I’m pretty sure you can see or HEAR my eyes rolling all the way back into my skull, right? Kanye West is brilliantly pontificating (read: spouting public dumbassery once again) about how he “is not a celebrity“. Uh…that’s not what I heard. ‘Ye’sREALITY CELEBRITY Baby Mama, Kim Kardashian was Instram-ing up a storm during the Adult Swim Upfront at New York’s Roseland Ballroom Wednesday night.
“I ain’t no muthafuckin celebrity,” Kanye West said halfway through his nearly 90-minute set at the Adult Swim Upfront at New York’s Roseland Ballroom Wednesday night. “There’s one thing about me, I’m a terrible, terrible terrible celebrity. I don’t know if you really know there’s one thing about me but I’m the worst kind of celebrity. All I do is make real music. All I do is sit in the studio and make real shit. And that’s it. And that’s muthafuckin it. That’s muthafuckin it!
So I don’t want no people runnin’ up on me with cameras, trying to like sell pictures and shit to magazines, asking me dumb ass questions, throwin’ me off my focus and shit. Harrasin’ you all muthafuckin day. I ain’t no muthafuckain celebrity.
It’s so funny. Somebody asked me, ‘when you do SNL, are you going to do a skit about the paparazzi and shit. And like humanize yourself?’ I ain’t hear to apologize to no muthafuckas, man. It ain’t about me humanizing myself. At what point did I become un-human where I have to turn myself back? Or maybe I was demonized, or maybe I was treated inhumane and not human in that type of situation. I ain’t no muthafuckin celebrity. I ain’t runnin’ for office. I ain’t kissin’ nobody’s muthafuckin babies. I drop your baby and you muthafuckin sue me and shit. I’m trying to make some music that inspires people to be the best that they can be. And I don’t want nobody else to ask anything of me! Don’t ask nothing else of me.
Muthafuckas chasin you down, about to make you crash and shit. And all they want is for a nigga to laugh and shit. Hell nah, I ain’t doin no muthafuckin ‘SNL’ skits. This is my Goddamn life. This ain’t no muthafuckin joke.”
Dude. Shut UP. What a humorless butthole. Oh, and it most certainly is a “muthafuckin joke”, Yeezy.
While leaving a London hotel with her husband Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta Jones a paparrazo punched her in the chin. Zeta-Jones could be heard shouting, “How dare you punch me!” and, “I want a police officer right now! He punched me in my face.” Douglas came to the defense of his wife grabbing and pushing one photographer while yelling expletives. After the incident, Zeta-Jones could be seen holding a hand to her mouth.
Last September, Catherine was mobbed by cameras at JFK Airport while Michael was still battling cancer. She could be seen crying and saying “I’m tired of this.” Up until that point, she had been having a great day. Catherine Zeta-Jones was honored earlier that day as a Commander of the Order of the British Empire.
Carlos Estevez sent a response to TMZ, the only people who still give a crap about him, continuing to express his butt-hurt towards Chuck Lorre. Check out this idiot’s latest rant toward CBS and Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre:
What does this say about Haim Levine [Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows … I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.
Remember these are my people … not yours…we will continue on together…
This asswipe. Here is someone so aware of the fact that he’s a rich, white male in Hollywood that he almost can’t contain himself and just has to live his life to the douchiest. Now that he’s a full time resident of Mel Gibsonville, I can only hope that it’s completely downhill from here. Yet somehow, he’ll get away with all of this shit because, oh look, he’s not taking himself that seriously. Crackheads usually don’t, because they’re too busy trying to score the cavi and have sex with ugly porn actresses. I mean really, there are a lot of good looking pornstars out there but he’s scraping the bottom of the orgy barrel.
I’m getting off point, but how did he even get this job? He shot Kelly Preston in the arm! I would never hire anyone that randomly shot someone in the arm! So yeah, I put some of the blame on CBS, Warner Bros. and yes, Chuck Lorre, for even hiring this nutjob in the first place.
Charlie’s loving all this attention, because it’s easier to be the f*ck-up he actually is rather than to show up to work on time, raise his kids properly and try to be a decent human being. I’m sure his kids will love all of the comments about how he hated being married to their mothers and really wanted to spend his time with hookers.
So, now all of the crew on the show are out of a job until further notice, as are his costars. Congratulations, A-hole, you’re ruining other people’s lives now!
Just go away Charlie.
[Editor’s Note: I don’t always completely agree with my contributing writers’ posts or opinions; that’s part of the charm of Dipped in Cream. I DO agree 100% with Brittani about Charlie Sheen. I feel like I need to scrape the bottom of my shoe after reading about this mess of a human being.
I’d like to share Charlie Sheen’s rap sheet with everyone, via E!Online, as a reminder of his bad behavior:
• 1990: Sheen accidentally shoots then-fiancée Kelly Preston in the arm. As flesh wounds have a funny way of killing the mood, the engagement is called off shortly thereafter. It’s during this same year that he enters rehab for the first time to treat an alcohol addiction.
• 1995: Two words: Heidi Fleiss. Sheen admits to being a client of the so-called Hollywood Madam, copping to having spent $50,000 for the, um, services of her call girls.
• 1995: Two months after marrying model Donna Peele, Sheen was sued by a UCLA student who claimed he struck her in the head back in 1994 after she refused him sex. The case was settled out of court.
• 1997: Sheen pleads no contest to battery charges brought by former girlfriend, model-actress Brittany Ashland, who claims Sheen threw her onto his kitchen floor and split her lip. He earned a year’s suspended sentence, two years’ probation and a $2,800 fine.
• February and June, 2010: On two separate occasions vehicles were stolen from Sheen’s home and driven off nearby cliffs. It’s unclear if Sheen specifically was targeted, but no suspects were ever found.
•Aug. 2, 2010: Sheen pleads guilty to misdemeanor third-degree assault for his Christmas attack on Mueller. He was ordered to spend 30 days in rehab, undergo domestic abuse counseling and was placed on probation.
• Oct. 26, 2010: Sheen is taken to the hospital after cops are called for a disturbance in his room at New York’s Plaza Hotel. He was with porn star Capri Anderson at the time, who later went public with her story, claiming Sheen got physical with her and that she was forced to hide in a closet. Sheen was hospitalized after the incident, though his rep chalked it up to “an allergic reaction to some medication.” Anderson went on to threaten Sheen with a lawsuit alleging battery and false imprisonment, but no charges were ever filed, and rumors circulated that the duo ended up settling out of court.
• Jan. 14, 2011: While speaking at the Television Critics Association panel, CBS Entertainment President Nina Tassler said the network had “a high level of concern” over Sheen’s recent misbehavior.
• Jan. 27, 2011: After an early morning 911 call is placed, Sheen is transported from his home via ambulance to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Father Martin Sheen and ex-wife Denise Richards rushed to his side, though Sheen was released later the same day. Rumors abounded as the cause of his hospitalization—his hernia, a bender, or some combination of the two being the most repeated culprits—though no official word was given, other than that Sheen was suffering from “severe abdominal pain.” He is due back on the set of Two and a Half Men next week.
• Jan 28, 2011: Well, so much for that back-to-work plan. Sheen again checks into rehab to deal with what ails him. Which, if we’re to go by his behavior, is a lot.