I am Julia’s Complete Lack of Surprise. (Can one watchFight Club too many times? No. And NO.) SeemsStar Magazine is coming out with a story the we in the celebrity gossip industry — read: “we who fool around on the internet all day long” — have been hearing for a couple of years.
Rumor has it that Lindsay’s mother Dina is pimping her daughter out as an (and I QUOTE) “high class escort” to wealthy “businessmen” from all over the world.
“One of Lindsay’s most high profile clients is the man who is third in line to the throne of Brunei, a small country in Southeast Asia: Prince Haji Abdul Azim.
A billionaire playboy who loves American celebrities, he allegedly paid Lindsay a whopping $100,000 to join him in London for a New Year’s celebration.
And wealthy Spanish-American painter Domingo Zapata reportedly supported the troubled actress for much longer than a holiday.
“Domingo let Lindsay live in his penthouse at the Bowery Hotel in NYC for free and at his L.A. pad at Chateau Marmont [for months],” says one of his confidantes. “They’re both super swanky. No way Lindsay could’ve afforded either of them for such long periods of time on her own.”
I suppose we should all throw the word “ALLEGEDLY” around regarding this story, but really? Is anyone shocked by this mess? I’m being serious.
The internet was abuzz with the din of Lindsay Lohan drama on Wednesday after she and her mother, Dina, got into an early morning domestic dispute. Although, maybe the term “domestic dispute” is a little excessive to describe what seems to be an argument that exploded into chaos, much like all things Lohan-related tend to.
Reports surfaced that after partying all night at the Electric Room, the nightclub located inside the Dream Downtown in NYC (where Lohan was arrested just a few weeks ago for an alleged hit-and-run), shit got a little crazy between the mother/daughter duo in the car ride home. But this time, it wasn’t a lucrative driver recording the shenanigans to send over to TMZ a la Paris Hilton; it was none other than Michael Lohan, notorious media-whore and Lindsay’s father, who documented the conversation for prosperity, which YOU can enjoy right HERE!
In the 3-minute phone recording, Lohan argues with her mother, sounding audibly intoxicated, while being egged on by her father to call the police because she’s clearly being kidnapped.
First, allow me to just say that whoever has the job of transcribing shit like this over at TMZ deserves some sort of an award, because without the subtitles, I wouldn’t have been able to understand a single line of the audio.
Through drunken yelling and garbled by tears, Lindsay rehashes her altercation with her mother to an exasperated father Michael, addressing the fact that she has lent Dina $40k to save her house from foreclosure and that her mother has been calling her names all night, with the fiasco even escalating to physical blows, resulting in Lindsay receiving a gash on her leg and causing damage to her property — a diamond bracelet. A diamond bracelet that Michael seems extremely invested in, I might add.
At one point, a distraught Lohan yells “Dad, she’s on cocaine, she’s like touching her neck and shit.”
Now, as someone who does not fancy themselves a cocaine user, I’m not sure if “touching your neck and shit” is a standard side effect, or enough of a sign to decipher if someone is actually on cocaine, but I do know that this was quite obviously the quote that the media was gonna latch onto and run with. Particularly after Dina Lohan’s disastrous Dr. Phil interview a few weeks ago where she showed up and went on air visibly under the influence of some substance or another, momentarily taking the spotlight off of her train wreck of a daughter.
Putting aside the fact that this entire family is clearly dramatic, batshit insane, and has no problem opening airing all of their dirty laundry in public, I think it’s fair to say that this entire situation was fueled horribly by Michael Lohan. It seems as thought the Lohan patriarch took it upon himself to stir the shit after receiving a phone call from his already riled up and clearly intoxicated daughter, by just egging her on and telling her repeatedly how horrible a person her mother is.
Which, don’t get me wrong — it appears to (ALLEGEDLY!) absolutely true. Dina Lohan does appear to be a pretty terrible human being. The thing is, I’ve had arguments like this with my own mother. That said, my mother doesn’t drink, use recreational drugs OR come partying with me. But yes, we’ve said a lot of horrible shit to one another that neither of us meant, and then have completely forgotten about it the next day. Which, I assume rings true in this whole Lindsay and Dina situation, as well, because just this afternoon pictures surfaced of the duo hugging it out at Dina’s house in Long Island.
Of course, not before the recording managed to make it’s way through the media circuit, accompanied by assorted Michael Lohan comments such as, “Dina is crazy and out of her mind. Both Dina and Lindsay need help.”
All’s well that ends well, I suppose. Luckily for the rest of us, we don’t have anyone documenting our drunken escapades and selling them to the tabloids. Particularly our fathers.
Late Wednesday, in true Lindsay fashion, the actress posted a tweet (while readying herself to fly back to Los Angeles on someone’s private plane?) endorsing something or other, punctuated by a “miss u” to her sister and mother. Which sounds like something I would do, completely over it and resolved, after calling my mother the devil not 24 hours before.
Unless she broke my diamond bracelet. Because then, forget that bitch.