Tag Archives: Derek – Dipped In Cream’s Euro Contributor

Enjoying Bavaria, German Cliches … And Tokio Hotel?

Can't you just FEEL Derek's disapproving side-eye all the way from Germany?

[Editor’s Note: Derek is back, y’all–and he’s now going to be referred to as Eingetaucht in Creme europäischen Beitrag Writier! Enjoy!]

Being in Germany is fantastic!  Be jealous, I know.  The food is great, the sights are beautiful, the people are awesome, and unfortunately,  it stops there.

Tokio Hotel?  This German-born transgender (?) band has thankfully had only a mild reach over the Atlantic before dying in all its glory, circa 2008.  But did you know they are actually famous in Europe?  Well, turns out the lead singer of Tokio Hotel,  Miss Billy Kaulitz finally cut his hair, struck a deal with Saturn (a German electronics store) and he, she, it-questionable, is literally on every single bus stop billboard in this country.  They ARE the Jonas brothers of Germany.  Oy vey!

Ever wonder where American has-beens, once A-list now C-list celebrities end up?  That’s right, you guessed it, Europa!  Guess what trashy sex bandit I found here in Deutschland?  The smell of dirty rocker infused vodka drifted under my nose and right into the face of Alice Cooper.  Standing alongside with our favorite Kaulitz brother doing the same Saturn gig, you’ll find Alice Cooper’s “guy-lined” cracking, wrinkled face is laced with an overly dramatic grimace.

Now I was going to get an actual picture inside Saturn of these horrible ads but I just couldn’t muster up the courage to embarrass myself like that.  Keep in mind that they are famous here in Germany, so that would be like me walking into FYE or Best Buy to take a picture with the life-sized cardboard cut-out of Justin Bieber.

When I asked my boyfriend why Germans are so obsessed with Tokio Hotel,  he responded with a sigh; then directed me to find videos of concerts in Germany to prove Germans in general weren’t on this whole T.H. craze my two second search yielded these results:

It’s really only Scene TWEENS!

Now, I have no clue what they are saying, and don’t really care, but can we discuss why that raccoon wigged girl has a tattoo of Bill’s name on her ass?  She should be embarrassed.  FOR SHAME!  To add another case to the Germans’ defense, there was a Facebook group dedicated to a pretzel having more fans than Tokio Hotel.  FYI Germany: Tweens are still on Myspace, or else that pretzel would have gone down.  You know it, we know it, and the world knows it!  Even though only “teenyboppers” are the real fans of Tokio Hotel, considering this video comes from Wetten Dass, Germany’s number one T.V. show,  I still rest my case that Germany as a whole is OBSESSED.

Side note: Why are teenaged girls obsessed with bad haircuts?  First it was N’sync, then the Jonas Brothers, along came Justin Bieber , Korean band JYJ and now Tokio Hotel.  Anyhoo, all I know is if Tokio Hotel became a permanent staple in mainstream (read: AMERICAN) music I would seriously (and for reals this time) boycott radio and all mainstream media for good.

Liebesgrüße aus Deutschland

Derek, Eingetaucht in Creme europäischen Beitrag Writier