Tag Archives: Jeremy Renner

‘Hansel and Gretel – Witch Hunters 3D’ RED BAND Trailer (Sorta NSFW)

Happy Monday, my little ones. We’re just going to pretend that life didn’t come to a screeching halt over the holidays here at Dipped in Cream.  With the exception of Brittani ~ The Girl You Want and David E., we  all were either too caught up with family drama, university finals, horrid weather on the east coast or in my case, I just. Couldn’t. Write.  I was stuck. Disinterested. Watching CNN repeat the  horrible nightmarish tragedy on a loop 24/7.

So.  Let’s try this again, shall we?

Seems there’s a little twist in the classic faerie tale, Hansel and Gretel.  Wanna see?


via: DreadCentral.com

In theaters everywhere on January 25th, will be Tommy Wirkola’s mash-up flick, Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters! And now, if you scroll down below, you can watch a new Red Band Trailer for the film! “Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters” stars Gemma Arterton, Jeremy Renner, Famke Janssen, Peter Stormare, Ingrid Bolso Berdal, Derek Mears, Thomas Mann, and Zoe Bell.

It’s been a really long road to get here, but Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is finally on its way and we’ve got the very first TV spot to prove it to you. Fall under its spell right here. Dig it!

Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton star as the famous siblings, and the storyline picks up 15 years after their traumatic gingerbread house incident, which provoked them to become witch bounty hunters. Famke Janssen, Peter Stormare, Thomas Mann, Derek Mears, and Ingrid Bolsø Berdal also star.

In the film…the fairy-tale siblings are back, 15 years after their traumatic gingerbread house incident. Which has now provoked them to become a formidable team of bounty hunters, who track and kill witches all over the world.


Now that wasn’t too hard.  Was it?  I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

Jeremy Renner and Maroon 5 On ‘Saturday Night Live’


Jeremy Renner made a surprisingly good host for ‘SNL,’ showing off some hidden talents and delivering a pretty good show. I wasn’t sure what to expect from him, but this was a case where the writers put a little more effort into his sketches. If only they had did the same for another franchise star, Daniel Craig.

David Petraues and his affairs have been all over the news. It’s especially inexecapable seeing as how Paula Broadwell has been “hiding out” in her hometown of Charlotte and ‘SNL’ poked fun at the scandal in a number of ways. For the Cold Open, Cecily Strong played the writer, presenting the sordid details of her book on C-SPAN, of all places.  As she delves deeper into their sex life, everyone leaves except one creeper played by Fred Armisen. This story isn’t going to leave the headlines anytime soon, Fred’s character is pretty much representing all the people who are still paying attention to this mess.

Renner’s monologue started off like many other first time hosts. I’m not completely against singing during the monologues, but it only works if the song is good and funny. Here, Renner takes to the piano to reveal all the parody songs he’s written for the numerous movies he’s been in. Who knew he had that voice in him?

Best Sketches

The “Tourism Ad” about going home for Thanksgiving urged you to “visit your childhood home” where you can sleep on bleach stained sheets and watch your dad change a light bulb in his underwear. The holidays are a time for visiting your family, sharing big meals and reminding yourself why you only visit for three days at a time, two times out of the year.



“The Situation Room” again focused on the Petraeus scandal. Cecily Strong opened the show as Paula Broadwell and here plays Jill Kelly in possibly the only footage that the news has of her. Walking out of her house in that ugly, pink dress. The best part of this was Tim Robinson dressed as her during the dramatic reenactment. Because CNN would do something like this, and they’d try to work in a hologram somehow.



“The Stand Off” was weird, but it worked because you could tell they were all committed to the premise. Jeremy along with Taran Killam and Bobby Moynihan are in a “Mexican Stand Off,” which seems to popular on tv these days, which starts off in a garage then takes them out into the streets where they meet Adam Levine and even attend a Thanksgiving dinner together. All while pointing their guns at each other.

“Coroner” was the last sketch of the night. These are usually the best but this one ended up being funny if only for Bill Hader tapping at Taran’s “body” while his brother, played by Jeremy, continuously tried to identify it. “He told me he was dead!” was the best delivered line of the night.

Weekend Update

WU was pretty solid this week. Seth‘s “Winners and Losers” section paid attention to how cheaters are being affected by the Petraeus scandal. Then Jay Pharaoah made an appearance as Katt Williams, who came to talk about his recent arrest. Jay’s impression was spot on, but it was too obvious that the audience didn’t get it., which made it even funnier when Jay joked about being in front of a white audience.


When Seth introduced “New Jersey Governor Chris Christie!” I was expecting to see Bobby roll out beside Seth and start throwing jokes, but it was actually Chris Christie! The show has been lacking in the real life political figures making appearances, but I wouldn’t put it past Christie to not want to have the chance to portray himself. The fleece thing was a little gross though.

Worst Sketches

“The Californians” WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS SKETCH?!!!! Granted, Fred’s breaking and Kenan‘s delivery were funny, but I still don’t understand this sketch and I don’t think I want to.

“Movie Set” has Renner playing himself opposite a thick-headed actor played by Jason Sudeikis who looked a lot like Vin Diesel in his bald cap. This probably would have been better if Jason had been playing Diesel.


Maroon 5 and Mr. Levine are no strangers to ‘SNL.’ They hit the stage to perform their singles “One More Night” and “Daylight,” the first performance sounding  much better. I’m not sure when they started this wearing one color thing, but I kind of like it.  I think?

Today’s Guest Movie Reviewer – ‘The Bourne Legacy’


When I first learned that Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon were picking up their toys and leaving the Bourne Playground I was pretty happy about it. The Bourne trilogy is certainly not on par with the likes of the Mission Impossible series or the Daniel Craig led Bond movies in my opinion but they are solid and entertaining, definitely watchable. Sadly The Bourne Legacy is neither of the two and does not deserve to be placed alongside the other three.

The first mistake the movie makes is that instead of starting totally fresh it takes the audience all the way back to the events in the second and third movies in scene jumping agony. I can understand if they’d just spent the first 15 or 20 minutes doing this but it doesn’t. The movie spends about 30 to 45 minutes trying to tie Aaron Cross (played by Jeremy Renner) to Jason Bourne as if it was pleading with me to buy into it. The second (and dare I say the BIGGEST) mistake this movie makes is that it is sorely lacking in action. The Bourne Trilogy was among the first movie franchises in the last 2 decades to show us hand to hand combat that was gritty, and brutal. When you watch Jason Bourne beat the shit out of some random dude with a rolled up magazine it makes an impression, it tells you how badass he was and more importantly how badass his training was. I still cringe when I think about the scene in the first Bourne movie when Jason stabs a fellow agent in the hand with a ballpoint pen and then knocks him down only to see him stand up pull the pen out of his hand and keep on fighting. TBL has no such moments.

The action scenes are not very engaging and there aren’t a lot of them either. There is couple of forgettable fight scenes, one gun fight and one very long motorcycle chase scene towards the end and that’s that. Again, this movie seemed to be so concerned with convincing you that it’s part of the original franchise that it sacrifices the action in order to give us scene after scene of people talking and taking off their glasses and saying stupid things like “Do you know how deep this goes!?!?!” . Well, I do know now that I’ve watched this movie, and I wish I didn’t. Don’t get me wrong I understand that in the other three movies there was a lot of people talking and giving us exposition, but TBL does it to the point of sucking the energy out of the story. And I HAVENT EVEN GOTTEN TO HOW GOOFY THE STORY IS YET!!!

So we know from the first 3 movies that Jason Bourne was part of a super solider program. A program that the government had to shut down when it’s best candidate (Bourne) got amnesia and went rouge. What TBL tries to tell us is that the program Bourne was a part of was just the first stage and that in later stages the candidates for the program were genetically altered and then given medication to enhance them physically and mentally to be more efficient agents. But guess what?  This super-secret double probationary project has to be scrapped too because the dude who ran Bourne’s program (Treadstone) is seen on YouTube shaking hands with some other dude who runs the genetic enhancement stage of the program…WTF??? So of course agents all over the world start dying but Aaron Cross survives and goes on the run but here’s the idiotic catch, without his meds Aaron will become stupid… Yep, that’s what the movie tells us. This movie isn’t about international intrigue or world powers hiding secrets it’s about Jeremy Renner’s character not wanting to go back to being a complete dolt. How effing sad is that?

Jeremy Renner as Aaron Cross is bland and boring and Rachel Weisz who plays Dr. Marta Shearing the lone survivor of a mass shooting at a laboratory that works on the anti-stupid drugs is equally forgettable (although she at least appears to be trying). Everything about this movie is forgettable.

Having watched this movie I feel like I need some blue anti-stupid drugs now…