Once again, I just don’t believe in love. Just kidding.
I don’t think that anyone was overly upset or shocked by the news of Jessica and Ashlee Simpson’s parents decision to split amicably and file for divorce after 34 years of marriage last month, citing “discord or conflict of personalities.”
The filing came a little over a month after the Simpson patriarch was arrested for driving under the influence in Los Angeles, after he was pulled over and blew a .12 BAC, and just two weeks after putting their family home on the market for $4.4 mil.
The aspect of this story that I find the most entertaining, though, is the report that surfaced Wednesday morning, stating that the divorce filing is actually the result of Joe Simpson’s decision to finally come out to his family, and the 54-year-old’s admission that he is now being kept company by a 20-year-old “boy toy”. Ooh-la-la. Discord or conflict of personalities, indeed.
Still seems a better use of his time then watching creepily over his daughters’ ailing careers (okay, Jessica’s BILLIONS hardly define an “ailing” career), and making completely inappropriate and gross comments about their bodies.
There is no bloody way (if I have anything to do with it!) that alla y’all won’t think about that very phrase when hearing Heidi-Fornicate-With-The-Help-Klum’sname from now on. It’s proper and poetic, really. Seal was questioned about his relationship/divorce with the model/Project Runway-snip, and gave a groove-filled remix of a years-old standard:
“Look, boys, this is what happens when two people separate, they move on and that generally means there’s new people in their lives. I don’t expect Heidi to all of a sudden become a nun. But as always, my main priority is the emotional of our children and to be quite honest if there’s going to be somebody in their lives I’d much rather it be a familiar face. The only thing I would’ve preferred is if…um… I didn’t expect any better from him, I would’ve thought Heidi would’ve shown a little bit more class and at least waited until we separated first before deciding to fornicate with the help.”
All I know is that Seal is reported to have a nasty temper, but come ON. Y’all can’t tell me Das Klum isn’t a fiery, schreckliche Frau herself. I’m sure that was part of the dysfunction that inclined these two to renew their wedding vows every single year. Everyyear? That should’ve been a sign right there.
In all seriousness, though. It’s not cool to talk crap about your kids’ mom like that. Seal will learn the hard way on that one.
Six weeks ago Katie Holmes did an interview with Elle magazine which foreshadowed her headline making break up with Tom Cruise. Little did the mag, or even Tom, know that Katie was planning to take charge of her life and make a run for it.
Holmes tells Elle that she is enjoying her 30s, “I definitely feel much more comfortable in my own skin. I feel sexier. I think in my twenties – it’s like you’re trying too hard to figure everything out…I’m starting to come into my own. It’s like a new phase.” It’s now being reported that Katie wanted to get out of Tom’s shadow and revive her career, another thing hinted at in the interview. “He has been Tom Cruise for 30 years,” she says. “I know who I am and where I am and where I want to go, so I want to focus on that.” She is now focused on raising the couple’s daughter Suri and her clothing line Holmes & Yang which she launched with friend Jeanne Yang.
So what we know is that Katie “lied” to Tom right up until she filed for divorce. She bought her own apartment in NYC under the guise of needing more privacy. Decided not to go to Iceland with Tom where he is filming a new movie. Cut herself off from their mutual friends and got a new phone number. Cold, but calculated and commendable.