Tag Archives: Milka-whaaa?

Happy Birthday, Lindsay Lohan…(eyeroll) How ’bout a punch in the face?

I love this photo...Happy Birthday, Linds!

You know, no one could make up the kind of crap Lindsay always seems to find herself in–like getting punched by a waitress last night, while she was hanging out with that other idiot Doug Reinhardt (I seriously don’t even know or CARE about this dude.  I just know he was always photographed kissing/fighting with Paris Hilton while they begged for attention from the paps.).

AnyHOOKER.  Lindsay Tweeted to the world about the altercation:

I just love how nothing is EVER Lindsay’s fault.  NOTHING.  She’s always being “set up”.  Everyone is always trying to make her look bad — it’s never LINDSAY’S bad behavior.  I realize I went OFF last week about how we all know people like Lindsay.  Remember the Word of the Day–ENTITLEMENTARIANISM?

Y’all heard about the big, set-up to make Lindsay look bad photoshoot that was shown on BRAVO’s series Double Exposure, right?  You know, where Lindsay showed up 11 hours late, looking haggard/wasted and making squinchy faces at the dirty stripper pole? (Like she hasn’t had worse things inside her body…c’mon Lindsay.)  Naturally, Lindsay claims BRAVO executives intentionally gave her the wrong time so she would be late.  The crazy thing is for anyone to even think Lindsay could be ANYWHERE at 10:00 a.m. without an attorney dragging her flat ass to court the location.  So maybe, in Lindsay’s mind, it WAS a set up!   How DARE they think she could get on the pole at the hour!

Oh, and I love this quote by the photographer on Double Exposure:

“I literally need to think of myself as a wildlife photographer.. There’s almost a danger element to her presence,” said a photographer. “You never know what’s gonna happen in the next two and a half seconds.  Is she gonna bite you?

That was quite possibly the biggest compliment EVER given to Lindsay.  She’s getting it tattooed on her scabby, clear skin as we speak.

Lindsay Lohan’s Day in Court – Latest Details (VIDEO)

Lindsay, trying to be "iconic" on her way to court...

Let’s talk about the important things first, shall we?

I can hear Lindsay, trying to get ready for her court appearance, “You guys. I want to look TIMELESS walking into court.  These pictures will be EVERYWHERE! (sniff)”

So our girl showed up in dark gray suit with a white blouse (unbuttoned one button too many, naturally), big Jackie-O sunglasses and that dirty weave pulled back in a conservative manner.

Too bad none of her grooming worked, because Linds still has to wear the SCRAM jewelry, which scans for alcohol intake.  It’ll look awesome with all of her party clothing!

Lindsay's new jewlery. Photo: TMZ.com

Lindsay also has to comply with once a week random drug-testing and more boozy-classes.  Oh, and I loved how Lindsay said she “wasn’t partying in Cannes”, she was “working!”.  For your viewing pleasure:

"What?? I was WORKING in Cannes - NOT partying, you guys!"

Photo via TMZ.com

Oh, and get this:  Lindsay used the excuse for not attending one of her boozy classes due to the fact that her “uncle died”.  The judged questioned whether Lindsay attended the funeral for her dead uncle, and Lindsay’s poor attorney had to admit that she “did not” attend.  I feel badly for that attorney, I can tell you that. And NOT just for having to endure the scent of the self-tanner her client bathed in last night.  Orange County, y’all. Wow.  Here are a few more deets:

via HuffPo:

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — A judge on Monday refused a request by Lindsay Lohan’s attorney to ease restrictions involving drug and alcohol testing on the actress so she can film a movie in Texas.

Lohan, wearing a dark gray suit, appeared somber and concerned when she conferred with her attorney about attaching an alcohol-monitoring bracelet to her ankle and requiring drug testing every week in the Los Angeles area.

Lohan’s attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, told the judge that Lohan was planning to travel to Texas to film a movie, but the judge suggested the actress may have to delay the project.

Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel offered to spend a half hour reading Lohan and Holley a list of reasons for ordering the bracelet, drug tests and an alcohol-education program. Holley declined and accepted the judge’s decision.

The judge also set a probation violation hearing for July 6 to address Lohan’s failure to appear in court last week for a scheduled progress report on her probation stemming from two arrests in 2007.”

Take a good, hard look at the photos of Lindsay…a reminder:  She’s 23 years old.

Lindsay Lohan Has a Warrant for Her Arrest? $100,000 Bail-a-whaaa?

Lindsay's OLD mugshot, from 2007.

UMMMMMM! Someone’s in TROUBLE.  Before we get to the matter at hand, which is Lindsay’s impending arrest (handcuffs-whaaa?) upon arrival back to Los Angeles, let’s discuss THIS:

What is going ON with the lining of Lindsay's little dress? Photo: HuffingtonPost.com

Okay.  Raggedy.

Now.  Back to Lindsay getting a new mugshot!

The fact of the matter is, I’m torn when it comes to this 23 year old girl.  She’s had leeches for parents who have continually used her life as their vehicle for publicity and financial gain.  That cannot feel good–and it’s been going on for years.  Add Dina and Michael Lohan’s public bickering, name-calling and constant fame-whoring and that equals a screwed-up girl named Lindsay.  (Remember Lindsay has a younger brother, Cody and sister, Ali.  Neither one of Lindsay’s siblings have had the kind of monetary success she had–in the past–so Dina and Michael don’t seem as intent on getting their grubby mitts on their bank accounts.  However, these kids will most certainly suffer psychologically from all this dysfunction, if they aren’t already.)

ANYway.  We’ll keep everyone posted on Lindsay’s whereabouts today.  I hear-tell she never even applied for a replacement passport to come back to the States.

via People.com

“There is no valid excuse [for Lohan not being here], Judge Marsha Revel countered. “If she wanted to be here, she could’ve been here. She could’ve come two days early from Cannes. She has a history of not keeping scheduled appointments. She has to take this seriously. I’ve warned her before.”

The judge ordered an arrest warrant for Lohan and set bail at $100,000, although it remains unclear whether authorities will apprehend the starlet on sight after she arrives in L.A. “

Just tellin’ ya what I heard.  Yikes.  This could get really icky.