Tag Archives: Please Don’t Die

Tilda Swinton Needs to STOP Pretending to be David Bowie. Now.

Knock it off, Tilda.

Photo: WMagazine

Gotdammit.  I’m crabby and this crap doesn’t help.  In my best Oprah voice: “I GET IT, PEOPLE! Tilda Swinton looks like a dude when she dresses like one!” Who DOESN’T?

There is ONLY ONE MF-ing Thin White Duke!

Jesus.  W Magazine’s stylists and photo editors really need to try something original.  And keep their grubby paws off David Bowie.

See? Mr. Bowie's unhappy about this travesty as well. He TOLD me.

Man, I’m cranky.  And OLD.

p.s.  Do you have an absolutely fear and dread that a celebrity you WORSHIP is going to die?  Yeah.  I thought so…who is yours?  I guess you know mine NOW. (Oh, FYI: It’s not Swinton, you dorks.)

Whitney Houston bombs and fails in Birmingham. Say a prayer…

Sad, sad, SAD.

Oh, Whitney. Girl.  Don’t go out this way.  Go home to Mama  and REST some more.  For reals this time.

via Mr.Paparazzi.com

“Firstly the singer caused audience-goers in the States to grumble with her off-key performances at a string of gigs a few months ago, and then the troubled star was forced to reschedule three gigs in Europe last week after she came down with a nasty respiratory infection.

But after a brief stint in hospital Whitney is now back on her feet and last night the legendary singer headed to Birmingham to play at her first live concert in the UK in 11 years.

Suffice to say her performance didn’t quite live up to her fans’ expectations; according to reports the singer’s voice was exceptionally shaky, she often talked for long periods between songs and at one point she even left the stage for 15 minutes.

A particular low-point though came at the end of her gig when she sang what should have been the piece de résistance of her concert; her classic ballad I Will Always Love You. As you can see from this video Whitney simply failed to reach the high notes (skip to around 3:00 for a particularly shocking off-key moment) and ended up sounding a bit like a drunk singer at a cheap karaoke bar.”

This video is truly painful to watch, isn’t it?  Poor Whitney.  I feel like I just can’t even make fun of her anymore.  I’m afraid she’s gonna end up dead if she doesn’t get it together, but I worry that won’t happen.

Say a prayer for Whitney Houston, y’all.