Tag Archives: Vampires Y’all

True Blood Weekly Lowdown: Crimes

We had a week off from all of the murder and mayhem.   Never leave me hanging like that again, True Blood.

Sookie nurses Alcide’s wounds when she gets a phone call, he’s breaking up with her and to not try to find him.  Lorena looms in the background. This woman, stage 5 clinger, leave poor Bill alone. After he tells her, AGAIN, that he doesn’t love her, he punches her across the room. (I hate to say she deserves it, but she does.) Alcide tries to comfort her the best way he knows how, by telling her that, “no matter how well you think you know someone, they can still turn around and kick you in the nutsack.”

“I don’t have a nutsack”, she replies. Oh, Sookie.

Alcide’s sister Janice helps Sookie disguise herself for Debbie’s party at Lou Pine’s.  She ends up looking not unlike an X-Men character.  While reading her mind, Sookie learns that Debbie is not only marrying Coot, she’s with the werewolf clan now.  During the party, we find out that Russell is supplying the werewolves with vampire blood.  When he’s not being so fancy, he looks like the lead singer of Bauhaus. I do hate that the show is forcing Bill and Sookie apart, but as Janice said about relationships, “Feeling alive ain’t enough.” And the way Alcide says her name is even sexier than the way Bill says it.

I do feel sorry for Bill; he’s caught up in something he can’t quite figure his way out of.  While he’s feeding the hungry wolves, Russell tells Bill to grab dinner. Which comes in the form of a stripper.  They eat the poor girl in a limo, not before Bill senses that Sookie is in danger.  Franklin, working for Russell, gets as much information out of Tara as he can using Glamour and then biting her.  While he sleeps during the day, he keeps her tied to the toilet. Just like her relationship with Eggs, this will not end well.  He takes her to Russell’s mansion and let’s hope that Bill was just pretending not to care about her.

Best moment of the episode, Eric daydreaming abut floating outside of Sookie’s window and her inviting him in.  When Yvetta can’t hold your attention, you know you’re sprung.  Lafayette, still enjoying his new ride, calls Tara with what I hope HBO decides to turn into a ringtone “Ring ring hookah, ring ring!”  He tries to sell more V for Eric but gets beat in the process.  Super Eric to the rescue, he really does like flying around. While Lafayette tries to explain that even though he an’t fly, or even fight, he’s still a good pusherman, Eric gets a call from Pam telling him that Fangtasia is being raided by the Magister.  When he finally gets there, the Magister is torturing Pam who screams out that Bill is the one selling V.  And things get even more complicated for Mr. Compton.

Things are a little less crazy at Merlotte’s.  At Bud’s retirement party, Jason feels a little threatened by a football star and tells Andy that he wants to be a cop. There was little Jason this episode, but at least he wasn’t being his usual dumb self. Arlene complains (when is she not complaining?) about not having any help at the restaurant so Sam hires Jessica. While hostessing, she runs into a former Bible study friend who lets her know that her parents are still looking for her. Of course Hoyt sees them talking outside.  These two should get back together, all the other couple’s on the show are messed up.  Sam’s family is living in his parking lot, and well, him being Sam he tells them they can stay.  I don’t like these people, and they’re probably up to something.

This one left me feeling a little weird.  Tara is in trouble, again!  Sookie is in trouble, again!  Bad ass Bill won’t be leaving anytime soon because I get the feeling he’s starting to like not having to care about humans.

Of course in Bon Temps, everyone is a hookah.