I have a gotdamn headache already without looking at those heavy-ass braids, y’all. I can barely put my mess into a ponytail without getting a migraine, but sometimes I need the “My Ponytail’s Too Tight Face-Lift“ that’s MY trademark, so don’t EVEN. You know what I’m talking about though, don’t you.. Pretty sure I need a Lifestyle Lift, but I REALLY want a LaJolla Lift.
Anyway. I STILL don’t know if Jay-Z was in attendance at that particular wedding that sullied ALL of Paris and especially Florence, but I do know Queen Bey stayed HOME and spent 5 days (maybe?) in a chair getting them braids attached to her melon.
But come ON. We all know who owns the Long Braids Game. Jane Child, circa 1989. (Also? I’m OLD.)
Excuse me while I dance in front of a wall and pound on it with my fists. It’s my signature move.
You know what? Don’t even try to lie. You are either full-on dancing or wiggling on your couch right now. (I’m doing a combination of the two, FYI…like what y’all do in the car at the red light.)
Jane Child is 45 today. This fantastic single and video debuted on MTV in 1989. I had a newborn baby boy, who’s now 22 and another boy in kindergarten, who’s 27 years old. That 27 year old absorbed this song into his smart little head and as an adult scoured all the used cd shops in Seattle to find all of Jane’s cds. In fact, we found one while we were having a “Mama and Boy Day” right before we saw Incubus at the Paramount Theatre that night. It’s also Brandon Boyd’s birthday today–he’s 36?? (Holy Lord. We are gettin’ OLD up in here.)
So, yes. It’ll probably be a two-fer today on the Birthday Roll-Call!