Tag Archives: Seal

Seal Says Heidi Klum Likes to ‘Fornicate With The Help’

Heidi working out with The Bodyguard

There is no bloody way (if I have anything to do with it!) that alla y’all won’t think about that very phrase when hearing Heidi-Fornicate-With-The-Help-Klum’s name from now on.  It’s proper and poetic, really. Seal was questioned about his relationship/divorce with the model/Project Runway-snip, and gave a groove-filled remix of a years-old standard:

Seal Explains It All…

via TMZ:

“Look, boys, this is what happens when two people separate, they move on and that generally means there’s new people in their lives. I don’t expect Heidi to all of a sudden become a nun. But as always, my main priority is the emotional of our children and to be quite honest if there’s going to be somebody in their lives I’d much rather it be a familiar face. The only thing I would’ve preferred is if…um… I didn’t expect any better from him, I would’ve thought Heidi would’ve shown a little bit more class and at least waited until we separated first before deciding to fornicate with the help.”

Yikes. That is one long finger.

 

All I know is that Seal is reported to have a nasty temper, but come ON.  Y’all can’t tell me Das Klum isn’t a fiery, schreckliche Frau herself.  I’m sure that was part of the dysfunction that inclined these two to renew their wedding vows every single year. Everyyear? That should’ve been a sign right there.

In all seriousness, though.  It’s not cool to talk crap about your kids’ mom like that.  Seal will learn the hard way on that one.