Tag Archives: Hair Problems

Beyonce’s Braids – Jane Child Did It Better In 1989

Bey in NYC
Bey in NYC

I have a gotdamn headache already without looking at those heavy-ass braids, y’all. I can barely put my mess into a ponytail without getting a migraine, but sometimes I need the “My Ponytail’s Too Tight Face-Lift that’s MY trademark, so don’t EVEN. You know what I’m talking about though, don’t you.. Pretty sure I need a Lifestyle Lift, but I REALLY want a LaJolla Lift.

Anyway. I STILL don’t know if Jay-Z was in attendance at that particular wedding that sullied ALL of Paris and especially Florence, but I do know Queen Bey stayed HOME and spent 5 days (maybe?) in a chair getting them braids attached to her melon.

Queen of the Long Braids, Jane Child
Queen of the Long Braids, Jane Child

But come ON. We all know who owns the Long Braids Game. Jane Child, circa 1989. (Also? I’m OLD.)

Excuse me while I dance in front of a wall and pound on it with my fists. It’s my signature move.

Is Lady Gaga Going BALD?

Hair Club for Monsters!


She’s at the top of game, but Lady Gaga could be facing a big problem–loosing her hair. The singer has said she is considering “a chemical haircut because my blonde hair is falling out“.  After years of dying her naturally brunette hair suicide blonde, it’s starting to do major damage to her locks. The upside to all of those crazy wigs is that it gives her a chance to let her hair rest. Lady G has also admitted to People magazine that she has a bizarre beauty regime where she goes to bed every night wearing make-up, stating: “That’s not good for your skin, but I’m blessed with good genes.

Well, if Gaga does start to go bald, she can always hide out in her egg. Lady GaGa is reportedly having an ‘egg bed’ installed as part of a $2 million dollar renovation of her New York home.

This house project is GaGa’s new baby. The egg vessel is being made especially for her. She’ll be able to sleep in it, in place of a double bed. She felt so at home in the egg on stage – she spent hours in it meditating and says when she’s in it she feels at peace.

And, you lost me again.