Tag Archives: BluntCards

Today’s Blind Item – She’s So Annoying She Can’t Keep Her Cushy Jobs Edition


“WHICH entertainment show personality is in danger of losing her cushy five-day-a-week gig because of her annoying attitude? This would be the SECOND job the thin brunette’s lost. In 2009 she was dumped from a hugely popular ABC prime-time position!”

via CDaN

Meh.  This one’s a little obscure, but if you watch that one purely entertainment cable channel now or followed the ABC prime-time show she was fired from since the very beginning, you might get it…

I’m on the Waiting List for a Tiny Giraffe; Are YOU?



Oh. Mah. Gyaaaaaah.  Yes.  It will be mine.  Sokoblovsky Farms, Russia’s Finest and ONLY purveyors of “Petite Lap Giraffes” has created a special waiting list so that you, too, can own one of these treasured babies.

I'm counting the days....

via Sokoblovsky Farms:

Petite Lap Giraffes are very funny animal that require special care. They need lots of love. Hugs and kisses every day. Otherwise they make tears.

If you have children, petite lap giraffes no problem. If child is loud, the giraffe will be shy, but does not bite. PLG’s are very clean. With training they will go in box like cats. Allergies never a problem.

Size: adult is 76 centimeters, baby is 15 centimeters tall. Weight is 4.5kg unless the giraffe is fat cow then 5.44kg

Diet: distilled water and bonsai tree leaves

Health problems: none. They are the best.

Gestation: 420 days

Living conditions: PLG’s love being indoors in filtered air conditioning. If they can listen to music of Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov it is dream.

Grooming: a bubble bath once a week with purified water is all they need.

I’m having a custom marble bath tub made for my little Precious One!

Wait for it…