One more thing…Lindsay’s also the “Shankopotomus”.
Lindsay's next lawsuit...
Just sayin'...I think Lindsay probably answers to the name "Shankopotomus" more than her own name.
What the GOTdamnhell is this?
Oh wait. It's SKANKopotomus. My bad.
Lindsay (Milka-Whaaaa?) is Suing E*TRADE
Oh, Lindsay. You Milkaholic, you.
Just because I rarely use Lindsay's surname, doesn't mean everyone else does the same. Just because I totally think the E*TRADE folks totally were referring to Lindsay in their "Milka-whaaa?" commercial, doesn't mean everyone else does.
Lindsay thinks she's right up there with the likes of Cher, Madonna and Oprah...you know, The One-Named Bitches. Her attorney had the gall to say:
"Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit. They used the name Lindsay. They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."
Subliminal?? It was blatant (read: blatantly hilarious). Personally, I think the Milkaholic should at least get royalties. Then the E*TRADE folks should re-shoot the ad with Lindsay in place of that little strawberry blond toddler girl in the black dress. Cha-CHING!
Am I the only one to speak out on Lindsay's behalf?
2010 Oscar Presenters – List and bitchy comments. (Gasp!)
2010 Oscar Presenters
Here's the huge list of Oscar presenters, if y'all are interested:
Pedro Almodovar
Gerard Butler
Jason Bateman
Kathy Bates
Jeff Bridges
Sandra Bullock (Best dress. The End.)
Steve Carell
Bradley Cooper
Penelope Cruz
Miley Cyrus (Oscar Butterface)
Matt Damon (Honk shooooooo)
Cameron Diaz
Robert Downey Jr. (Wearing 3-D glasses)
Zac Efron
Tina Fey
Colin Firth
Tom Ford (SNOOTY McBitchison. But still a hot piece of ass.)
Jake Gyllenhaal (Hey girl!)
Tom Hanks
Samuel L. Jackson
Anna Kendrick
Queen Latifah
Taylor SNOUTNER
Jennifer Lopez (Why is she here??)
Rachel McAdams
Demi Moore
Carey Mulligan
Sarah Jessica Parker
Sean Penn
Tyler Perry (Seacrest called him "TP" to his face on the Red Carpet. 'Tard.)
Chris Pine
Keanu Reeves
Ryan Reynolds
Zoe Saldana (Gorg.)
Amanda Seyfried
Ben Stiller (And the A-Hole Award goes to....)
Quentin Tarantino (needs to button that shirt and tie that tie properly!)
Channing Tatum
Charlize Theron (Dress by FTD Florist)
John Travolta
Sam Worthington
Robin Williams (UGH.)
Kate Winslet
Jennifer Aniston has a fragrance – “Bitter Tears”
Lovely.
The top note is last night's wine and the bottom note is cigarette butts ~ with just a trace of wedgies during desperate vacations in Mexico. Ahhhh. Guess who's working on her own fragrance? I like to think the name of Chiniston's fragrance is "Bitter Tears"...made from her own endless stream of pathetic wailing.
I understand "Bitter Tears" will be available only to overly-tanned, blond-ish 40-something chicks with boarding passes purchased on CheapAir.com to Cancun. In other words, it's quite exclusive.
Johnny Depp’s Baby Mama Wants Him to Quit “The Tourist”; Guess Why!
Oh, boy. Here we go, y'all.
I've been waiting for this "news" (read: made-up gossip). It's being plastered all over the media that Eddie Vedder's Johnny Depp's long-time love and mother of his two children, Vanessa Paradis is mega-jel and flipping out tryin' to get Johnny to quit his day-job. Apparently she's not down with her man makin' sweet pretend love to Johnny's co-star, Angelina Jolie.
via FoxNews:
"In the flick, Jolie plays an Interpol agent who seduces a tourist, played by Depp, in order to flush out a criminal she slept with in the past.
Paradis "found out that there was a real long and intense love scene between (Depp) and Jolie," a source close to the project said.
"He's currently trying to (get out of the movie), but I don't know if he's succeeded. But he's trying and they're talking about replacing him with (Jolie's partner) Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio."
Paradis, Depp's partner of 12 years with whom she has two kids, did not need to look deep into Jolie's past to find reasons to worry.
The puffy-lipped siren and Pitt hooked up after they steamed up the screen in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith."
The 2005 movie was largely credited with busting up Pitt's Tinseltown union with Friends actress Jennifer Aniston.
Years earlier, Jolie got her hooks into Billy Bob Thornton while the "Sling Blade" actor was reportedly engaged to actress Laura Dern."
This all sounds a little ridiculous. Don't you think Vanessa has known about Johnny's new role for a good while? Or is she just now wigging out after seeing how beautiful and ladylike Angie looks now that filming has begun? You gotta admit, Angie's track record for onset romances is scary. I would have said NO, and HELL NO right off the git. But that's just me and my insecure ass.
In honor of Angelina and her "reputation", I give you Joan Jett, boys and girls.
"Bad Reptutation", indeed.
Naomi Campbell Slugs a Limo Driver This Time
Crazy Bitch Naomi Campbell
I wanna see Naomi Campbell rock the orange jumpsuit. This crazy bitch needs to spend some serious time in JAIL. How many times does this make now? And why is this volatile, spoiled nutcase continue to be allowed to be violent toward others? I tell ya what, if you or I were the ones pulling this shit, we'd be in the County lock-up eating a gray bologna sandwich.
via ONTD:
"Cops are hunting for Naomi Campbell after she assaulted her limo driver in Midtown on Tuesday afternoon, police sources said.
Campbell slugged the 27-year-old driver, then ran from the scene at E. 58th St. and Second Ave. just after 1 p.m.
The driver reported the incident to police, who were canvassing the area.
It was just the latest tantrum thrown by the temperamental beauty.
In 2008, she pleaded guilty to assaulting a pair of police officers during a fit at Heathrow Airport.
The previous year, she pleaded guilty to tossing a cell phone at her maid in Manhattan and was sentenced to anger management classes and community service."
I wanna see this bitch in JAAAAAIL. I said that like Sommore from The Queens of Comedy--and if you don't know what I'm talkin' about? Look it UP, Donna!
Today’s Blind Item – $35K for an hour with her Edition
"Do you have $35,000? Well, if you do and have an hour to kill, you can have sex with this former B list television actress who has a B list movie actor for a boyfriend. Well I guess he is B list. He had a chance to make A list but his above the line movies have bombed. Our actress is not even bothering to audition for acting jobs at this point. No one can understand how she maintains her lifestyle without acting. Now you know. Oh, the boyfriend doesn't care because he is just not that into women."
via CDaN
What?? This is insane. IN-bloody-sane. The names I'm hearing tossed about are crazy...this particular couple met during a film they were in together a couple of years ago. She was on TV for awhile, and he co-starred in a huge classic sci-fi franchise. Rumors regarding his sexual preference have been rampant for several years.
Whitney Houston Bombs in Brisbane, Australia
Plug your ears, y'all...
Oh, gurrrl. I don't need to say too much about this...the video speaks for it's daaayum self. Whitney has lost it...her mind AND her voice.
via digtriad.com
"Whitney Houston's first concert in Australia in almost 20 years on Monday night was "dreadful" said some audience in Brisbane.Some fans left before the end of the concert as they were disappointed by the singer's performance.
According to local media, fans complained Houston was miming at the start of the performance.
They also reported she took long breaks in between songs and could not hit the high notes that made her such a sensation during the height of her career.
"It's the worst concert that I've ever been to in my life," said an audience member."
Let's all just enjoy this classic "Mad TV" sketch, shall we? Lord knows Debra Wilson's voice is waaaay better than Whitney's--and it's high-LARE.
Mischa Barton is smoking weed in her convertible Cadillac in Hollywood. Hooker, PLEASE.
Really??? Jesus H.
Allegedly? Would this pseudo-actress, full-time skag actually be photographed bogarting that last bit of her doob? Either she's as dumb as she looks or she's faking it. I vote for the former. Why? Just check out her ride--a vintage convertible Caddy? Oh, that and scrub on the passenger side (thanks, TLC). He's a dealer/pimp if I evah saw one.
OhforpitySAKE, Mischa.
For shame, girl. For shaaaame.
Megan Fox doesn’t trust other women – W Magazine interview.
Classssaaay
Wet jeans, Hidden Thumbs - Ang Lee's new film
Fine, fanboys...More Armani undies. Ya happy now?
In an excerpt from her interview in W Magazine, Megan Fox felt she needed to tell the world that she "doesn't trust other women". Oh. Okaaay.
via WMagazine:
"There are some women you could put in underwear and photograph them, and it looks really classy and it doesn't necessarily provoke a pinup image. But with me it does, immediately, as soon as I'm in underwear. I'm a Vargas girl." the actress, dressed in Giorgio Armani attire and Yurman jewelry on the cover of W magazine, says of her Armani ads.
"I feel intimidated by fashion. I hate doing photo shoots." Fox gained her fame from her work in the blockbuster movie franchise 'Transformers' and says her main weakness when acting is her nerves.
"I have no confidence, and because of that I'm always second-guessing myself." As for the entertainment industry, Fox says she doesn’t have many female friends in Hollywood. “I especially don’t trust girls in this industry, because it’s incredibly competitive, and I’m just not interested,” she said.
Hey, Megan? I just don't think you're what's known as a "girl's girl". You know, one to go shopping with, share very private pieces of your life and also be void of any bitchy jealousy in that very friendship. Would you pick up the phone at 2:00 a.m. (or 2:00 p.m., for that matter) for a girlfriend who has been dumped by her abusive boyfriend--or would you just ask for his number? I have a feeling this chick has NEVER had a true and authentic female friend. I think she may the one who cannot be trusted.
All this "second-guessing" smacks of neediness--which requires MALE positive reinforcement as a temporary salve to mend her sp-called insecurities . Know'msayin'?
Is it just me?
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