Tag Archives: Smugyth Paltrow

Happy Birthday, Chris Martin! Sing it With Me! ‘Para Para Para-Douche!’

Chris Martin is 35 today

It’s my goal to get this song stuck in your head all bloody day long because it’s stuck in MINE.  It’s Bono’s lady in waiting (and Coldplay’s) Chris Martin’s 35th birthday today, and “thank God the fishmonger DELIVERS!”  (I use that quote made my Martin’s wife, Paltrow every chance I get.)

"Oh, Chris. Seriously? Have a cleanse." - Paltrow

I have it on good authority (my Imagination, with a capital I!), that Martin’s string-vanilla-bean wife gave him this for his birthday:

The Clean Program – $425.00 – By Dr. Junger M.D.

Hey.  At least Paltrow wasn’t super-cheap with her gift! Just super-CLEAN. Ugh.

Gwyneth Paltrow to host SNL

Paltrow and Cee-Lo

Gwyneth Paltrow will host Saturday Night Live for the third time January 15, continuing her almost 13 year streak of annoying the hell out of me. Cee-Lo will serve as musical guest. The pair have been working on a collaboration, after she performed the PG-13 version of his hit “F*** You” last year on Glee. So there’s a good chance we could see them duet on on the live comedy show. Oh jeez.

They should at least put Cee-Lo in a sketch; he’s pretty funny. Jim Carrey and The Black Keys will be on hand when SNL returns form their winter break January 8th.

Gwyneth Paltrow Perfroms On The Country Music Awards

Ugh. HER.

So Gwyneth, we meet again. I didn’t watch 90% of the CMAs last night, but the small bit I did catch made me realize that awards shows are pointless and Country music stars can’t dress themselves. With the exception of Nicole Kidman, who was with her husband Keith Urban, there weren’t a lot of non musicians there. Gwyneth Paltrow took to the stage to sing “Country Strong,” the title track from her upcoming movie of the same name. She was joined by Vince Gill, and as much as it pains me to admit it, she didn’t sound too bad.

Not the first time that Gwyneth has sung for a movie, and it won’t be the last. She’ll be making her cameo appearance on the next episode of Glee, substituting for Will while he’s sick. “Country Strong” is getting a lot of great buzz, so we could possibly see her singing this again, maybe on the Oscars.

Ugh, I can’t wait!