Naturally, Madonna,55, thought she could wear strips of dirty sheets to the Met Gala, but “MOM SAID ‘NO’!”Either that, or she just wanted to show her tits on Instagram, knowing it would go viral (ew). Here’s her tweet from yesterday:
Listen, I’m the first one to say Madonna has a great rack. (Okay, maybe not the first.) No one…and I mean, NO ONE would’ve assumed she was making a political statement by wearing some sort of bondage-wraps. Yeah, she’s so serious about the horrendous state of women and girls in today’s world, that all the attention would have been on her boobs. THAT’S dedication, my friends. Either that, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Raise your hand if y’aller shocked by this photo? No one? That’s what I thought.
I’ll give Miley credit for keeping her name (and tongue?) out there for constant PR…and now she here is, On The Cover of the Rolling Stone. She twangs about the VMA’s, double standards for women in the music industry (true dat), sky-diving, Kanye, and a whole lot more.
Miley admits that her performance with Thicke got a little – her word – “handsy.” But she makes a good point: “No one is talking about the man behind the ass. It was a lot of ‘Miley twerks on Robin Thicke,’ but never, ‘Robin Thicke grinds up on Miley.’ They’re only talking about the one that bent over. So obviously there’s a double standard.” She was especially amused by the criticism from Brooke Shields, who played Miley’s mom on Hannah Montana and called the VMA performance “desperate.” “Brooke Shields was in a movie where she was a prostitute at age 12!” Miley says with a laugh.
The article is fascinating, really. I did say “PREACH!” when Miley touched on the constant double standards for women and men as well as Brooke Shields’ snippy criticism. Her 1978 film, “Pretty Baby” still wigs me out at the mere thought. If you don’t know what film I’m referring to, take a look:
No, Miley’s not the most talented chick out there, but neither was Madonna back in the day with her baby-Minnie Mouse voice, rolling around on the stage in a wedding dress on the first VMAs.
So for folks bitching about the likes of Bob Dylan (seriously?) and whining about what “real music was all about”, you people sound like your ancient parents back in the 60’s.
Having said all that, I’m glad I don’t have a young daughter right now. It’s a terrifying world out there, but Miley Cyrus is the least of the problem, and that story is for another day.
I never said I wasn’t a flip-flopper. I’m just being realistic.
The 2013 Billboard Music Awards weren’t as bad as I thought they would be. Even before the show disappeared for a couple of years, it was always a bit of a second tier awards show. Sunday night the show delivered, if only because of a handful of performances and appearances.
There were the usual suspects, Taylor Swift and her stiff dancing, Nicki Minaj and her fake butt, but the night belonged to two legends, and a girl who unfortunately became the talk of the internet after a rock star move gone wrong. Tracy Morgan was the host, and he was ok, I mean all he had to do was change jackets and read cue cards.
Our dear Bruno Mars kicked off the show with “Treasure” in true Las Vegas style.
Though we are all going through a bit of Pitbull fatigue, he took to the stage to perform “Feel This Moment” with Christina Aguilera and capped off the performance with a guest appearance by Morten Harket of A-Ha singing the classic “Take On Me,” which Pitbull’s song samples. It was a cute moment and we couldn’t help but sing along.
My only complaint, and one that Kid Rock would echo later while presenting, is that Xtina was singing to a backing track. She certainly didn’t need it, but somehow it was louder than her. I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t like this trend of damn good singers relying on, whether they want to or not, pre-recorded vocals. What is happening to our divas?!!
Will.i.Am would perform “#ThatPower” with Justin Bieber, but more importantly handed Madonna some strange award for touring. Madge strutted on stage wearing practically nothing below the waist. She removed her “pretentious sunglasses‘ before giving her speech. I’d like to imagine Madonna and Prince backstage comparing squat techniques or something.
Someone who forgot remove their pretentious sunglasses was Bieber, who had a solo performance with “Take You.” But it was later when he would accept the “Top Social Artist” award, which isn’t even a real thing but whatever, he got booed by the audience. He got defensive, naturally, and told the crowd,
“I’m 19 years old. I think I’m doing a pretty good job. Basically from my heart I really just want to say it really should be about to music. It should be about the craft that I’m making. This is not a gimmick and I’m an artist and I should be taken seriously.”
There are so many things wrong with this statement i’m just going to move on.
Miguel has been having a stellar year and getting a lot of recognition for his performing. However, maybe he should have saved the theatrics. During “Adorn” he jumped over the crowd but just missed the stage and landed on a poor girl in the audience.
Her name is Khyati and thankfully she’s ok, but now the subject of a meme because this is the internet.
Miguel has gotten many comparisons to Prince, but The Purple One would never put his dainty balls on anyone without asking in the most polite way. Of course, Prince would close out the show, but it felt like it took forever to get to him.
The lovely and stylish Erykah Badu and Janelle Monae, who should have performed, introduced him and he got to show the kids how it’s really done. He did the funky, updated version of “Let’s Go Crazy” and a new one, “Fix Ur Life Up.” He also received the “Icon Award” which he doesn’t need, because he’s Prince, bitches.