Twenty-nine year old actor, Jake Gyllenhaal is reportedly in a new romance with 20-year old annoying person, Taylor Swift. The “couple” spent the weekend in New York City on various dates, having brunch and hanging out backstage at Saturday Night Live.
The two were spotted holding hands and strolling around Park Slope. No hipsters caught a picture of them with their iPhones? They also went apple picking at the Fishkills Farms in Hopewell Junction, N.Y.
Wow, I made it through two paragraphs. I won’t repeat my initial thoughts but that sounds like the lamest date ever. Of course, Taylor would like something as boring as picking apples. I bet she freaks out in the produce section at the grocery store. All of this seems sudden, and quite convenient for the both of them. Taylor is releasing a new album, Speak, while Jakey-Poo has another movie coming out soon. If this mess is true, I can’t wait to hear what sad ass song she writes about their relationship…his name rhymes perfectly with fake, heartbreak and ache.
Congrats Taylor Swift, you’re the newer, younger Jennifer Aniston!