolar:

“I’m not bi-polar, I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”

What would it be like to have Charlie’s brain?:

“If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”

When does Charlie sleep when he’s not winning?:

“I don’t sleep. I wait.”

When asked if there were drugs in his house at the moment:

“We don’t need to stay clean. There are no drugs in this house.”

WTF are you talking about Charlie?

“I don’t know. All these words just sound cool together. They come from my grand wizard master.

You got a drug addict, a pothead and a pornstar. What more could a guy want?”

I don’t know Charlie, you tell us.

My personal favorite, 

“I’m proud of what I created. It was radical. I exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something they’re never going to see in their boring normal lives.”

During the interview, there were flashes back to his 2000 interview with Charlie Gibson where he seemed relatively sane and normal.  Boy, how times have changed.

Never forget.