Tag Archives: Cheetah Woods

Elin Nordegren speaks to People Magazine

Elin NORDEGREN on the cover of People Magazine

There is no way there is anything all that titillating in the soft-serve that IS People Magazine’s cover story with Elin Woods Nordegren.  I’d go so far to say that Elin’s “interview” with the mag was laid out in the divorce settlement in terms of what she would reveal.  And guess what?  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Apparently, Elin is only 40 credits away from a degree in psychology.  I call that the definition of irony.

via People.com

“In 19 hours over four visits to her Windermere, Fla., rental home, Nordegren shared never-before-seen personal photographs and opened up to PEOPLE about the emotional roller coaster she’s been on, her life as a mother to Sam, 3, and Charlie, 19 months, and her hopes for the future.

“My immediate plan is for the kids and me to continue to adjust to our new situation. I am going to keep taking classes, but my main focus is to try to give myself time to heal,” she says.

She tells the magazine this was her first – and last – interview, as she intends to remain a private person.”

Late for an "appointment", Tiger?

Tiger Woods, though,  just released a statement when asked about the dissolution of his marriage, saying:

“You don’t go into a marriage looking to get divorced.”

Wow.  Super heartfelt, huh?  He still can’t totally own up to what he did to Elin and the kids by ho-ing around and publicly humiliating them.

Good luck with your game, Tiger.

Tiger and Elin’s divorce is FINAL. (Read: He’s free to be a man-ho and she’s rich.)

Elin, smilin' mean at Tiger. Heh.

Tiger Woods can kiss my fat ass.  Oh wait.  He won’t have time for that, what with writing ENORMOUS checks to Elin and SUCKING at golf.  Man, why can’t Camilo Villegas be a better golfer?  I wanna see that hot piece in tight white (or pink or orange or black or bright green or yellow…okay, I’ll stop) pants.  Not this has-been.  Oh yeah, I said it. HAS-EFFING-BEEN.

The couple has released a statement requesting their “privacy” and shit.

“We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future,” they said in a statement released by Nordegren’s Virginia-based law firm of McGuireWoods. “While we are no longer married, we are the parents of two wonderful children and their happiness has been, and will always be, of paramount importance to both of us.

Once we came to the decision that our marriage was at an end, the primary focus of our amicable discussions has been to ensure their future well-being. The weeks and months ahead will not be easy for them as we adjust to a new family situation, which is why our privacy must be a principal concern.”

Whatever, Tiger.  Elin and the kids?  THEY deserve privacy and will probably GET  it after awhile.  Tiger, though, will have a white-hot spotlight on his ass for a long time.  But not in the way he used to, via his billions  of dollars in endorsements.  Nope.  He’ll be shown losing on the links, photographed on boats with hoes. (Oh, Step Brothers.)

Tiger Woods, y’all.

Tiger Woods – Full statement. Now what? **UPDATE**

Tiger Woods making his long-awaited statement

For those of you who may have been unable to watch Tiger  Woods give his statement this morning, I have obtained the transcript.  Sadly, you do not see the awkward reading, his staged glare at the camera every time he says the words, “I’m sorry”, or hear the choreographed SNIFF after saying, “thank you” at the end of the statement.

via extratv.com

“Good morning, and thank you for joining me.  Many of you in this room are my friends.  Many of you in this room know me.  Many of you have cheered for me or you’ve worked with me or you’ve supported me.

Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me.  I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in.

I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish.  People want to know how I could have done these things to my wife Elin and to my children.  And while I have always tried to be a private person, there are some things I want to say.

Elin and I have started the process of discussing the damage caused by my behavior.  As Elin pointed out to me, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time.  We have a lot to discuss; however, what we say to each other will remain between the two of us.

It’s a mess here on the internet right now, what with all the bloggers (ahem) and Twitterers (okay, I do that, too!).  In a lot of aspects, there is a male – female division with regard to the collective guttural response to Tiger’s statement/apology/bad acting. I think you can guess my take on all this.

I guaran-effing-TEE that Tiger didn’t want to do this press conference (read: NOT a real press conference, for a real one allows questions).  He was stiff and coached.  Every single time he said, “I’m sorry” – he looked directly at the camera. HARD.  Then he had to bring Buddhism into it, along with his educational programs–come ON, dude.

Bottom line:  Cheetah Tiger indicated that he wasn’t sure when he’d go back to playing golf, but that he isn’t ruling out this year.  Big. Fat. Surprise.

This dead horse will be beaten all day by the media.  Yeeesh.