John Mayer is super, super sorry for using “that” word, y’all. (Appearance by Snippy the Giraffe.)
"Umm. Wait. That's not what I meant."
Well, THAT was fast, Mr. Mayer. After his odd interview with Playboy, John felt the need to backpedal a bit...and that's okay, I 'spose. (Speaking as one who can also be "very"...we'll all be using that adverb to describe questionable personal behavior, mark my words.)
ANYblabbermouth, here's what John had to say about the controversial interview:
"Re: using the 'N word' in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it's such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there's no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged.
And while I'm using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it's time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews. It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it's gotten out of hand and I've created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don't have the stomach for it. Again, because I don't want anyone to think I'm equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again.I just wanted to play the guitar for people. Everything else just sort of popped up and I improvised, and kept doubling down on it..."
Uh oh.
John. Stop talking. Just sing.
So John Mayer REALLY likes to masturbate. FYI.
JOHN! Stop that!
I know 20 year old "boys" who are more mature emotionally than 32-year old John Mayer. AND they're musicians, so that's not John's excuse for being waaay to "very" (his word). I'm assuming "very" means that he can just blab ultra-personal crap all over the internet, Playboy Magazine, Rolling Stone and to the TMZ paps. ForpitySAKE John--NO BOUNDARIES should be the name of your new album. Yeeeeesh. Take a gander, y'all:
via Playboy.com
On Jennifer Aniston:
We just have a regard for each other's feelings that is pretty intense. It's been a deep relationship, and it's no longer taking place at all. Have you ever loved somebody, loved her completely, but had to end the relationship for life reasons? One of the most significant differences between us was that I was tweeting. There was a rumor that I had been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn't it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she's still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, "These are the new rules." I'll always be sorry that it didn't last. In some ways I wish I could be with her. But I can't change the fact that I need to be 32.On his 2006-07 relationship with Jessica Simpson:
That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me... Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, "I want to quit my life and just fuckin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.
PLAYBOY: Masturbation for you is as good as sex?MAYER: Absolutely, because during sex, I’m just going to run a filmstrip. I’m still masturbating. That’s what you do when you’re 30, 31, 32. This is my problem now: Rather than meet somebody new, I would rather go home and replay the amazing experiences I’ve already had.
PLAYBOY: You’d rather jerk off to an ex-girlfriend than meet someone new?
MAYER: Yeah. What that explains is that I’m more comfortable in my imagination than I am in actual human discovery. The best days of my life are when I’ve dreamed about a sexual encounter with someone I’ve already been with. When that happens, I cannot lay off myself."
Oh, there's more. John said he'd "eat his f*cking shoe" if Jen knew how to download a song on the computer, because she's clearly still living in 1998. (Okay, that was funny. But still.)
Like I mentioned in an earlier post, Stephen and I have tickets to see John Mayer in the spring. I'll need to bathe in boiling bleach afterward, obviously.
Taylor Swift and John Mayer Hooked Up? File Under: Grain of Salt
"Ya got mah room key, right Baby?"
Really? I mean, I don't put this past John Mayer, but Taylor? Meh. Maybe...maybe not. THAT'S why I'm here, y'all--for hard-hitting, factual crap like that. HA! Good one.
via DigitalSpy.com
“She was sitting on John’s lap, her arms were around him, and she was talking in his ear. They were acting like teenagers.”
The source claimed that the couple dined at the Cabana restaurant and were joined by their friends. After their dinner reservation, they were spotted leaving the restaurant alone and heading to the Hermitage Hotel.
“Taylor spent the night and enjoyed mid-morning room service before leaving his suite the next day.”
If they "did it", Taylor knows her way around a rubber sheet now. HEY! Just tellin' ya what I heard. Don't blame the messenger.
John Mayer and his REAL girlfriend in bed.
Seeing John Mayer on latest coverof Rolling Stone reminds me of Bryan Adams' old school song, "Run to You" -- that was written for his GUITAR, but sounds like he's singing to a lover. (My gorgeous son, Hunter feels the same way about his guitar, so it doesn't seem weird to me.) What DOES seem weird are some of the statements John makes in the interview--here's a little bit of it. Wow. Someone talks about masturbation a bit too much, and it makes me have images of John and Aniston that I don't want in my head. Thanks, Dude. Yeeeesh.
via RollingStone.com
On preferring Continuum to his 2009 disc Battle Studies: ”I know that I’m supposed to say that my newest is the best one. Bulls—.”
On his split with ex-girlfriend Jennifer Aniston: ”I’ve never really gotten over it. It was one of the worst times of my life… I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I’ve had relationships with. What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f—ing fantastic, if I said to her, I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.”
On his sex life becoming an endless loop of new girls rejecting him in clubs: ”Blowing me off is the new sucking me off!”
On finding a girlfriend: “Do you think it’s going to take meeting someone who I admire more than I admire myself? But isn’t it also about a beautiful vagina? Aren’t we talking about a matrix of a couple of different things here? Like, you need to have them be able to go toe-to-toe with you intellectually. But don’t they also have to have a vagina you could pitch a tent on and just camp out on for, like, a weekend? Doesn’t that have to be there, too? The Joshua Tree of vaginas? …I’ll be happy when I close out this life-partner thing. Think of how much mental capacity I’m using to meet the right person so I can stop giving a f–k about it.”
On his relationships: “All I want to do now is f–k the girls I’ve already f–ked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them, and they’re going, But you’re John Mayer
! So I’m going backwards to move forward. I’m too freaked out to
meet anybody else.”On masturbation : “I am the new generation of masturbator. I’ve seen it all. Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week.”
On if he pleasures himself daily: “I don’t like that question, because it seeks to make me sound strange if I say ‘Yes, but of course I do.’ I mean, I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. First of all, I don’t jerk off because I’m horny. I’m sort of half-chick. It’s like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It’s like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself.”
On the paparazzi: “I’ll be honest with you. All this weird s–t about me? All this strangeness? I wouldn’t have a music career without it. But I am at odds with myself. I have some presence of psychological damage from the past 36 months. I have not had a woman appear in my dreams sexually without a paparazzi in the dream too. I can’t even have a wet dream without having to explain to someone who’s grinding on me, We can’t do this right now, because there’s a guy over there taking pictures.”
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