Tag Archives: Solange Knowles

Beyonce, Jay Z And Solange Release Statement


Well THAT’S boring as hell. The BeylongeZ Situation has released a statement to the Associated Press regarding the elevator slap-fight video.


“As a result of the public release of the elevator security footage from Monday, May 5th, there has been a great deal of speculation about what triggered the unfortunate incident. But the most important thing is that our family has worked through it,” an exclusive statement to The Associated Press said Thursday. “Jay and Solange each assume their share of responsibility for what has occurred. They both acknowledge their role in this private matter that has played out in the public. They both have apologized to each other and we have moved forward as a united family.”

It was reported that Jay Z took Solange “jewelry shopping” yesterday. The BeylongeZ Situation also pulled the “at the end of the day” crap…

“The reports of Solange being intoxicated or displaying erratic behavior throughout that evening are simply false. At the end of the day families have problems and we’re no different. We love each other and above all we are family. We’ve put this behind us and hope everyone else will do the same.”

At the end of the day, my ass.  This family has a thing or two to learn about families and their problems. (Don’t make me use the “99 Problems But A Bitch Ain’t One” line. It’s tired and overused. Oh, who am I kidding? I love it.) In all seriousness, though, The BeylongeZ Situation must realize that a freeze-out is in order. After the nasty words are spewed (usually without a physical attack), the parties involved merely pretend the other has been vaporized. They are now INVISIBLE. Then you come down with a migraine to avoid any contact. What’s so hard about that? Soon enough, the headache goes away and it’s as if that person never existed.

Not that I would know one goddamn thing about that kind of passive-aggressive behavior. But I swear to God, if she saysare you sure you’re gonna keep that food DOWN? at a family function one more time…because I’m NOT bulimic! I just wanted her to stop clicking her fingernails on the fucking wineglass and she says THAT to me?? Oh, HELL no.

Oh. Sorry.

So yeah. BeylongeZ Situation is being handled.

Let’s Discuss That Whole Solange, Jay Z, Beyonce Elevator Mess


Photo Source

Two days ago, I started writing about the now infamous elevator tussle (?) wherein Solange Knowles tried to kick the crap out of her brother-in-law Jay Z, while her sister, Beyonce just stood and watched it all go down, but then I just stopped writing. I couldn’t get myself into all of the what if’s and why’s.

The video, which TMZ paid upwards of $250,000 for obtained, can be viewed HERE if you somehow, on God’s Green Earth, haven’t seen the blurry footage yet.

Keep smilin', Bey.
Keep smilin’, Bey.

Families fight, we can all agree to that, yes? Personally speaking, my family members prefer the passive-aggressive freeze-out after some nasty words are spit out, so we all have our own special methods of dysfunction. The thing about Beyonce is that she’s done her level best to throw a sheen of perfection on everything she says, does, and sings about. Even her beautiful ballad, “Flaws and All” is, well, FLAWLESS.

Rumors are flying every which way as to why Solange lost her shit in the elevator.  Some say she had too much to drink, some say she was merely tipsy. Some say Jay was straight up trying to party with Rihanna while his wife was being sent home, and Solange wasn’t having any of it. The only people who truly know what was shouted in that elevator are the four people inside that closed space. (Remember, bodyguard Julian was there to hold Solange back from Jay Z.)

I have some questions, for YOU, my Dollies.

"Don't look at me! I'm hideous!" JUST KIDDING.
“Don’t look at me! I’m hideous!” JUST KIDDING.

Should there be public outrage (see Chris Brown)  that Solange attacked Jay Z in the first place? Do we applaud Jay Z for not fighting back? Who acts like this after the Met Gala? Do we just love to see a REAL Behind the Scenes clip of the Perfect Carter/Knowles Family–as opposed to the HBO version Beyonce gave us in “Life Is But A Dream”? Beyonce prides herself on being real, but that “documentary” was ridiculous. Wigs, fake baby bellies, “no make-up, I wake up looking this FLAWLESS“-pseudo perfection. I was in Full-Body Eyeroll-mode for two hours. Go look at Bey’s Instagram account. It’s PERFECT, right down to the Pepsi product placement, snuggly pics of Jay, and yes, lots of shots of li’l sister Solange. (I hear-tell Solange deleted all photos of Beyonce on HER Instagram account, though.) We’re really getting some 7th grade girl behavior hard.

Anyway. What. The. HELL, you guys? I need your help on this.