Tag Archives: I don’t do paperwork

Lindsay Lohan has been charged with felony grand theft. Durrrr.

Whaaaa?

I don’t do paperwork” is the newest and BEST excuse evvvvver, and I suggest we all use it from now on.

“Why didn’t you go to the grocery store?” “Why didn’t you clean that hair-covered bathroom?”  “Why didn’t you take the car in for an oil change?”  Say it with me: “I don’t do paperwork“.

via TMZ.com

“Lindsay is accused of stealing a $2,500 necklace from a Venice, CA jewelry store on January 22. Surveillance video from the store shows Lindsay walking out with the necklace, which is partially hidden by other jewelry around Lindsay’s neck.

Prosecutors recommended Lindsay’s bail be set at $20,000. If convicted of felony grand theft, Lindsay faces a maximum of one year in state prison.”

If you’ll recall, Lindsay heard that the cops were on the way to her condo the day she “didn’t do paperwork” and walked out of a Venice Beach jurreee store with their merchandise, then promptly sent one of her people to return that tiny necklace (read: Doesn’t look to be worth even a buck fiddy) and said it was “all a misunderstanding“. I suggest Lindsay should get that and “I don’t do paperwork” tattooed on her wrist and just hold it up the next time there is a “misunderstanding”…because there will be MANY in the years to come.  All she’ll have to do is hold her scrawny hand up for any waiter, hairdresser, limo-driver, liquor store, porn producer–oh you get the idea.

I hear tell Lindsay spent the day yesterday gettin’ her herrrr did and pickin’ out an cute li’l outfit for today’s court date.  I’m sure paperwork was not involved.

Anyone else would’ve spent the day before being charged with felony grand theft crying in the shower til the water ran cold.  Not our Lindsay!