It’s about time People Magazine got it right by declaring to the world (what we already know) that Lupita Nyong’ois the ‘Most Beautiful’.
After years of of giving me a case of the Full Body Eyerolls by naming that gotdam Paltrow, JLo, or worse yet, Horseface JuliaRoberts (although, I see she still managed to flare her nostrils and swish her tail onto the cover) the editors at People came to their collective senses.
Lupita gave People Magazine a thoughtful statement about being named Most Beautiful:
“It was exciting and just a major, major compliment. I was happy for all the girls who would see me on [it] and feel a little more seen.”
Lupita wins EVERYTHING this year. She is completely flawless. Can this “honor” be given to Ms. Nyong’o each and every year until the end of days?
Apparently People magazine is running out of stars to bestow this “honor” to. You see, Gwyneth Paltrow has a new movie coming out, ‘Iron Man 3′ which is why she’s been bombarding us with her off-putting personality more than usual, and the only other reason why the mag thought she would be a good candidate for this. Naturally, the other stars featured in this are more worthy of the title, but don’t have publicists working overtime to quench their client’s thirst.
She doesn’t even try in her interview, spewing the same crap actresses say when they want to be relatable , but this is Goop Poop so she really believes this stuff.
“Around the house, I’m in jeans and a T-shirt. I don’t really wear makeup.” As for her husband, Chris Martin, “He’ll make a joke about it. If I’ve gotten fully dressed up, he’ll be like, ‘Oh, wow! You’re Gwyneth Paltrow!’ Because he’s used to seeing me in like baggy shorts and frizzy hair.” I’m sure, she also threw in this gem about landing the cover, “It’s a very iconic cover in American culture, so it’s just amazing. And I think people feel really happy for you when you say you’re going to be in the issue.”
There’s been much talk about her dietary habits, but I think the real way she stays so thin and “healthy looking” is that her head is stuck so far up her own ass it keeps her from eating. [Cut to DivaJulia laugh-choke-spit-taking sparkling water all over her laptop screen. Not. Even. Kidding.] Also featured in the ‘World’s Most Beautiful’ issue are Kerry Washington, singer Pink and legendary actress Jane Fonda.
The issue hits newsstands on Friday, but you probably won’t be buying it.
Beyoncé has taken the crown from last year’s “winner” Jennifer Lopez for People Magazine’s annual Most Beautiful Woman in the World issue. What do we think of the magazine’s choice? I’m cool with it, I suppose. Beyis gorgeous, that’s for sure. She attributes part of her beauty to being a new mother. (I sure don’t know any real moms who ran around saying, “aren’t I beeeeeauuuuutiful now that I had my baby??) I know what she means, but still. All I could see was sagginess and stretchmarks–that never ever go away. But I digress.
“I feel more beautiful than I’ve ever felt because I’ve given birth,” says PEOPLE’s 2012 World’s Most Beautiful Woman. “I have never felt so connected, never felt like I had such a purpose on this earth.”
Well, good for you, Hon. It certainly helps having 16 nannies, 10 trainers and a bazillion dollars to take care of your “purpose on this earth”.