Tag Archives: Plastic surgery overload

Mickey Rourke? What In Silicone Argyle Hell?

Wow, Mickey Rourke. Just. Wow.

You guys.  I don’t even know what to say about this.  I feel bad, really.  What the hell happened to Mickey Rourke? Oh, we’ve discussed the subject before…but, man.  I’ve seen folks have some jacked-up plastic surgery before, but Mickey has clearly had a head vivisection. And don’t even try to tell me it’s all due to his former “boxing career” because I don’t buy it.

 

Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger 26 years ago in 9 1/2 Weeks

 

Oh, MST3K.

HEY.  That reminds me of something! Oh, Mystery Science Theater 3000.

In Mickey’s case, I think it’s The chin, argyle sweater, bloat, WIG That Wouldn’t Die.  Sure, I feel badly for mentioning Mickey’s unfortunate-ness.  But I think he’s giving us a cry for help.  I don’t think the average person has changed THIS much in 26 years.  Again. I’m beating a dead horse.  (The mean-spirited jokes write themselves, people.)

I actually enjoy Mickey as an actor.  I think he’s a nut, but he was always a decent actor.  I also realize that we would be hard-pressed to find anyone who hasn’t gone under the knife in Hollywood. (I’m looking at you Halle Berry, Demi Moore, Zac Efron, Cameron Diaz, Tom Cruise…oh, hell–too many to list.)

Ooooh…pretty balloons.

 

I’m rambling, but what in the world happened to Mickey that he’d do this to himself? And by that I mean, why would he  wear that wig?

Who’s THAT Bitch?

Bizarre, is correct.

I’m assuming (and too tired/lazy/and dealing with a crazy-burning esophagus) to check, but this appears to be the Russian version of Harper’s Bazaar.  But what I don’t know–or didn’t know for a few minutes, just who exactly this chick on the cover is looking back at me.  I literally looked at this odd face for five minutes before I had to cheat and find The Answer to our favorite game show: Who’s That Bitch?

Any guesses?  How much money does it cost to de-squint one’s eyes?  Oh, and how exactly does one go about eliminating the permanent Lemon Head sour-puss mouth from one’s lips?  Usually women WANT that crazy-ass mouth, don’t they?  The nose is just off.  I don’t know what happened, but all that bearding CLEARLY has taken its toll on the once “IT Girl” whom we all sorta liked.  You know, she completed us. (Sorry.)

Squinty McLemonface, back in the day

What. In. The. GD. Plastic. Surgery. Hell?

Lindsay Lohan’s New Lips and Hair – Love It or Hate It?

Ummmm...Lindsay can't even close her mouth.

Is Jessica Simpson’s former BFF and hairstylist to the stars (?), Ken Paves trying to turn Lindsay into Jessica?

Oh, hey, Jess!

I gotta say, the haircut was much needed.  At least there are some nice curls and waves and layers in that weave, instead of a dried-out horsey tail.  But MORE lip injections?  Yikes, girl.  I wonder if Lindsay is actually having more Playboy pics taken–why the big make-over now? Oh, wait. I think I heard she’s showing up on HLN (not CNN–big difference **coughDippedInCreamAsSeenOnCNNcough**), so maybe that’s what’s up with the trip to the plastic surgeon and weave doctor.

Honestly, though?  There is never a good answer for anything Lindsay does, so why do I even bother?