Tag Archives: Hold Onto Your MFing Hat

Dipped In Cream Is Getting a Face Lift, Tummy Tuck and Liposuction – Bear With Us?

Woman wearing bandage and lipstick

Image via © Image Source/Corbis


Wow. I’ve taken too long to  alert y’all as to why Dipped in Cream looks weird. We’re just  using a default theme while my tech genius from Boston is whipping us into shape.

Just so you know, I’m technically illiterate. Like, for reals. Navin Johnson (The Jerk) has been the frame of reference of just HOW ridiculously lame I am.

So, yeah. “Things are gonna start happening to me (US) now!”


Seth MacFarlane To Host the 2013 Oscars?

Oh, HEY Guys!

Wow.  Seth MacFarlane hosting the 2013 Oscars?

I don’t know how this will go over with the audience at the Old Fart and Biddy Theater where the Oscars are broadcast in living color on your black and white television set.  I’m assuming the voting members of the Academy (super-old white dudes and their significant others/escorts) tend not to tune into to Stewie and the gang on Family Guy.  Nor have said old whiteys seen Seth’s hit film movie Ted which made a gazillion dollars all over the world.

Seth has released a statement regarding his excitement and mentioned Charlie Sheen:

“It’s truly an overwhelming privilege to be asked to host the Oscars,” MacFarlane said in the release. “My thoughts upon hearing the news were, one, I will do my utmost to live up to the high standards set forth by my predecessors; and two, I hope they don’t find out I hosted the Charlie Sheen roast.”

HA! Listen, I’m the first to admit to a tiny crush on tiny Seth.  Cute and funny go a long way up in here. But he was just okay hosting SNL and relied too heavily on his voices-schtick.  (Of course, if he didn’t “do Stewie” I’d be all mad about that, too…there’s no winning with my fat ass, apparently.)

Gaaah.  Whatever.  What do you all think?  I will say that I never cared much for Billy Crystal, except for when he first started hosting back in the what, 1930’s?  Of course I’d love to see mean, mean, FUNNY-mean Ricky Gervais host the Oscars but that will never happen.  He’s not even doing the Golden Globes again, so we’ve heard.

Stick with this look, Seth. You’ll like the way you look.

Photo: GettyImages

I have one bit of advice for Seth about hosting: Even though you’ve already worn this look, STICK WITH THE WHITE DINNER JACKET.  It draws the eye upwards and makes you appear TALLER. I know of what I speak. I guaran-effing-tee it.