Tag Archives: Elegant Horror = HANNIBAL

‘Hannibal’ Recap: ‘Hassun’




We start off with Will dreaming that he’s being electrocuted (shimmy, shimmy) by an alternate version of himself because, you know, what other sorts of dreams are you supposed to have before you’re put on trail for a homicidal spree? One does wonder if this dream has to do with Will thinking he’s his own worst enemy though. Hmm. Well, as usual, the tone is set for this episode of “To Catch A Cannibal” within the first 30 seconds. Isn’t it nice to know that you can depend on things like this?!

But we interrupt your regularly scheduled titillation with…more titillation; Hannibal and Will are, independently, getting spiffy for court in their respective “abodes” and it’s pants-melting hot! Hellooooooooo, sartorial porn! I’m gonna bless ya’ll with gifs because we’re friends like that and because friends should suffer pangs of sexual frustration together. Also, I wanna look that suave when I do up my tie. *sigh*


hannibal button down

will button down


Even Hettienne Park and Bryan Fuller, themselves, caught a fit of the vapors:

HetBry tweet


So the trial begins with the prosecution describing the kind of killer they believe Will to be when they’re actually describing who Hannibal is. Photographic memory, cued into human condition, smartest person in the room, etc. Hannibal smirks like the little shit-eater we all know and love. Kade Prurnell continues to be a nasty git. Jack gets on the stand as a witness for the prosecution, only to throw himself under the bus for Will’s benefit, coming to his defense. Kade is not amused. “I put those check and balances in place, then ignored them.” Hannibal continues to smirk. HOW DOES NO ONE SEE THIS?!

Will’s lawyer, Leonard Brower (Shawn Doyle), tries to soothe him by telling him how to beat the system. Will is such an innocent puppy that he looks ill at the thought of somehow performing/using his pretty face to get out of the slammer. Yes, his lawyer called him “pretty” and we all know he’s not wrong! In the midst of the discussion, said lawyer is delivered a small package that ends up containing a human ear. Another one! Just not courtesy of Will’s GI tract. “I think I got your mail.” Oh, Brower-bro, you are so self-possessed and can stay. Hurray for matched luggage though, yes?!

Jack hits up Hannibal’s office for tea time drinks and admits that his courtroom confession makes him feel like a decent human again. Hannibal, in essence, is like: “Can you slow your roll and stop resolving the things I so enjoy torturing you with? You will ruin everything!” It ain’t easy being a cannibal. And then Bella’s cancer is brought up and I’m pretty sure the entire fandom nope’d the fuck out at that point. Seriously. There was some genuine shirt rending on my part because, omg, BELLA. BELLA AND JACK. WHO WANTS TO TAKE HER BACK TO ITALY SO SHE CAN DIE THERE. I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT. The ear was easier to deal with than this. Bry says we’ll actually see her aka Gina Torres next week and I just…somebody hold me. *Since writing this, a promotional still of Bella and Jack has been released and ALL THE TEARS, guys. Brace yourselves, feels are coming. 


jack bella cry


Back at the lab, Team Sassy Science confer with Jack and Hannibal over the new arrival to their body part farm. Hannibal is confused because he KNOWS it wasn’t him… Is someone else courting his bae?! Rude! While conjugal visiting Will, he tells him it wouldn’t occur to him to send Will an ear though we’re all pretty sure he’s filing that away for later a la Miriam Lass’ arm. One slighted cannibal, coming up! Really, though, Hannibal is simultaneously miffed and approving at this ear business which is something that continues throughout the episode. But we’ll get to that.

Freddie Lounds has been called to the stand for the prosecution when the trial reconvenes and, in typical fashion, she overacts and tries to paint Will as a monster. Meaning she straight up lies! Thankfully, Will’s lawyer is on it and calls her out for her history of libel settlements. *tsk tsk* Didn’t we already say that Brower could stay? It’s not just his character being a good lawyer for Will that makes him a keeper, he’s also fairly dripping with well-placed snark. Clearly right up the Fannibal alley!


Hannibal - Season 2


Outside Will’s cage, Alana is being prepped for the stand by Brower. “Dr. Bloom, weren’t you and the accused romantically involved?” Awkward! Despite the lawyer’s loud reminder that Alana is “smitten with the accused” (aren’t we all), Will’s eyes are impressively dead in preparation for the answer we all know is necessary for his defense. NO ONE IS HAPPY. THIS SHOW IS SO GRIM RIGHT NOW (HA!). NOT EVEN THE FUCKING TITLE CHARACTER, IN HIS CANNIBALISTIC ELEMENT, IS HAPPY. WE ARE IN DARK DAYS, MY FRIENDS. HUDDLE CLOSE.

Now Team Sassy Science has deduced that the knife used to cut off the new found ear is the same, Will’s, that was used to slice off Abigail’s ear. It was checked out of evidence by a bailiff, Andrew Sykes, and never returned. But it can’t be him, right? Whomever is sending Will love letters behind his *boyfriend’s back can’t possibly be dumb enough to give away his identity that easily. So the gang heads over to Sykes’ home that happens to be rigged with explosives. Big bada boom ensues. They still manage to find Sykes’ mangled body given the “best of Will Graham’s kills” treatment i.e. missing ear, Glasgow smile, mounted on antlers, charred to a crisp, gun shot. Jack runs to the judge and Kade to let them know there’s no way for Will to commit those murders if they were still happening and no evidence other than Abigail’s ear has manifested itself. Nobody wants to hear it.


Hannibal - Season 2


Courtroom drama begins featuring the horrible human being that is Frederick Chilton and his very undeserved pimp cane. YOU CANNOT BUY FABULOUS, CHILTON. Once again, there is description of what Will is that is actually what HANNIBAL is. Womp womp. *cue drawl* “Will Graham is driven by vanity and his own whims.” I’m sorry, have you seen his wardrobe? Not a single touch of swag, Chilton! The scene gives way to a conjugal visit worthy of more than a few whimpers where Hannibal gives Will the case material on his “admirer” so that he can, rightfully, surmise that this killer isn’t Hannibal. For once. AND THE GOLDEN PENDULUM OF BOSSNESS IS BACK, AWWWW, YISSSSS. We see Will, channeling the killer, pick up and toss Sykes onto a stags head and…no, that’s not my new sexuality you sense, what are you talking about. *side eye* He mentions how the murder was personal and how Sykes died believing that him and his murderer were friends. A CLUE, A CLUE!

Anyhoo, Hannibal tries to soothe Will with this new info but Will reminds him that he (Hannibal) still killed the people Will is on trial for. So, no, you’re not off the hook, bb. Hannibal gets emotional and fragile at how Will notices even the tiniest things about him which just makes you guffaw because “Just Cannibal Things”. Then Hannibal starts waxing poetic about how this killer has complemented Will with his actions. Not that Hannibal is completely okay with someone stealing his thunder but, as we’ve mentioned, Will starring in a permanent rendition of ‘Locked Up’ is not what Hannibal intended and this mystery killer is helping take the heat off both of them. Hannibal is nothing if not resourceful.


conjugal visit 1

conjugal visit 2

                    “I want you to believe in the best of me. Just as I believe in the best of you.”

                                 “I don’t want you to be here.”…“I don’t want me to be here.”

                      “This killer wrote you a poem. Are you going to let his love go to waste?”


Yeah, I can’t even with this scene, for real. *popcorn.gif*

And now it’s time for some Willana because we’re worth it! Will and Brower enlighten Alana that they’re going with Hannibal’s idea of using this new string of murders as Will’s defense. SO THEY’RE PUTTING HANNIBAL ON THE STAND INSTEAD OF ALANA. FEIWAOGNW;OAGIAO;GAWG As one could imagine, this goes swimmingly. Not. During testimony, Hannibal reveals the new murder and his belief that it confirms Will’s innocence. The prosecution shuts him down and the judge decides to strike the testimony from the record. In the words of Julia Roberts in ‘Pretty Woman’, “Big mistake! Huge!” Hannibal is suitably put out while the “Ballad of the Sad Cannibal” rides again, may it never go away!

Then we’re back in a the courtroom where a janitor has discovered the artfully displayed body of the now deceased judge. Welp! That was quick! Call me crazy, but I’m near certain most Fannibals have their favorite death tableau. Mine has been the cello dude, courtesy of Tobias Budge, in season one. This judge being made into the literal representation of justice has taken it’s place though. Absolutely, grotesquely gorgeous. “Not only is justice blind, it’s mindless and heartless.” Of course, this now throws the entire case into a tailspin with a mistrial as the result. “It’ll be like the case never happened.” Kade chokes down bile at the sight to remind Jack that, sometimes, you have to leave people behind. In this case, she means Will.


Hannibal - Season 2


Will dreams of the Dire Ravenstag again. It leads him to a sort of locker room and THIS IS ANOTHER CLUE to who this new killer is. Not only because Bry wants to give us hints, but also because this is how Will’s mind works! It constantly collects all this data and then puts it together with little to no effort; his mind is slowly teasing out the killer’s identity and that person uses a locker room at BSHCI. A friend of that bailiff would suggest that it’s another guard.

Alana visits to console Will to no avail. He tells her that he had the absurd feeling that, whoever the killer is, “he walked out of that courtroom with me.” Again, signs point to one of the guards. Alana looks terrified as Will informs her about the killer’s desire to know him. *Biblically? J/k* I’m starting to wonder whether Will emits some sort of pheromone that makes him irresistible to serial killers since they all seem to want a bite of the Graham Cracker! Our last vision is one of Alana mournfully confessing that she wants to save Will and them holding hands across the table. UGH! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE LEVELS OF SADNESS WE’VE REACHED? *sniff*




*In case anyone missed it, I ship “Hannigram” and take the continuous piss out of it. <3 Swiggity Swag!

‘Hannibal’ Recap: “Sakizuke”




You gotta love how this show jumps right back into where we left off as if we were still watching a single episode. No “in the interim” here! Episode start places us at the the eye mural with our hapless victim literally tearing himself both apart and apart FROM the other bodies in the “art”. *shudder* It’s, as you may have guessed it, absolutely horrifying! But, you know, welcome to this week’s ‘Hannibal’? Sadly, after running into a nearby cornfield, an escape is not ACTUALLY attained. You tried, bro, you tried. Who IS the killer? Still a nameless, faceless entity at this point.

Meanwhile, at the “happiest place on earth” aka BSHFCI! Will is being visited by both Alana and Hannibal, simultaneously, and he’s doing his best to prove to them that he’s accepted the fact he’s probably crazy. Exposing his belly, so to speak. The sobs are ugly, epic, and perfect. Heartbreaking. “I need your help!” But then we’re back with him in his cell, alone, where he raises his head and reveals that he was playing his “friends” all along, natch! IT WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT THAT I ALMOST CRIED BECAUSE YOU GO, WILL COCO!


will crying


Hannibal’s office. Bedelia makes a surprise visit and here is where shit starts to hit the fan this episode. Bedelia has come to breakup with Hannibal, professionally. (And trash his lights, shhhh.) “Are you giving me a referral?” is officially the new way to end things, y’all. Piss me off? I’m giving you a referral, just sayin’. Anyhoo, the person!suit begins to slowly slide off as Bedelia makes it obvious she knows Hannibal is darker than she can handle and she’s jumping ship. She reassures him she won’t rat him out but he still stalks her across his office, being the sexy ass predator that he is, to enforce her subconscious fears. *fapping so hard I probably broke a finger, sorry not sorry* “Please don’t come to my home again.” Bedelia smartly knows her days are numbered now and beats a swift retreat, only to have Hannibal gives her the heads up that he’s resuming Will’s therapy. Her response?  That maybe they, he and Will, “deserve each other”. Well…yes, Bedelia. This is what we’ve been trying to tell you. CONJUGAL VISITS!


hannibal stalk


Lab time! Team Sassy Science found the lost child of the corn i.e. our main victim, revealing his name to be Roland Umber (I see what you did there, Bry). Hannibal is back to playing “Will” with them again. A budding…thing is starting to brew between him and Katz and, not that we blame her, but RUN, KATZ, RUN! In her quest to help, she outs the fact that she’s spoken to Will about the case when she mentions the color palette theory in a way that sounds exactly like him. Oops? C’mon, you’re talking to the man (Hannibal) who knows Will best; you can’t hide that speech pattern! Jack, in typical Jack form, shits a couple of kittens before settling down and being like, “I’m just gonna play dumb and let you DO YOUR JOB“. When your job is, ultimately, to catch a killer, aren’t you supposed to do whatever you have to? Exactly. Oh, Jack. Forever sending your minions to their deaths, figuratively and literally.

Then we finally get to see the magic of Hannibal’s nose at work. He takes a whiff of Roland Umber’s body and is mentally transported to the aforementioned corn field. Not that he’ll tell anyone what he discovered because, you know, he’s a dick. But that’s why we love him. *sigh*


jack job


Speaking of conjugal visits…conjugal visit! Will is still playing Hannibal at his own game which, when you think about it, isn’t playing at all. It’s just that, in order to trap his “therapist”, he’s only allowing himself to feel his hurt instead of his anger. None of it is truly contrived. The same for Hannibal’s sympathy! He never meant for Will to be here, remember? So it kinda sucks that his favorite toy is a little out of his reach. *Ballad of the Sad Cannibal plays in the distance* Not to mention that he can’t stop bitching about Will’s “light of friendship” dis! Buck the fuck up, Hanni! You did this to yourself, even if Will is metaphorically allowing you to pet him again. Hannibal reiterates that anything Will THINKS he remember is likely a twisted truth and Will continues to let him think he’s falling for it. Then conversation turns to what Will discovered about the killer due to Katz’s visit. “He’s making a human mural.” The most interesting aspect of this scene is how it quickly grows to mirror Will’s old therapy sessions; soon both him and Hannibal are back to leaning towards each other as if confiding secrets. Which, I guess, is exactly what they’ve always done.


hannibal will mural


Katz visits again and Will manages to blackmail her into disregarding everything she thinks attributes to his guilt, in return for his continued help with the color palette case. Ah, yes, Will is biting back and it’s delicious! He does a bit of his mind palace thing, coming to the conclusion that the victim had a high tolerance for opiates that allowed him to survive the heroine overdose.

“He survived what was done to him. He tore himself free. He ran.” FORESHADOWING! *seal!clapping*

Cue Hannibal in his oh-so-fashionable plastic murder suit, already deep in the corn field. How does that think not sound like me when my ass used to get stuck to my grandmother’s plastic covered couch, I’ll never know. On a mission to discover the killer for himself, Hannibal climbs to the top of a tower and sees the “human mural” in the flesh (lol) with the exact view as intended. It’s then that the actual murderer makes his surprise entrance to Hannibal’s convenience and delight! And what does this smarmy fucker say?! “Hello. I love your work!” TEARS, TEARS OF MIRTH ON THE SIDES OF MY FACE. Don’t throw your plastic panties at him, Hanni!


hello i love your work

hello i love your work2


Now we flash forward to Hannibal looking surprised as he joins the tower crime scene with the FBI. Wait, what? As usual, Hannibal is 10 steps ahead. This scene of discovery is interspersed with Jack’s own therapy session, one in which he FINALLY admits that he pushed Will too far, despite warnings. He’s still going to be a douche about it though, no worries. Back at the lab, the team sees that one of the bodies was Roland Umber’s replacement, even though he doesn’t match him in skin tone at all. Also? Homeboy is missing a leg. GODDAMMIT, HANNIBAL! Suddenly, classical music soars as we witness Hannibal sawing up the killer’s missing leg to make “veal osso buco”. AND IT IS POETRY IN MOTION. THE KIND OF POETRY THAT MAKES YOU REALLY, REALLY HUNGRY. *cries* #Fannibalprobs


hannibal flouring legs


Bedelia visits Jack and tries to drop allllllll the clues at his feet. But Jack is as dense as always so it goes right over his head. He actually tells her that Hannibal could probably help her with her “issues”. *sigh* *SIGH* *BY THE WAY, LET’S TAKE A MOMENT TO KEEP SIGHING, THIS TIME OVER GILLIAN ANDERSON. *_* I burn for your perfection, Gillian. Call me!* Hannibal and Katz pay Will another visit so that it’s mind palace time. “This is my design.” Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Will comes to the inevitable conclusion that Hannibal/The Ripper caught up with the murderer first and later made him part of his own art. His recovery, after accidentally imagining himself sewn into the mural as the killer, is impressive; Will plays dumb about whomever the culprit was as him and Hannibal give each other beady eyes. A pissing contest is mentioned early on in this episode but here is where we actually see some of it.


hannibal bedelia i believe you


Kade Prurnell (Office of the Inspector General in FBI Oversight) tries to convince Will to plead guilty the same way she tried to convince Alana to drop charges against Jack, but it’s bad-ass Bedelia’s visit that set us all collectively on fire. She tells Will that she’s about to go on the lamb but wanted to meet him first as she feels she understands him, a fellow “trauma” survivor. She believes Hannibal felt he acted in Will’s best interest (she must ship Hannigram too) and, in a mimic of Hannibal’s own stalk, while paying tribute to Silence of the Lambs, Bedelia closes in on Will to sexily whisper, “I believe you.” GUH. *melt*

Once again armed with his trusty plastic suit (of love and justice), Hannibal goes to kill Bedelia. We are disappointed, son! But she’s already bounced, leaving a perfume bottle as her only “goodbye” which makes Hannibal smile. Just as in his relationship with Will, the man loves/respects a challenge. Fly like the wind, Bedelia! We’ll miss you. But at least you won’t end up as stew.


bedelia nope


Until next time, Fannibals!  <3

‘Hannibal’ airs Friday nights at 10pm on NBC. Feel free to catch episodes on Hulu and NBC.com.

‘Hannibal’ Season 2 Premiere – “Kaiseki” Recap




*Last season on ‘Hannibal’: We left off with Will being accused of Hannibal’s crimes due to the damning evidence he literally coughed up. Mainly, Abigail’s ear. *gag* Everyone’s favorite cannibal remained out and about, gathering supplies for dinner, and the entire FBI had essentially turned their back on fair Will. Except Alana ‘cuz she’s boss.*

Hello, this is Frenchie reporting live from the battlefield…of our minds! The second season of NBC’s ‘Hannibal’ premiered this Friday night with the episode “Kaiseki” or, as I like to call it, “Cagematch In A Kitchen”. They didn’t pull any punches. That huge knife fight between Hannibal and Jack that kept being featured in previews? Yeah, the reason Bryan Fuller (is our king) was cool with that major cat being out of the bag is because it happens the MINUTE the episode starts, only to go, “aaaaaaand this is how shit got fucked up” i.e. “twelve weeks earlier”. It’s at this point that your nerves are already shot (my body wasn’t ready) and you’re preemptively laughing because you know it’s only going to get worse/better. Ahhhh, ‘Hannibal’, how we’ve missed you.

Hannibal's heaving, bloody bosom, me gusta.
Hannibal’s heaving, bloody bosom, me gusta.

But before we jump ahead, let’s ruminate for a bit on said fight scene. Laurence Fishburne and Mads Mikkelsen not only trained for weeks prior to filming, they also filmed for about 15 hours and did their own stunts. For one scene. That lasted all of three minutes, but, oh. Oh, what a most stimulating collection of minutes it was. *_* It starts in the kitchen which is apropos as that’s Hannibal’s “center of power” and, naturally, he lays the cleverly played smackdown on Jack though they’re fairly worthy opponents, physically. And we actually feel bad for Jack because the inevitability of his death is clearly written on his face. The sentiment isn’t long lasting though as this is Jack Crawford we’re talking about. Anyhoo, yes. Current sexuality: that fight scene.

So where exactly are we 12 weeks earlier? Back at Hanni-boo’s place where he’s staging an elaborate, yet intimate, sushi dinner for himself and Jack. I see that scene mirroring and I approve! Right away, the cannibal jokes are a-flowing as freely as the wine. “I never feel guilty about eating anything.” The fish “was a flounder”. Lawwwwwwwd! Homeboy isn’t even bothering to be half-way subtle now, but the point that’s being made, and continues to be made throughout this premiere, is that Hannibal Lecter could wear a goddamned SANDWICH BOARD declaring people as his favorite organic foodstuff, and NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE HIM. It’s not just the evidence against Will that speaks to his likely guilt; it’s just so much easier to think that the person no one could really “get” must be the serial killer, not the social butterfly with the wardrobe full of paisley porn.

The conversation turns to Will Graham, as it’s wont to do, with Jack feeling guilty (as he should) and telling Hannibal that they, too, will be figuratively on trial for Will’s murders. Cue Hanni!smirk! It’s here that Mads proves, once again, why he deserves the title of “King of Microexpressions”. All the slight twitches that Hannibal was keen on suppressing in season one are things he’s now allowing to slide out more often, to the continued obliviousness of everyone else. Which, to be honest, is why he’s doing it. It’s a game! The blinder they are, the more obvious he’ll be; this is his version of Garret Jacob Hobbs’ “See?!” because he knows they don’t.


Next scene finds us at the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane with Will doing his best “Jack in the Box” impression while lost in his mind palace and Chilton continuing to be the classless asshole that he is. WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE, DUDE?! WHY? “You’re my patient now, Will.” *insert imagined maniacal laughter here* Uggggggggggh. Will isn’t having it and is all, “I want to talk to Dr. Lecter”. Wait. Are you requesting a conjugal visit or another therapist, Will? That’s the burning question here. It’s funny to see both he and Hannibal in such odd places right now. Hannibal only framed Will to take the heat off himself, not out of malice (still a dick move) and Will is stuck with hating Hannibal’s betrayal while knowing the man is the only person to truly understand how his mind works. Dammit, why must everything about this dynamic hurt so good?!

Back at FBI headquarters, Alana Bloom has reported the fuck out of Jack, only to be told that it would be in everyone’s best interest to recant her story. (Hey, look, it’s Cynthia Nixon!) Jack is only to happy to go along with the idea. Lol, no. Remember that pity party we were throwing in Jack’s honor? NOT ANYMORE, BITCH! Alana is the only one who gets points for actively caring about and trying to help her friend. If it means throwing Jack under the bus? So be it. Then we flash over to the Creek of Suspicious Horror where bodies start bobbing to the surface like the proverbial apples. Dun dun dun! We certainly know THAT wasn’t Will, don’t we, Jack?

Speaking of requests for conjugal visits vs. therapy sessions! Hannibal is paying Bedelia Du Maurier a timely visit to expound on how much he misses Will and that, since his boo has requested a visit, he should totally go, right? Right?! Bedelia remains in permanent “bitch, please” mode and calls Hannibal out for being “obsessed with Will Graham” as if she JUST got the memo.


“I’m intrigued.”


Next we find ourselves back at BSHFCI for, you guessed it, conjugal visit time at the happiest place on earth. Will tells Hannibal that his inner voices now sound cultured and sexy like Hannibal instead of his own and it’s freaking him out. Hannibal parries by basically telling Will that “friends” tend to lose some of their individuality in each other, they blur. This, to which Will lays out the most acid of burns: “The light from friendship won’t reach us for a million years, that’s how far away from friendship we are.” OHHHHHHHHHH, SNAP. Aloe, bro, start investing in it now! Hannibal continues to try and convince his favorite puppy that he (Will) really IS a killer, despite essentially outing himself to Will during last season’s final kitchen scene. Remember that whole “come to the darkside” speech? Yeah. But Will throws down the gauntlet and lets Hannibal know that he will eventually remember what Lecter did to him, and when he does, “there will be a reckoning.” In typical fashion, Hannibal is taking this warning as foreplay.


Beverly Katz and Hannibal have a small heart to heart while she takes DNA samples from him, as a formality, to rule him out as a suspect. She excuses him for failing Will since they all failed did. Then she christens him “the new Will Graham” and succeeds in making Hannibal the happiest cannibal ever! Apparently, she’s on to something because, when he does start to act and be treated as such during this newest case? We’re all suddenly clued into how much he wanted to be Will as much as he wanted Will to be him (Hannibal). Oh, Hanni, your issues are many, varied, and only BEGIN with your penchant for long pig.

Back at ye olde River of Corpses, “the new Will Graham” struts up to muffled rap music. Okay, he doesn’t, but he does! He’s officially the wolf lying down with the sheep, doing Jack the solid of taking up Will’s abandoned reigns. It seems the bodies drawn from the water were in a state of semi-preservation; whomever was killing them, was trying to make “models” and tossing the rejects. Mmm, tasty. After imparting his wisdom, Hannibal heads back to Bedelia’s office to sign over permission for her to discuss him (as her patient) with the FBI. She is equal parts unamused and highly suspicious. The most obvious thing about this scene is that Bedelia, for all her mysterious knowledge of Hannibal, begins to realize that she’s not as safe from his proclivities as she originally thought. Hannibal gushes about how he got to see through Will’s eyes for a day before making it clear that Bedelia’s scruples aren’t his concern, nor is her continued unscathed existence. Simply put, the monster wearing the person-suit has finally bared its teeth. Pretty sure she shat her pants if the hard swallow she gave is any indication.

“Jack Crawford has no idea what you’re capable of.”
“Neither do you.” WELP.

Finally, we see Alana visit Will. She brings news of the dogs, specifically Winston, who keeps running away to find Will at “home”. C’MON, BRY, THAT IS A LOW BLOW. *sobs* Alana assures Will that, even though he’s a murderer, they’re still bros because his Encephalitis was clearly to blame! It’s a double-edged sword for Will, having a supporter who still thinks he’s guilty. On a hunch, he decides to let her hypnotize him in hopes that he’ll remember how Hannibal framed him, but nothing comes from it other than a really freaky hallucination both he and we could’ve done without. *shudder* Not to mention that douche, Chilton, is listening to the conversation. Too bad the man can survive on his one remaining kidney. Speaking of which…


Hannibal has Chilton over for dinner! Sadly, Chilton is NOT the dinner itself. His presence forces Hannibal to make a vegetarian meal as the man is renally challenged post Abel Gideon and now has to watch his protein intake. HA. Something on that plate is people, Chilton. You just don’t know it. Ever the salacious gossip, Chilton informs Hannibal about Alana’s (non-conjugal) visit to Will resulting in the failed memory recall, how Hannibal is all Will talks about, and how he (Will) believes Hannibal to be a “monster”. “Well, in that case, you’re dining with a psychopathic murderer, Frederick.” *facepalm* No, Frederick, that wasn’t a joke, you buffoon!

Suddenly, we’re on a train. A faceless man lays his hand on a subway pole directly over another man’s. Then he tells him that he has nice skin. They are strangers to each other. 100% NOPE.HELLNO.COM. The guy brushes the creeper off, but ends up kidnapped by said creeper later that evening. This will not end well at all. Cut to the cooking and dosing of heroin that Team Sassy Science (Katz, Price, and Zeller) have just figured out is being pumped into the victims. Like…what? There’s only one man for this motive job and, no, it’s not you, Jack. Behind everyone’s back, Katz visits Will in hopes that he can figure out how the victims are chosen. Naturally, he gets a pretty fair idea (they form a color palette), but the heartbreaking thing here is to see how crestfallen Will is when he realizes that Katz was visiting him for purely professional reasons.

Will is just about to indulge in yet another prison-tastic meal when he gets his first flashback. It’s…not pretty, of course. To be honest, I did a lot of high-pitched squealing/whimpering as we finally learned how Hannibal got Abigail’s ear into Will. The ick factor is there, but the most disturbing part is the psychological aspects of Will having been partially aware of what was happening and Hannibal’s strangely affectionate body language AS HE SHOVED A BLOODY EAR THROUGH A TUBE DOWN INTO HIS “FRIEND’S” ESOPHAGUS. Bad cannibal! This is not how we show admiration! grioenhieao;hieao;haewhioaehae Mind you, I remain a shameless hussy for Hannibal’s ruthlessness. Still…WIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL. Like many a victim of abuse, Will retreats into a fantasy world as a buffer from his reality. It’s a place that Jack intrudes on when he comes seeking more absolution. STAY THE FUCK HOME NEXT TIME, JACK.


The “Ballad of the Sad Cannibal” reconvenes with a shot of Hannibal alone in his office, staring longingly at the empty space Will used to occupy. The world’s smallest violin plays just for him, okay? Flash over to where we learn the fate of train dude and, yup, it’s time to get one’s whimper on again! The poor man is stitched up, alive, to a bunch of dead bodies in order to form a large scale model of the human eye. Living art…for now. We all thought, from the promos, that victims were already dead before they became part of the “ensemble”, right? In the immortal words of Miriam Lass, we were “so wrong” and the abject horror of that is deep.


Aaaaaaand that rounds out this recap! Fairly sure everyone was collectively shuddering by the end of it, thank Jeebus. The quality we continue to get from this show, without lag, is astounding and possibly even better than last season?! It may actually be more beautiful and terrifying which only serves to make you want to cuddle up with it as mingled tears of joy and anguish slide down your cheeks. THANK YOU, SIR. MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?!

‘Hannibal’ airs Friday nights at 10pm on NBC.