Tag Archives: I Loathe Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow Compares Celebrity To A ‘Bloody War’

Noses UP!!
Noses UP!!

Oh, yes. The Insufferable One is at it a-bloody-gain.

Based on her CELEBRITY STATUS (yes, I’m YELLING) and her infuriatingly snooty blog GOOP, Paltrow was invited to give a quick 5-minute speech at a high-tech nerdfest called the Code Conference. She mentions that she spent countless nights worrying about not being able to fill up her small allotment of time, but ends up taking a full 15 minutes, after first bitching about not being provided with a teleprompter. (Please tell me she was eventually drug off the stage by Huell from Breaking Bad.) And just what exactly did she blather on about for three times her given amount of time on the agenda? HERSELF and how cruel The Internet is to the likes of HER.

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On trolls never being punished: “The lack of empathy that is created when people can anonymously opine about the looks or actions of others … It’s where we are in our culture. Yes, it does worry me, for the development of my kids and the next generation, that people can be so cruel without experiencing the consequences of being so cruel face to face.”

On celebrities “deserving” it: “Celebrities, we’ve always gotten stones thrown at us and, you know, for good reason: We’re annoying. Some of us look okay, we look like we have money, our lives seem great. That may or may not be the case … Nevertheless, we get it. Or, at the very least, we expect that it’s part and parcel to what we do. Anyone in any field who has their head rise above a poppy in the field, they get their heads chopped off. It’s our human nature to feel that way, and to do it. … Everybody takes shit, it’s just the way it is.

You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it’s a very dehumanizing thing. It’s almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it. My hope is, as we get out of it, we’ll reach the next level of conscience.”

So, yeah. A couple of things. Her whole “poppy” reference is of course, a British (mostly Australian) term called “Tall Poppy Syndrome” which basically means we’re all just jealous bitches and want to see her fail. Yes, HER and ONLY her. Don’t you love how Paltrow is talking down to the audience of tech CEOs, all the while not truly understanding what the phrase means?  I DO, however, like her reference of the head-chopping. (See: Se7en) 

I’m glad I chose today to write about The Insufferable One since I already have a pain in my eye-type of headache. But…(say it with me!), THANK GOD THE FISHMONGER DELIVERS! (WARNING: Prepare to have your head explode if you click on the fishmonger link…)

Did Angelina Jolie Slam Gwyneth Paltrow?

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This really makes me squeal like a little girl, you guys. Remember when Paltrow announced her “conscious uncoupling” from Chris Martin? Of course you do. (That idiotic phrase of hers makes me want to yank out a fistful of her hair, by the way.) She then went on to tell the world how hard she has it as a single mom who works as an actress in Hollywood. Really. It’s super, super HARD:

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“It’s much harder for me,” mother-to-two Paltrow, 41, said. “I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening.”

“When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult,” she continued. “I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as… of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.”

This entitled piece of gluten-free white bread.  Seriously? So yesterday, Angelina Jolie was promoting the shit out Maleficent like nobody’s bidness, and gracefully made the following statement:

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“I’m not a single mom with two jobs trying to get by every day,” the Maleficent star said. “I have much more support than most people, most women in this world. And I have the financial means to have a home and health care and food.. “I actually feel that women in my position, when we have all at our disposal to help us, shouldn’t complain,” Jolie, who is worth a reported combined $270 million with Pitt, said. “Consider all the people who really struggle and don’t have the financial means, don’t have the support, and many people are single raising children. That’s hard.”

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HAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Oh, Paltrow. THIS is how it’s done. Dumbass.

Gwyneth Paltrow Named ‘World’s Most Beautiful Woman’ By People Magazine

 

Oddly enough, this is the issue we found in our P.O Boxes!

 

Apparently People magazine is running out of stars to bestow this “honor” to. You see, Gwyneth Paltrow has a new movie coming out, ‘Iron Man 3′ which is why she’s been bombarding us with her off-putting personality more than usual, and the only other reason why the mag thought she would be a good candidate for this. Naturally, the other stars featured in this are more worthy of the title, but don’t have publicists working overtime to quench their client’s thirst.

She doesn’t even try in her interview, spewing the same crap actresses say when they want to be relatable , but this is Goop Poop so she really believes this stuff.

Around the house, I’m in jeans and a T-shirt. I don’t really wear makeup.”  As for her husband, Chris Martin, “He’ll make a joke about it. If I’ve gotten fully dressed up, he’ll be like, ‘Oh, wow! You’re Gwyneth Paltrow!’ Because he’s used to seeing me in like baggy shorts and frizzy hair.” I’m sure, she also threw in this gem about landing the cover, “It’s a very iconic cover in American culture, so it’s just amazing. And I think people feel really happy for you when you say you’re going to be in the issue.”

There’s been much talk about her dietary habits, but I think the real way she stays so thin and “healthy looking” is that her head is stuck so far up her own ass it keeps her from eating. [Cut to DivaJulia laugh-choke-spit-taking sparkling water all over her laptop screen. Not. Even. Kidding.]  Also featured in the ‘World’s Most Beautiful’ issue are Kerry Washington, singer Pink and legendary actress Jane Fonda.

The issue hits newsstands on Friday, but you probably won’t be buying it.