Photos via: FOX
I decided to start recapping Idol from this point because nothing is exciting about the auditions anymore except for Jennifer Lopez‘s outfits and Steven Tyler‘s random outbursts of genius, “I can’t wait to hear 40 people sing the same Adele song for six f***ing hours!” After an exhausting search, and narrowing down the contestants to just 26 it’s time for them to perform and show America what they’re really made of. The thing that still bothers me is that there has to be an even amount of guys and girls. It should be, like those other singing competition shows, the best, regardless of the genitalia.
The contestants got to perform on a fancy new stage and take cameras home with them to show us how boring they all are. Except for you Heejun, you’re cute! Ryan teased about the super secret person the judges were bringing back, but like the show I’ll save that for the end.
First up was Reed Grimm with Maroon 5‘s “Moves Like Jagger.” I didn’t get a snarky tweet from Adam Levine like I was hoping, but we did get some of Reed’s interesting dance moves. He was obviously excited to be out there, but I know DivaJulia and our friend, PopBytes were not impressed! The judges were though, I personally didn’t like the jazz-type arrangement but Reed is a shoe-in for the Top 13!
Adam Brock and the large black woman living inside of him did Aretha Franklin‘s “Think.” Not the most inspired choice but it was okay. Steven thought it was brilliant. I’m not sure Steven was paying attention.
Deandre Brackensick almost made it to this round last year but was cut. He showed off his falsetto, and that fabulous mane of curls, with Earth, Wind and Fire‘s “Reasons.” The crowd and the judges loved it, so expect to see him in the Top 13. I’m not sure if I’m really rooting for him or his hair though. If this doesn’t work out for him, there’s always hair modeling. HAIR!
Colton Dixon is this year’s James Durbin. Bleached, spikey hair? Check! Questionable wardrobe and love of rawk? Check! He started Paramore‘s “Decode” on piano and then takes center stage to sort of squelch his way through this. He should have stayed at the keys. Now the judges weren’t giving any real critiques last night, so they didn’t say anything negative, even if they should have. For someone who has been in the music biz so long and worked with the likes of Mariah Carey (in case y’all didn’t know), Randy really doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. He describes Colton as “indie-alt-rock.” No.
Jeremy Rosado sang Sara Bareilles‘s “Gravity,” and not all that well. I barely remember him from the Hollywood rounds and not sure why he was picked. He kept it low and slow, which Randy especially seemed to like. I think they are more in love with him than his singing.
Aaron Marcellus went with “Never Can Say Goodbye” which was a good choice for him. He interacted with the audience a bit and even got a standing ovation from the three judges. That was a bit much but I can see him in the Top 13. “That run that you did near the end was crazy,” Randy says. Yes, Randy. Yes it was.
Chase Likens. So we didn’t really need a Country guy this year, but we got one. I don’t see it happening for Chase. He’s not good looking enough (yes that matters) and he’s kind of awkward on stage. Which made me realize that male Country singers really don’t do all that much on stage besides well, sing. Steven likened him to Brendan Fraser in The Mummy, which is what you say when you guys aren’t giving real criticism and you just need to say something. I love Steven.
Creighton Fraker. What is with the names of people on these shows? I’m just mad because my name is so boring. Anyways, he sang “True Colors” and I wasn’t feeling it. I mean, eh. JLo thought it was “beautiful” and that he “sang from the heart.” He sang from his nose. Looking forward to him not being in the Top 13.
Phillip Phillips who is apparently just going by Phil for now, performed Phil Collins‘ “In The Air Tonight” and made me forget that he has a stupid name, too. The girls on my timeline were excited to see him so he definitely has the vagina vote. But wait, Randy and Steven didn’t like the “Re-harm of the melody.” Um, what? Randy also likened him to Dave Matthews, because he played guitar? Because he’s white? Oh.
Eben Franckewitz, who should not have been picked over David Leathers, Jr. just saying, sang Adele‘s “Set Fire To The Rain,” because Adele songs need to be sung or played at all times of the day. It wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t that good either. I think the judges wanted to take it easy on him. Steven suggests he listen to some blues records, to what, get high to? “It wasn’t all perfect, but at the end, you brought it home,” Randy says. He’s kind of right on that one.
It was nice to see Heejun Han‘s too-cute mom dancing around in his little featurette. We already like you though, Hee, but mom’s do help. He went with Robbie Williams‘ “Angels” which I think he did a good job with but I have to agree with the judges, he could have chosen something better. I look forward to him being in the Top 13, but not to more puns and plays on his name. Isn’t Linsanity enough?
Joshua Ledet went with Idol alum Jennifer Hudson‘s “You Pulled Me Through.” This was a little too gospel-ish for me, but he did a good job with it. If he gets picked, I expect this is pretty much what we’ll see from him every week. I think I’m prepared. Jennifer loved it so much she wanted to punch him. I took a moment to imagine Jennifer punching a box of shoes, a cupcake, theTV…
Okay, so the judges had a chance to bring back one more dude and they went with Jermaine Jones. I was kind of hoping it would be David Leathers. His last name is Leathers! Jermaine sang “Dance With My Father.” Now, you know Luther is sacred in the House Of Cream, but Jermaine may have secured himself a spot in the Top 13 with this one. The judges stood for him and sang his praises.
Tonight the 13 Girls perform and then Thursday night we find out the results. I’m rooting for Heejun, Phillip and Jermaine. Oh, and Deandre’s hair. The Voice has Cee Lo‘s cat, I think Idol should have his hair just float on stage every night or maybe do backstage interviews.