So Starbucks thinks they can do it again. It seems like every time I turn around Starfucks is doing just that, fucking us around. There used to be a time where, despite their big company reputation and accusations that their coffee is not fair trade, or Lord forbid, tastes bitter or burnt. (It’s coffee numb-nut, but of course you are the ones ordering that ‘Mocha-frapa-cheeena-thingy’ as I once heard a woman order it at SeaTac airport).
This time, however, I don’t blame the conveyor belt line of rude, picky, 120 degrees, nonfat, no whip, 2 pump customers. No, this new ‘tactic’ lies with Starbucks bottom line and trying to shit miracles out of it’s ass.
Amid customer complaints that the Seattle-based coffee chain has diluted the beauty of coffee-making into the equivalent of the robotic process of an assembly line, Starbucks is now telling their baristas to slow their hectic pace.
This is just ridiculous. Absurd I tell ya. I mean, I understand standing in line for a cup of coffee from this coffee giant, but for them to have the nerve to think that even at one time they actually had ‘beauty’ whilst serving coffee, fat laden pastries and pedantic breakfast items, then they are just fooling themselves. I don’t go to Starbucks for the beauty of the brew. To be honest, I wanna get in and get out before someone comes up to me wanting me to try the new toffee this or the pumpkin that! Or that damn Via… seriously, you have to ask me after I have ordered my ENTIRE drink if I want to try it?? NO. There used to be a time when I would order a drip just ‘cuz they would just have to turn around and flip the spigot on that Bunn Brewing machine and I would get my cuppa joe and go. Not the case, somehow, I end up in the queue and have to wait just as long as that Mocha-frapa-cheeena lady!
Either way, according to company reports, Baristas are allowed to make no more than two drinks at a time—and they can only start on the second one while finishing the first. Baristas are also supposed to steam milk for each individual beverage instead of steaming an entire pitcher for multiple drinks. Other instructions include rinsing pitchers after each use, using only one espresso machine instead of two, and staying at the espresso bar instead of moving around.
The initial reaction to this news: Many baristas and customers, however, fear that the new instructions will just lead to longer lines.
Longer lines, bitchier people and still we will flock to these places in droves- because long are the days where the best part of waking up, was Folgers in your cup. Look for my smiling face at your local Starbucks, I’ll be the one waiting, one drink at a time, with the rest of you!