Tag Archives: Pure Nuttiness

It’s All. About. Patrick.


The Pretentious One - Patrick

As if I ever doubted the fact, it is indeed All. About. Patrick.

The third of about 28 phone calls throughout my day from my dearest friend consisted of the following conversation I was privileged to overhear between Patrick and an unknown caller on his other phone:

Patrick: Hello? Uh huh. Oh. Wow. (This sounds serious, I think to myself.)

After a 30-second pause, I’m getting worried. I’m sure the Patrick is going to say, “Wasn’t anyone HOME with Mom when she fell out of her wheelchair?” or “I never even knew he was SICK.” But no.

Patrick: Well.

(The dreaded flat tone of voice….)

Patrick: Do they have any bearclaws, then.

(NOT a question. A flat-out STATEMENT. Bearclaws???? WTF???)

Patrick: I really wanted a gotdamn apple turnover. Those IDIOTS.

Oh, Patrick.  See what I have to put up with?  I wouldn’t have it any other way, though. (Or would I?)  Naaawww.

"Guncle" Patrick and Felix...

Just look at him with Felix...but I did have to share this apple turnover nuttiness with y’all.  They adore each other. (Felix isn’t wise to Patrick’s cray-crayness yet…he’ll still love him.)