Tag Archives: Prince William and Kate Middleton

Let’s Chat About Kate’s ‘Official Portrait’, Shall We?



I’m THISCLOSE to starting a new blog called PoorKate.com.  Seriously.  This painting had to be chosen by the Queen and her Horse-in-Law, Camilla.  I can see these two biddies elbowing each other and snickering behind Poor Kate’s back.  Or right in FRONT of her back.  Wrinkles, bags and jowls.  Oh my.

As IF Kate doesn’t feel crappy enough with her difficult and barfy pregnancy, she has to presented with an Official Portrait of her poor self looking like she’s never seen the light of day, but has aged 25 years since her wedding day, all while still wearing that blue dress.

I’m tempted to Photoshop this horrible thing on Poor Kate’s behalf.  What do YOU guys think?  Is it just me??

Duchess Kate Is PREGNANT!



Halleluherrr!  Kate’s PREGNANT!  This lovely news has been confirmed, according to the duke and duchess’ official website (which has crashed due to, well, all of us flipping right out) and by formal statement, announcing The Duchess’s condition:

Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Cambridge is expecting a baby.

The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall and Prince Harry and members of both families are delighted with the news.

The Duchess was admitted this afternoon to King Edward VII Hospital in Central London with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. As the pregnancy is in its very early stages, Her Royal Highness is expected to stay in hospital for several days and will require a period of rest thereafter.

The poor thing, though.  For those of us who know about morning all-day sickness for all nine months, I feel for her. Acute morning sickness is real.  I think I’m getting a sympathy barf on deck just talking about it.

SO exciting…but oh, Kate.  I have one bit of advice.  Brush your teeth during your shower. (Not even gonna go into detail why.) Honey, just get it all over with at once.

My Royal Family Dorkiness has been renewed!

MORE Kate Middleton Pictures? Yeah, THAT Kind.

Oh, Kate.

I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t advise you of some new photos of Kate Middleton from her nude sunbathing holiday with William.  Yeah.  See what I did there? I made it sound as if I have some kind of duty to inform you about (gulp) bottomless pics of love Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge taken with a crazy-huge lens unbeknownst to her.

The photos which were seemingly copied from a spread in the Scandinavian magazine Se og Hør (which translates to See and Hear), are on Egostastic.com.  Someone needs to start a PoorKate.com. Seriously.

Ugh. Poor Kate Dot Com

via Eonline.com:

“We are a leading gossip magazine in Denmark, and it is my job to publish them,” Kim Henningsen said, via the Belfast Telegraph.

Taken with a very long lens the grainy images show Will slathering Kate’s back and bottom with lotion as she pulls down her bikini.

A rep for the royals declined to comment, telling E! News, “Our stance is the same as before—we aren’t commenting on any further legal action save to say all proportionate responses will be kept under review.”

Scandalous Kate pics could fetch $1 million.

In other words, Denmark is on notice.

Ten days ago, lawyers for Will and Kate obtained an injunction against Closer for breach of privacy. The magazine was ordered to pull the topless pics and hand over all digital copies. A French court has also launched a criminal probe into whether the tabloid and the photographer should face prosecution. Separately, the editor for the Irish Daily Star was suspended for giving the go-ahead for his paper to publish some of the topless images.

I know. All y’all care about is the LINK. Fine. Go! I’ll spare you my alternately outraged yet perversely curious rant.