Tag Archives: Guilty Pleasure

The Best and Worst Halloween Treats

Mmmmm…

 

Halloween is this Wednesday, which means October is unfortunately almost over. We have half-priced bags of candy to look forward to, but while the shelves are still stocked with every dentist’s dream, or nightmare, we tell you which goodies to make sure you have on hand and what not to buy unless you want your house to get egged. The best:

FUN SIZE

This is what Halloween is all about, right, tiny versions of everything? Little witches and pirates come knocking at your door for one, two or a handful of fun size candy. These usually got separated by brand or favorites and traded, or hidden away from your parents.

FULL SIZE BARS

What’s the next best thing to a bunch of small bars, how about their older siblings! The best house on the block, and usually the richest, gave these out.

SKITTLES & STARBURST

Mostly everything you got was chocolate, so it was nice to taste the rainbow with Skittles and their fruity cousin Starburst.

THE TOOTSIE ROLL TRIO

Another orange bucket staple was the Tootsie Roll which always came with a yellow box of DOTS and a couple of Tootsie Roll Pops. Nowadays, instead of just the chocolate rolls, you’ll probably get a lot of the flavored ones as well.

POPCORN BALLS

Some people like them, some people don’t, but you were bound to get at least one ACT II popcorn ball. Bonus if it was homemade!

SODA

I don’t personally remember getting full or even cute tiny cans of soda on Halloween, but a lot of people did. And I for am jealous. What goes better with insane amounts of sugar than more sugar?

CHIPS

I do remember getting bags of chips, which were always welcome and gone by November 2. I think this is what Wyclef Jean‘s song was about.

TWIZZLERS

Twizzlers, hell any type of licorice, can be divisive but I’ve always loved these and didn’t mind taking them off my brother who wasn’t that big of a fan.

Now for the worst:

FRUIT

Okay look, it’s Halloween, the one time of year when it’s socially acceptable to let kids overdose on candy. So why do people still give out fruit? You want kids to have something a little healthier, some great alternatives are those pre-packaged apple slices. Otherwise, skip the produce.

CANDY CORN

I don’t hate candy corn, I don’t really love it either, but I never had a problem with it. Candy corn was like Emma Stone to me, but there are tons of people that absolutely loathe it. It’s not really Halloween without it, and you always give it out in other flavors or even in Oreos.

NECCO WAFERS

Seriously, what the f***! These things are terrible, yet somehow they always found their way into my bucket. NOTHING that says “fat free” should be given out on Halloween. Nothing.

BUBBLEGUM

Unlike those Necco wafers, there is nothing inherently evil about bubblegum, but you got so much of it that you never really wanted it. It always seemed to be the chalky original Dubble Bubble instead of the superior grape and watermelon flavors.

PENNIES

I’m not old enough to recall a time when people regularly gave out money as treats, but apparently they did. I do however remember when a family friend gave us dollars one year and I’m pretty sure I used it to buy more candy. I would have been pissed to get pennies, but I guess this was in the “olden days” when you could get a snazzy outfit,  three-course meal and a full tank of gas for like $0.50.

SMARTIES

You’re probably thinking “wait, not Smarties!” Kind of like Twizzlers, people are split on them, but I never really enjoyed them. I just ate them because they were there, like leftover pizza. In Canada, you probably know them as Rockets.

PEANUT BUTTER KISSES aka “THOSE BLACK AND ORANGE THINGS”

Confession: I don’t hate these things. I almost sort of looked forward to them. They were always the last thing left in my plastic pumpkin but they were enough to satisfy a candy craving that wouldn’t be filled until Christmas came around. I don’t think many people even knew what they were called, but they were almost certainly thrown away or reluctantly eaten when everything else was gone. They might still be around, in some dark corner of a dollar store, waiting to be bought by someone who forgot that it’s that time of year when greedy kids invade your neighborhood like fructose addicted zombies. If you do see them, leave ’em be. Just pick up a decent bag of candy and walk away.

Backstreet Boys for Old Navy ‘Rockstar’ Skinny Jeans

Hate all you want; BSB is looking GOOD.

 

Everybaaaah-daaaay…rock your baaah-daaay.” I’m takin’ the stroll down Memory Lane, y’all.  I certainly AM.

Check out Backstreet Boys in the newest Old Navy ad.  (I’m stunned, too, that I’ve mentioned Old Navy twice in one bloody day–the HELL?) ANYcheapskinnyjeansthatIwear. These dudes look pretty gotdamn good.  ALL of them.

Listen, I was Team BSB back in the day (when I was too old even then to like boybands, but that didn’t stop ANY of us) and I own it.  I don’t think you could get all the members of  n*sync together in one room and say the same. Right?

 

And YES. I saw BSB twice in the year 2000. What. OF. It?

Backstreet’s back, ALL RIGHT!

The Kardashians are on the cover of Redbook?

WHAT could be more wholesome?

So the Kardashians are now infiltrating real, live women’s magazines now?  Honestly AND forPITYsake.  You guys, they work super, super hard, mmkay?

via Redbook:

On people’s fascination with them: “We are a real family,” Khloe says. “We don’t sugarcoat anything. We’re not the Brady Bunch, but we always put each other first. We love each other on camera, we cry on camera. I think people relate to the realness of it.”

On living a public life: “There’s nothing I’m really ashamed of, and I work hard on the show and all my other projects,” Kim says. “I don’t drink or do drugs, so I’m comfortable showing the world what my life is all about.”

On the biggest misconceptions about them: “It’s annoying when I hear, ‘What do your girls do?'” says mom Kris. “Well, first of all, all of my daughters have jobs. They are fashion stylists and designers; they own a chain of stores. They had the stores before they had the show. And my kids worked from the time they were 13 years old. So to me, that’s a huge misconception—that the girls don’t work. They work 25 hours a day. And that they don’t have any talent? They might not be singers or dancers, but they certainly know how to produce a television show. Whether you want to call it talent or not, they have multiple shows on the air. [I want to say,] How many shows do you have?”

On family values: “Our joy in life is that we always have each other,” Kris says. “So I’ve tried to teach my kids three things: love God, love your family, and love yourself.”

Confession time.  I’ve been known to watch marathons of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.  But I keep it old skool…I haven’t watched any of the spin-offs.  I have some scruples. Sheesh.