Ah, yes. It’s that time of year again. To paraphrase John Cusack in High Fidelity, it was “Patchouli Stink” Weekend in the deep desert this past weekend. You know, where all the faux-hipster celebrities dress up like what they believe to be Woodstock hippies (with clothing from Hipsters R Us on Robertson Blvd. in L.A., doncha know). Let’s take a look and mock them together, shall we?
If someone knows what Vanessa has on her finger, please shoot me an email. I mean, I’m not completely naive, but I wanna know.
How ’bout a little music to cleanse the palate for a bit? Duran Duran covering Lady Gaga’s Pokerface. Simon LeBon is a tiny (?) bit pudge in the face, but he’s still a handsome man.
Now we have some more dirty-looking girls.
Did any of y’all go to Coachella? The only way I’d go is…ohnevermind. I wouldn’t. Too hot and dirty.
This trend really needs to shut up. It’s as if all of the celebrities are like, “You know, I’m so stinkin’ good-looking that I need to wear some ugly/ironic glasses to show everyone how I don’t take my physical beauty seriously. But I look really hot still, right??“.
Now it’s the President of The Silver Fox Club pulling this craziness. Anderson Cooper? Take those stupid hipster glasses OFF and throw them away. I’m seriously doing my patented Full-Body Eyeroll.
Let’s take a look at the other goons who have worn the Hipster Glasses in 2010, shall we?
Oh, it’s OFFICIAL. I’m an old biddy. Who are these people? My theory is that most of the hipsters who attend Bonnaroo don’t know who’s performing either–they just won’t admit it, because they’re wasted and snootier-than-thou. I’d rather go to the sweatbox known as Coachella, where I at least KNOW who’s playing, forpitysake.
Tickets: $224.50 Gen Adm / $1,349.50 VIP / Tickets will only be available at each price range while supplies last / Tickets required for children 6 & older.
And here’s your line-up to the 2010 Bonnaroo.
The Avett Brothers
The Flaming Lips with Stardeath and White Dwarfs perform “Dark Side of the Moon”
Medeski Martin and Wood
Cross Canadian Ragweed
Mayer Hawthorne & the County
Steve Martin & the Steep Canyon Rangers
She & Him
Tokyo Police Club
Zac Brown Band
Dave Matthews Band
Dave Rawlings Machine
Carolina Chocolate Drops
Damian Marley & Nas
The Black Keys
They Might Be Giants
The Entrance Band
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
Kings of Leon
The Dead Weather
Okay, so I know maybe ten to twelve of the acts. Big deal. Do y’all even KNOW how un-hygienic this festival is? I thought it was bad when I had to stand in a full inch of urine by the Honey Buckets at the KING DOME in Seattle during a 10-hour concert back in the day. (Loverboy, bitches!!) If you wanna know just how nast Bonnaroo is, go ahead. Spend the money and try it out.
Oh, and after waaaay too much research, I’ve discovered that’s not just MUD in which they are wrestling. Just so ya know.