Over the weekend iconic director George Lucas and longtime girlfriend Mellody Hobson were married. The couple were wed at Skywalker Ranch (where else?) on June 22 and had another ceremony at Chicago’s Promontory Park the following week. A number of ‘Star Wars’ alumni were there, including two Luke Skywalkers, Mark Hamill and Hayden Christensen, and the voice of Yoda, Frank Oz. Other notable guests were Chicago Mayer Rahm Emanuel, ‘CBS This Morning’ anchor Gayle King and Robin Williams.
Though Lucas had chosen the music for the ceremony, (I wonder if they walked down the aisle to Darth Vader’s “The Imperial March?”), Hobson wanted some very special entertainment for the reception: Prince rocked for 90 minutes, playing hits like “1999″ and “Little Red Corvette” for the couple and crowd. There were also purple clues scattered about as to who the big guest would be. Mellody wore Nina Ricci for the Chicago reception, and Peter Soronen for her California nuptials. May the force be with them!
So, remember when you didn’t care about Avril Lavigne getting engaged to rocker, and I use that term loosely, Chad Kroger? Well, you aren’t going to care about their wedding either, but we hear that it was a lavish affair. The couple officially tied the knot on Monday in the south of France, sources confirmed to USWeekly. A little over 100 guests watched the 28-year old Lavigne exchange vows with the 38-year old Kroger in a black wedding dress designed by Monique Lhuillier. Oh of course it was black. The ceremony was held in the gothic-themed Chateau de laNapoule medieval castle near Cannes. I’m sure we were all expecting some white trash get-together with kegs tied to the back of a pickup truck, oh well. Congrats!
Jessica Simpson gave birth to her second child on Sunday June 30, a son she named Ace Knute. Simpsons explained that the baby’s middle name is pronounced “Ka-nute” and is said to be the first name of her fiance Eric Johnson‘s Swedish paternal grandfather. Here I thought he was named after that little polar bear. Little Ace was delivered by C-Section in Los Angeles and is said to have a dimpled chin just like his dad. D’awww. Ace joins big sister Maxwell, who is 14 months old.
The 2013 Billboard Music Awards weren’t as bad as I thought they would be. Even before the show disappeared for a couple of years, it was always a bit of a second tier awards show. Sunday night the show delivered, if only because of a handful of performances and appearances.
There were the usual suspects, Taylor Swift and her stiff dancing, Nicki Minaj and her fake butt, but the night belonged to two legends, and a girl who unfortunately became the talk of the internet after a rock star move gone wrong. Tracy Morgan was the host, and he was ok, I mean all he had to do was change jackets and read cue cards.
Our dear Bruno Mars kicked off the show with “Treasure” in true Las Vegas style.
Though we are all going through a bit of Pitbull fatigue, he took to the stage to perform “Feel This Moment” with Christina Aguilera and capped off the performance with a guest appearance by Morten Harket of A-Ha singing the classic “Take On Me,” which Pitbull’s song samples. It was a cute moment and we couldn’t help but sing along.
My only complaint, and one that Kid Rock would echo later while presenting, is that Xtina was singing to a backing track. She certainly didn’t need it, but somehow it was louder than her. I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t like this trend of damn good singers relying on, whether they want to or not, pre-recorded vocals. What is happening to our divas?!!
Will.i.Am would perform “#ThatPower” with Justin Bieber, but more importantly handed Madonna some strange award for touring. Madge strutted on stage wearing practically nothing below the waist. She removed her “pretentious sunglasses‘ before giving her speech. I’d like to imagine Madonna and Prince backstage comparing squat techniques or something.
Someone who forgot remove their pretentious sunglasses was Bieber, who had a solo performance with “Take You.” But it was later when he would accept the “Top Social Artist” award, which isn’t even a real thing but whatever, he got booed by the audience. He got defensive, naturally, and told the crowd,
“I’m 19 years old. I think I’m doing a pretty good job. Basically from my heart I really just want to say it really should be about to music. It should be about the craft that I’m making. This is not a gimmick and I’m an artist and I should be taken seriously.”
There are so many things wrong with this statement i’m just going to move on.
Miguel has been having a stellar year and getting a lot of recognition for his performing. However, maybe he should have saved the theatrics. During “Adorn” he jumped over the crowd but just missed the stage and landed on a poor girl in the audience.
Her name is Khyati and thankfully she’s ok, but now the subject of a meme because this is the internet.
Miguel has gotten many comparisons to Prince, but The Purple One would never put his dainty balls on anyone without asking in the most polite way. Of course, Prince would close out the show, but it felt like it took forever to get to him.
The lovely and stylish Erykah Badu and Janelle Monae, who should have performed, introduced him and he got to show the kids how it’s really done. He did the funky, updated version of “Let’s Go Crazy” and a new one, “Fix Ur Life Up.” He also received the “Icon Award” which he doesn’t need, because he’s Prince, bitches.
OhforpitySAKE. Look who’s decided to tour again. PRINCE. Don’t these people realize we cannot afford to see ALL OF YOU in the same year? We’ve got Bruno Mars, Justin Timberlake, Rihanna…the list is LONG, you guys. Granted, I don’t wanna see everyone who comes to Seattle, but I sure as hell would love to see that Sexy Motherf*cker up CLOSE at the SHOWBOX! Yeah. That’s what’s making this news even more painful. SMALL. VENUES.
So. If you’ve got hundreds of dollars for one ticket, here’s the tour schedule. Gotdammit.
4/15 – Vancouver, British Columbia | The Vogue (Early Show) 4/15 – Vancouver, British Columbia | The Vogue (Late Show) 4/16 – Vancouver, British Columbia | The Vogue (Early Show) 4/16 – Vancouver, British Columbia | The Vogue (Late Show) 4/18 – Seattle, Wash. | Showbox (Early Show) 4/18 – Seattle, Wash. | Showbox (Late Show) 4/19 – Seattle, Wash. | Showbox (Early Show) 4/19 – Seattle, Wash. | Showbox (Late Show) 4/23 – San Francisco, Calif. | DNA Lounge (Early Show) 4/23 – San Francisco, Calif. | DNA Lounge (Late Show) 4/24 – San Francisco, Calif. | DNA Lounge (Early Show) 4/24 – San Francisco, Calif. | DNA Lounge (Late Show) 4/26 – Las Vegas, Nev. | The Joint (Early Show) 4/26 – Las Vegas, Nev. | The Joint (Late Show) 4/27 – Las Vegas, Nev. | The Joint (Early Show) 4/27 – Las Vegas, NV | The Joint (Late Show) 4/30 – Phoenix, Ariz. | The Marquee (Early Show) 4/30 – Phoenix, Ariz. | The Marquee (Late Show) 5/1 – Phoenix, Ariz | The Marquee (Early Show) 5/1 – Phoenix, Ariz. | The Marquee (Late Show) 5/3 – San Diego, Calif. | Hard Rock Hotel (Early Show) 5/3 – San Diego, Calif. | Hard Rock Hotel (Late Show) 5/4 – San Diego, Calif. | Hard Rock Hotel (Early Show) 5/4 – San Diego, Calif. | Hard Rock Hotel (Late Show) 5/7 – Anaheim, Calif. | The Grove (Early Show) 5/7 – Anaheim, Calif. | The Grove (Late Show) 5/8 – Anaheim, Calif. | The Grove (Early Show) 5/8 – Anaheim, Calif. | The Grove (Late Show)
You know what? I have a headache over this. Now picture me sitting here PRAYING that David Bowietours…because he’s the ONLY sexy old bitch who’s getting our money this year.