Tag Archives: Queen Bitch

Miley Cyrus In Bed With Ashton Kutcher (On ‘Two and a Half Men’)

Hey, y’all. I have titties. – M. Cyrus

Ugh.  See what I did there?  I gave you a completely lame and misleading headline.  Yaaaaawwwn.  I’m even boring myself when it comes to these two, and I tend to be my own biggest fan. (Not really. I hate everything I write.) Not really. What?

Everyone’s favorite hillbilly has landed a spot on no one’s everyone’s favorite sitcom, Two and a Half Men.  I’m cringing at these photo.  It’s just a bit too pervy.  I’m looking at you, CyrusKutcher.


via Eonline.com

Cyrus makes her Two and a Half Men debut on Thursday, Oct. 17, as Missi, Walden’s (Kutcher) friend’s daughter, who begins to make him feel old.

And while Missi spends some time with Walden in bed, she’s actually a love interest for Jake (Angus T. Jones), who returns home from the army to visit his father Alan (Jon Cryer).

Short-shorts and a bikini top. Formal-wear for the trailer park set!

So Miley plays a little gal named Missy? I think that’s close enough to the ultimate in white-trash names, Misty, don’t you?

Off I go to read all the hate-comments by chicks named Misty. Wait.  That would mean they can read.

Daaaayummm. I’m stunned by my own bitchiness.

Naomi Campbell To Find Her Own Top Model

Photo: Interview.com


Supermodel Naomi Campbell is venturing into reality competition biz with a new show called ‘The Face.’ The show is currently casting in New York and Los Angeles, with the premise sounding a lot like Tyra Banks‘  ‘America’s Next Top Model.’ A group of unknown models with compete in challenges to be the face of a major brand, to be announced later. It will air on the Oxygen network, which currently shows ANTM reruns. Campbell said in a press release,

I look forward to discovering the next great model on The Face.  I’m looking for contestants who have the whole package – a beautiful face; healthy, toned body; unique look; interesting personality; confidence; and, above all, strong work ethic and drive.  I’m seeking someone who possesses a global, worldly outlook, but can also be seen as a home-grown girl next door.  Most importantly, I’m looking for a model with a fearless spirit who can completely transform like a chameleon, and take you on a unique journey that makes you believe that even the impossible is possible.  If I find that, I’ll find a truly great model!”

Joining her on the show will be two other favorite models of mine, Coco Rocha and Karolina Kurkova, both of whom have made appearances on ANTM. I’m sensing a pattern here. Rocha took to her Twitter and blog to gush about working with Campbell and Kurkova, and her role on the show.

As the youngest mentor of the three, I have looked up to Naomi and Karolina my entire career and am ecstatic to be able to work side by side with them on this amazing new project. We, as coaches, will scout and choose our teams from aspiring young models nationwide before guiding them through assignments which include photoshoots, runway shows and commercials for some of America’s best-known brands.”

Hosting will be “Noted Fashion Photorapher” Nigel Barker, recently fired from ANTM as Tyra wanted to start the next season with a new panel. The show is scheduled to air in 2013, and needless to say I will be watching. I wonder what Naomi’s frenemy thinks about the new competition. Remember this moment from Tyra’s talk show when she confronted Naomi about her being kicked out of a Versace show?!

Solid. Bitch. GOLD.


Happy 65th Birthday Elton John – ‘Queen Bitch’ by David Bowie

Queen Bitch, indeed.

Happy Birthday, Sir Elton John. I guess.  So, you’re 65, huh?

It’s odd how most of our tastes in music or certain artists don’t last or feel as important as they once did.  Then there are the artists who took up permanent residence in our heart, mind and psyche.  Elton John is one of the artists who fell out of my favor a long time ago.  In all honesty, the only album I still adore and enjoy singing along to is Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.  I was fairly obsessed in 8th grade with the music and words of that genre-crossing album.  (Remember? Elton showed up on Soul Train to perform Bennie and the Jets!) He even pushed me along into a life-long fascination with Marilyn Monroe with Candle in the Wind — but what girl doesn’t, really?

That said, my love for Elton sort of just disappeared.  I only even think about him if I report on his adopting a baby or being a bitch.  And frankly, the bitch-reporting is tiresome. I know Madonna can more than hold her own, but Jesus, shut your beef and kidney pie-hole already, Elton.

In terms of theatrics, crossing racial and cultural boundaries, staying current, gorgeous and completely and utterly COOL  (as well as more and more likeable with age) we have, David Bowie, don’t we?

She’s so swishy in her satin and tat
In her frock coat
And in bipperty-bopperty hat
Oh God, I could do better than that

An appropriate song for a proper cranky old biddy.  Happy Birthday, Elton John, you Queen Bitch, you.