Tag Archives: Fake it if you have to

Kim Kardashian Filing For Divorce Today?

Just kidding!!!

Ugh. This really does come from the category, I Swore I’d Never Talk About, but TMZ.com is reporting that Kim Kardashian is filing for divorce from her giant caveman NBA doofus player, Kris Humphries.

via TMZ.com:

“Kim Kardashian will file for divorce this morning, after 72 days of not-so-wedded bliss to Kris Humphries … TMZ has learned.

 We’re told even though the marriage was short, she will not seek an annulment. It’s a garden variety divorce, in which Kim cites “irreconcilable differences.”

 We’re told the date of separation is listed as today, Oct. 31, 2011.

 Kim has hired disso-queen Laura Wasser, who has repped the likes of Britney Spears, Maria Shriver, Angelina Jolie, Ryan Reynolds, and Robyn Gibson, Mel’s almost ex-wife.

 As we first reported, the couple has a prenuptial agreement … Kim made sure of that.”

I suppose the fine folks at E! (*coughRYANSEACRESTcough*) knew exactly what they were doing when they PAID FOR THE ENTIRE EVENT for ratings…and expect even more ratings for the impending divorce.  UGH.

Now we’re hearing sister Kourtney and wannabe Patrick Bateman, Scott Disick might be engaged. Hey! Even MORE revenue for E!, right?  Not in THIS house.  I quit this mess years ago.  I think alla y’all should, too. This needs to stop.


Wannabe Bateman and the REAL Patrick Bateman

Oh, one more thing about Scott Disick. I find Patrick Bateman  FAR more appealing than that dolt, Dipsh*t, agreed?

Hey, Kimmy? Be a decent human being and return the wedding gifts, but keep the ring. Hell, Elizabeth Taylor always kept her rings–but bear in mind, YOU are no Dame Elizabeth.

People’s Choice Awards – Let’s talk about Kristen Stewart’s behavior, shall we?

The "Twilight" Trifecta

Oddly enough, I have a very, very low embarrassment threshold.  If I see someone behaving in a completely inappropriate manner, or just plain awkwardness, I can’t bear to watch.  Case in point:  Kristen Stewart’s absolutely cringe-worthy, inelegant clumsiness during last night’s People Choice Awards on CBS.

Take a good look, if you missed it–then we’ll discuss.

Oh LAWD.  Honey, you’re an ACTRESS.  You can at least pretend to be enjoying your front-row seats.  Face it, if you are seated in the front row, you KNOW you’ve won.  (Granted, I do believe the winners are told ahead of time.  Why else would Johnny Depp show up two years in a row? Come ON.)

Crossed arms after winning an award? Really?

Photos, Video via CBS.com

Kristen’s crossed arms, stressy crossed leg swinging (a` la a Jerry Springer babymama, waiting for DNA results), I just couldn’t bear to look at her.  (I’m a pro at body language, dontcha know.)

Here’s the thing.  We all have a different persona when we leave the house.  We have our professional face, our casual and friendly face, our “please may I have the overdraft charges on my checking account forgiven?”-face at the bank–you get the idea.  I know that with any job, I feel like an actress–totally playing a part, based upon whom I was dealing with at any given time. I still several “personalities” for whatever situation I find myself faced with–did I just say I have multiple personalities?  Whatevs.

This is why, for the life of me, I cannot get past Kristen’s amateurish shoe-gazing at these awards shows.  Having said that, she almost seems to have a contradictory presence, with her glitzy, über-short dress and sky-high heels.  It’s as if she’s saying, “DON’T LOOK AT ME…look at me, though…BUT DON’T LOOK AT ME” all at the same time.

Lest we forget, Kristen comes from a show business family and has been acting since she was eight years old.  It’s not as if she was plucked from a small town, and turned into Bella Swan against her will.   Acting is the only life Kristen has known for the better part of her life, forpitysake.

Two words: Taylor Swift.  I know I sometimes make fun of Tay, but I will say she’s always extremely gracious.  How about last night when she congratulated Elton John on becoming a daddy?  Sure, it was rehearsed…big deal.  Taylor’s words were still very sweet and poised.  Taylor and Kristen are only months apart in age, if you weren’t aware.

I’m beginning to feel that Kristen is generally lacking in manners.  She should really be used to the routine by now.  I’d be happy to have a chat with her about how to behave in public.