Tag Archives: Getting Away With Murder

Lindsay Lohan “lost” her passport in Cannes. Oh. Uh huh.

Lindsay, living the good life in Cannes. Haaaaay.

So, Linds “lost” her passport while “promoting” the not even green-lit film about pornstar, Linda Lovelace. Oh, wait…or it was “stolen”–much like when she goes nutty on Twitter, then blames a hacker for the crazy-talk the next day.  Honestly.  I am amazed that she was allowed out of the country, but she IS after all, a Celebrity with a Capital C, so the usual rules simply do not apply.

Rumors are all over the place that Drunky McSnortface planned the whole “My Passport Was Stolen” story and that she never intended on appearing in court tomorrow in Los Angeles.  Get a load of THIS crap, via eonline.com

“Her passport was stolen,” attorney Shawn Chapman Holley tells E! News. “She is doing everything in her power to get a temporary passport and get home.”

You know what? At this point, I feel like Lindsay could LITERALLY get away with murder.  I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that the Judge will give her ANOTHER BLOODY CHANCE once she gets her milka-holic ass back to the States.  We all know that if this had been you, me or our kids, we would have already been tossed in the pokey (owwww)–for doing a hell of a lot less than this chick has done.  Take a gander at Lindsay’s record:

via TheStarCeleb:

[…Two] DUI cases on her record. Lindsay’s first drunk driving arrest took place in May 2007, just 36 hours after her interview with Elle Magazine, where she insisted she had quit partying so the paparazzi could not find her driving drunk. Lohan was arrested by the police on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles after a minor car crash, facing charges of misdemeanour hit-and-run. She was also found with BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) of more than 0.08%, which is the allowed legal limit in the state. She was carrying 0.04 gm of cocaine powder in her purse at the time of arrest. Lohan refused to admit that the cocaine belonged to her. She also had two adults in her car at the time of the accident, when she lost control of her vehicle and crashed into a curb on the Sunset Boulevard. Lohan left the scene of the accident in another car to treat minor injuries at the hospital.

Lohan’s second DUI arrest took place in July the same year in Santa Monica, California, when she was arrested driving drunk with three men as passengers in her vehicle, who filed a lawsuit against her; the three men being Ronnie Blake, Jason Sutter and Dante Nigro. The lawsuit claimed that Lohan was angry and aggressive in her driving, causing shock, fear and panic among the passengers in the vehicle. The case however led to Lohan spending only 84 minutes in jail, due to her DUI attorney calling the lawsuit “absurd”, after which she was released.

This second DUI case also involved alleged hijack of a white Denali SUV, which she recklessly chased after another SUV, a black Cadillac Escalade, which was driven by the mother of her personal assistant, carrying two passengers in her car. The mother was afraid and called the police to inform about the chase, to make sure everything was going to be alright. She did not know that it was Lohan chasing her, and she drove into the parking lot of a civic center just a block away from the police department. Her son, Lohan’s personal assistant had quit her job working for Lohan just hours before the chase. The authorities met both women in the parking lot who were engaged in a heated debate, both carrying two passengers with them.

During the second DUI arrest, she was found with 0.02 gm of cocaine in one her pant pockets. This incident occurred less than two weeks after she left a rehab facility, and was her second DUI arrest in less than two months. She failed a field sobriety test and her breath test showed BAC between 0.12% and 0.13% which is much more than the allowed legal limit in the state. Linsday was released after posting $25,000 bail, just hours after her arrest. She was again sent to rehab a third time after her second DUI arrest.

On both the two misdemeanors, Linsday Lohan pleaded guilty as being under the influence of cocaine and with a blood alcohol level of more than 0.08%, which is the legal limit of BAC according to the DUI “per se” laws. On her first DUI arrest, cocaine was found in her Mercedes, which Lohan denied was hers. Her second DUI charge was on the count of reckless driving and the court sentenced her to 3 years probation, 10 days of community service and a drug treatment program. Linsday went to rehab in Sundance, Utah and ended up serving only 84 minutes in jail, due to the jail time being substituted by community service. The alcohol education and treatment program ordered by court was for a period of 18 months.

Linsday has been charged with seven counts altogether, two of them being DUI cases, which include driving with a blood alcohol content (BAC) of 0.08% or more, reckless driving, and arrested for being under the influence of cocaine. However, the police tested the levels of cocaine in her blood to be less than 0.05 gm both times which were considered as being “insufficient amounts” to be counted as felony DUI.”

Jesus H.  Drunk driving, cocaine possession, hit and run, non-compliance with alcohol education classes (she apparently has a PhD in this field)…and all of a sudden she “can’t find” her passport.  Party-whaaaa? Pants-on-fire-whaaaa?

Awesome. Falling down drunk--while on probation.

When Lindsay stabs an ex-girl/boyfriend in a drunken rage at some club in L.A., I will blame this all on Los Angeles County Judge Marsha Revel if she doesn’t take appropriate legal action against Lindsay, i.e. JAIL TIME.

Oh, and from now on, the new excuse for ANYTHING is: I LOST MY PASSPORT.

“Hey, how come you didn’t buy peaches at the farmer’s market?”   “Oh. I lost my passport.”