Tag Archives: Scientolo-goon

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise Reach An Agreement In Divorce Already

Creepy Tom Cruise

 

Katie Holmes now has my undying respect for having beaten Tom Cruise and those creepy Scientologists at their own game–if only she could talk about it, but I realize that wouldn’t be in Suri’s best interest.  Can’t you just hear those Scientolo-loons telling Tommy Girl to “MAKE THIS GO AWAY!” ? Oh, David Miscavige.

via People.com

Holmes’s attorney Jonathan Wolfe confirmed the deal in a statement to PEOPLE:

“The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life.

“This result could not have been achieved without the hard work of my partner Gary Skoloff and our co-counsel Allan Mayefsky, Michael Mosberg and Larry Trachtenberg of Aronson Mayefsky and Sloan and Peter Walzer and Chris Melcher of Walzer & Melcher in California.

“We thank Tom’s counsel for their professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution.

Cruise’s attorney Dennis Wasser separately told PEOPLE, “All the lawyers and the parties are happy that it’s done, the deal was closed and we wish everyone well.”

Tom and Katie issued this little  fluffy statement, which sort of alludes to different “beliefs” between the couple (well, DURRRP).

Katie and Suri in NYC

“We are committed to working together as parents to accomplish what is in our daughter Suri’s best interests. We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other’s commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other’s roles as parents, says the statement from Holmes and Cruise’s reps, Nanci Ryder and Amanda Lundberg respectively.

We will never know what Katie has on Tom in order to get this dissolution matter settled so quickly…but we sure can assume and allege, can’t we?

One more thing, I am biting my tongue til it’s bloody over that photo of Katie and Stinkfoot Suri.  Lord knows any other timeI’d be all OVER the fact that Katie continues to carry that six-year old girl like a newborn baby.  In all seriousness, blood is dripping down my chin; you don’t even KNOW.  Maybe Katie’s worried about the Scientology goons (who are ALLEGEDLY following her every move) will drive up in their infamous SUVs and kidnap her daughter.  Stranger things have happened, right?  I suggest you follow The Village Voice’s in-depth stories about this horrifiying monstrosity called a “church“.

Happy Birthday Song of the Day to Tom Cruise From Katie Holmes – ‘You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet’ by Lisa Marie Presley, Former Scientologist

 

Oh, hey Tom Cruise. Happy effing 50th Birthday, you little freak.  We’re all on to you and your scary ways, and always have been…this song’s for YOU.

Oh, we all see your CLEAN left hand, Katie.

“You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet”

Lay down the law, don’t make a sound
Just critical, just going down
I don’t belong, I’ve lost the plot
Not gullible, can’t be what I’m not

You can think that I’m evil and I’m off the rails
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

If I don’t get with your system then I’m sure to fail
Well you ain’t seen nothin’ yet

Lay down the truth, don’t make a sound
Just a piece of fruit who’s hit the ground
I don’t respond, I’ve lost the plot
Unethical, not what I thought

You can think that I’m evil and I’m off the rails
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

I’m a bit transgressive and suppressive as well
Well you ain’t seen nothin’ yet

Am I a disruption to your corruption?
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

You can think that I’m evil and I’m off the rails
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

If I don’t get with your system then I’m sure to fail
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

No longer elated, now you’re frustrated
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

You can think that I’m evil and I’m off the rails
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

If I don’t get with your system then I’m sure to fail
Well you ain’t seen nothin’ yet

You can think that I’m evil and I’m off the rails
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

I’m a bit transgressive and suppressive as well
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

 

Oh, Tom.  I hope realize you’re in for the fight of your life…these women may have signed all kinds of nondisclosure agreements but soon enough, it will all come out.

Insane in the Scientolo-Cuise Brain

 

Because the trickling creepy, scary-ass info about you and your “tax loop-hole church” is steadily gaining speed.  Uh-oh…what’s that black SUV doing outside my house?

While I check out who’s parked near my yard, YOU guys read THIS article (from The Village Voice) about Lisa Marie Presley’s lyrics to her song (above).  Believe me, you’ll be enlightened–just like she is and just like Katie is (and Poor Nicole).  I want a REAL book out about this cult crap.

Tom Cruise Scared Suri With His ‘Rock of Ages’ Look

Shudder...

 

While most of us are wondering where Tom Cruise keeps the fading painting of himself, others *cough* DivaJulia *cough* have raised eyebrows/gagged at his appearance in his latest film. Who knew Suri Cruise and DivaJulia had so much in common? While promoting his new movie ‘Rock of Ages,’ Cruise told Ryan Seacrest that his youngest daughter didn’t like his Stacee Jaxx look.

“When I had the eyeliner and the painted nails, [Suri] was a little taken aback by it. She was like, ‘What’s happening to my dad?’ ” “I joke with friends because she goes to [Katie‘s] sets and there’s hair and makeup and they’re very nice,” Cruise continues. “Suri comes to my sets and she’s got to wear a hard helmet. There are explosions going off. Dad is bloody. He’s bruised.”

Didn’t think anything could scare this child. Two interesting things, to me anyway, about the movie is that it was Tom’s idea for his character to have a pet monkey. The movie’s screenwriter Justin Theroux, yes Jennifer Aniston‘s boyfriend, told Shaun Robinson of Access Hollywood that when they were developing the character they thought he should have an animal sidekick named “Hey Man.

 

Justin Theroux, if you recall,  co-starred in ‘American Psycho‘ with Christian Bale, who as you may know based his portrayal of Patrick Bateman on Cruise. Bateman’s character in the book lives in the same building as Cruise did during the late 80s.

Perfect.

It all comes full circle.