OhforpitySAKE. What is this crap? Just when I was giving Jennifer Lopez all kinds of love about how gorgeous she has been looking, she pulls this hot mess of a get-up. I can’t. (But I will.)
Oddly enough, it isn’t the midriff-baring shirt (but we’ll get to that), it was the trashy white shoes withe ankle bracelet that gets my goat the most. Listen, if you’re rock white pumps, REALLY do it…none of this half-assed (Hugh Jass) $1500 YSL fanciness. I want to see a scuffed-up pair of vinyl pumps that were sold without a box, but held together with a plastic band and purchased from a store that reeks of popcorn and bleach. Show me the marks all over the back of the heels from driving your 2000 Ford Focus (sponsored by!) with the manual transmission. Oh, and the ankle bracelet? Put it on over a pair of Coffee-colored (they were out of “Suntan”) No-Nonsense Extra-Support pantyhose. I’d love to see a big ol’ run in them nylons from that anklet, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble.
Then, pull on a pair of black shorts, and a Britney Spears shirt offered from CostumesSuperCenter.com and you’re set. It comes in all sizes…
Jen, honey? I get that you need to show off your stems for that razor you’re hawking…but Jaaayzus.