Hallo mein amerikanischer Liebhaber! Ich bin’s DEREK!
As some of you may know I am back home in the rainy, stormy, depressing United States (specifically, Seattle) for a so-called “vacation” before I head back to Europe. For some reason or another a few days ago I spent a lavish evening at our beloved Owner/Editor of Dipped In Cream, (Eingetaucht in Creme) Diva J’s house for some much missed and needed gossip and eating.
Before we gorged ourselves on well-deserved peach cobbler Jules and I stumbled upon a treasure like no other: Mimoo on HSN hawking her over-priced wares!
If you are unaware, Mariah/Mimoo/Mimi happens to be the ever-manly yet pregnant-with-twins, Mariah Carey. What exactly is she trying to sell? For one thing, her God-awful butterfly/flower/turn your fingers green/fake/plated rings for a ridiculous price. Though there are many things wrong with the merchandise itself, I really want to dissect the entire video so you readers can really understand why I am even writing an article about it.
For starters, Mariah is sitting on the couch in her “I don’t give a f*ck I’m pregnant” form with her hooves feet slightly hovering off the ground as if the twins are ready to jump out at any god-forsaken time. Plus, she’s wearing a shirt strictly devoted to her pregnancy.
Looking beyond that, we get many up-close shots of her giant NBA hands, which are much more manly compared to her fey male co-host–who just happens to have a light sensual coat of bubble-gum pink nail polish on his girly digits. F*ck me running–this whole time I feel like there are a lot of gender-reversal roles happening. I mean, Mariah being a macho man in his nicest drag, while trying to cover up his/her broad shoulders and huge paws, while the other guy with his meek Euro-accent and soft sensual hands, reminds me of a sissy school girl.
Really all I have to say is I don’t care for Mimi. I think she’s kind of creepy for marrying that guy Nickelodeon Cannon. She pointed out the fact that her wedding ring is super-shiny compared to her tacky butterfly rings…BUT…she can’t even tell when she sees them compared on camera…right. Hi, back-pedal! Throughout the video the Euro-Trash Dude is constantly being a little ass hamster while trying to sell these butterfly rings that “Look as if they are flying away!” all the while reminding us that Mariah Carey had that one C.D. back in the 90’s that was kind of popular and her inspiration for this collection. (The one that was all about how she fled the prison of her mansion in Lon Guyland while she was married to Tommy Mattola.) They also talk about ensembles and her being pregnant a lot. Almost too much.
This clip is SUPER-funny…
So I guess I myself don’t really understand why I wrote this except to do one thing; write about how much I don’t like Mariah Carey or her fake, expensive “jurrr-reeee”.