Hmm. This video probably is NSFW. Unless your boss happens to love loud electro-pop dance music with images of a nutcase in a fencing get-up slicing a hipster girl’s throat wide open. This video, directed by Daniel Wolfe is not for everyone. (Just most of you sickos.) So you’ve been warned or invited, depending on who are are, got that?
Let me say this: It takes a lot for my non-existent attention span to sit through eight minutes of anything without changing channels, opening more windows, writing, researching with my headphones on blasting David Bowie to block out CNN on the TV off to my right, texting four people while talking on the phone with Patrick, while simultaneously leaving snotty remarks on my kid’s Facebook page about obese cats named “Dinner“. But I did stop everything for those eight minutes to watch this video.
I do need to give credit where credit is due. If I hadn’t been for following “American Psycho” author, Bret Easton Ellis on Twitter, I wouldn’t have been turned on to this video. (And by “turned on” I mean advised of, taken the recommendation by NOT actually tur–oh, never mind. Y’all are so gross.)
Does anyone else feel as though Jakey G. is auditioning for the part of Patrick Bateman? I hear-tell Bret is writing a “where is Patrick Batemannow type of sequel to American Psycho. More on that topic later today.
You just know Taylor is writing a brand new song about Jake…what rhymes with BEARD? (Feared. Geared. Queered. Peered. Reared. Seared. Speared. Weird. Teared. Veered.) You’re welcome, Tay. I’d be happy to be your dictionary/thesauras anytime.
“They’re over,” a source tells PEOPLE about the short-lived relationship. “It ended last month.”
Oh. Okaaaaay. What about the vintage guitar and bracelet Jake supposed bought Taylor for her birthday? Honestly, though. Who even cares? Besides these two, I mean.
They sure got the crap-load of publicity they wanted, huh?
What is sure to go down in history as one of the great romances of our time, US Weekly brings up the inside scoop on Jake and Taylor’s ultra hot relationship. Let me get you a bucket, it gets worse from here.
Sources close to the couple say their “love” is “real” and that they “love” being together. It’s like a real-life Disney movie.
Either they are the biggest trolls in the world, or they actually are totes in love. Looking at her past relationships, one of which included John Mayer (really, girl?), I guess she deserves someone like Jake. If it is a showmance, and I have no reason to believe it isn’t,*ahem*, how did Jake’s sister Maggie get mixed up in all of this? I doubt a pap would take a picture of her even if they did recognize her, so this is all just so odd, but you know, real.
I hope they don’t have children. The poor things won’t be able to see.