2010 Oscar Presenters – List and bitchy comments. (Gasp!)
Here's the huge list of Oscar presenters, if y'all are interested:
Pedro Almodovar
Gerard Butler
Jason Bateman
Kathy Bates
Jeff Bridges
Sandra Bullock (Best dress. The End.)
Steve Carell
Bradley Cooper
Penelope Cruz
Miley Cyrus (Oscar Butterface)
Matt Damon (Honk shooooooo)
Cameron Diaz
Robert Downey Jr. (Wearing 3-D glasses)
Zac Efron
Tina Fey
Colin Firth
Tom Ford (SNOOTY McBitchison. But still a hot piece of ass.)
Jake Gyllenhaal (Hey girl!)
Tom Hanks
Samuel L. Jackson
Anna Kendrick
Queen Latifah
Taylor SNOUTNER
Jennifer Lopez (Why is she here??)
Rachel McAdams
Demi Moore
Carey Mulligan
Sarah Jessica Parker
Sean Penn
Tyler Perry (Seacrest called him "TP" to his face on the Red Carpet. 'Tard.)
Chris Pine
Keanu Reeves
Ryan Reynolds
Zoe Saldana (Gorg.)
Amanda Seyfried
Ben Stiller (And the A-Hole Award goes to....)
Quentin Tarantino (needs to button that shirt and tie that tie properly!)
Channing Tatum
Charlize Theron (Dress by FTD Florist)
John Travolta
Sam Worthington
Robin Williams (UGH.)
Kate Winslet
Jennifer Aniston has a fragrance – “Bitter Tears”
The top note is last night's wine and the bottom note is cigarette butts ~ with just a trace of wedgies during desperate vacations in Mexico. Ahhhh. Guess who's working on her own fragrance? I like to think the name of Chiniston's fragrance is "Bitter Tears"...made from her own endless stream of pathetic wailing.
I understand "Bitter Tears" will be available only to overly-tanned, blond-ish 40-something chicks with boarding passes purchased on CheapAir.com to Cancun. In other words, it's quite exclusive.
Whitney Houston Bombs in Brisbane, Australia
Oh, gurrrl. I don't need to say too much about this...the video speaks for it's daaayum self. Whitney has lost it...her mind AND her voice.
via digtriad.com
"Whitney Houston's first concert in Australia in almost 20 years on Monday night was "dreadful" said some audience in Brisbane.Some fans left before the end of the concert as they were disappointed by the singer's performance.
According to local media, fans complained Houston was miming at the start of the performance.
They also reported she took long breaks in between songs and could not hit the high notes that made her such a sensation during the height of her career.
"It's the worst concert that I've ever been to in my life," said an audience member."
Let's all just enjoy this classic "Mad TV" sketch, shall we? Lord knows Debra Wilson's voice is waaaay better than Whitney's--and it's high-LARE.
Tiger Woods – Full statement. Now what? **UPDATE**
For those of you who may have been unable to watch Tiger Woods give his statement this morning, I have obtained the transcript. Sadly, you do not see the awkward reading, his staged glare at the camera every time he says the words, "I'm sorry", or hear the choreographed SNIFF after saying, "thank you" at the end of the statement.
via extratv.com
"Good morning, and thank you for joining me. Many of you in this room are my friends. Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me or you've worked with me or you've supported me.
Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in.
I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish. People want to know how I could have done these things to my wife Elin and to my children. And while I have always tried to be a private person, there are some things I want to say.
Elin and I have started the process of discussing the damage caused by my behavior. As Elin pointed out to me, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time. We have a lot to discuss; however, what we say to each other will remain between the two of us.
But still, I know I have bitterly disappointed all of you. I have made you question who I am and how I could have done the things I did. I am embarrassed that I have put you in this position.For all that I have done, I am so sorry.
I have a lot to atone for, but there is one issue I really want to discuss. Some people have speculated that Elin somehow hurt or attacked me on Thanksgiving night. It angers me that people would fabricate a story like that. Elin never hit me that night or any other night. There has never been an episode of domestic violence in our marriage, ever. Elin has shown enormous grace and poise throughout this ordeal. Elin deserves praise, not blame.
The issue involved here was my repeated irresponsible behavior. I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did is not acceptable, and I am the only person to blame.
I stopped living by the core values that I was taught to believe in. I knew my actions were wrong, but I convinced myself that normal rules didn't apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I thought only about myself. I ran straight through the boundaries that a married couple should live by. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn't have to go far to find them.
I was wrong. I was foolish. I don't get to play by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself. I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife's family, my friends, my foundation, and kids all around the world who admired me.
I've had a lot of time to think about what I've done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It's now up to me to make amends, and that starts by never repeating the mistakes I've made. It's up to me to start living a life of integrity.
I once heard, and I believe it's true, it's not what you achieve in life that matters; it's what you overcome. Achievements on the golf course are only part of setting an example. Character and decency are what really count.
Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.
It's hard to admit that I need help, but I do.
For 45 days from the end of December to early February, I was in inpatient therapy receiving guidance for the issues I'm facing. I have a long way to go. But I've taken my first steps in the right direction.
As I proceed, I understand people have questions. I understand the press wants to ask me for the details and the times I was unfaithful. I understand people want to know whether Elin and I will remain together. Please know that as far as I'm concerned, every one of these questions and answers is a matter between Elin and me. These are issues between a husband and a wife.
Some people have made up things that never happened. They said I used performance‑enhancing drugs. This is completely and utterly false. Some have written things about my family. Despite the damage I have done, I still believe it is right to shield my family from the public spotlight. They did not do these things; I did.
I have always tried to maintain a private space for my wife and children. They have been kept separate from my sponsors, my commercial endorsements. When my children were born, we only released photographs so that the paparazzi could not chase them. However, my behavior doesn't make it right for the media to follow my two‑and‑a‑half‑year‑old daughter to school and report the school's location. They staked out my wife and they pursued my mom. Whatever my wrongdoings, for the sake of my family, please leave my wife and kids alone.
I recognize I have brought this on myself, and I know above all I am the one who needs to change. I owe it to my family to become a better person. I owe it to those closest to me to become a better man. That's where my focus will be.
I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. Part of following this path for me is Buddhism, which my mother taught me at a young age. People probably don't realize it, but I was raised a Buddhist, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it in recent years. Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously I lost track of what I was taught.
As I move forward, I will continue to receive help because I've learned that's how people really do change. Starting tomorrow, I will leave for more treatment and more therapy. I would like to thank my friends at Accenture and the players in the field this week for understanding why I'm making these remarks today.
In therapy I've learned the importance of looking at my spiritual life and keeping in balance with my professional life. I need to regain my balance and be centered so I can save the things that are most important to me, my marriage and my children.
That also means relying on others for help. I've learned to seek support from my peers in therapy, and I hope someday to return that support to others who are seeking help. I do plan to return to golf one day, I just don't know when that day will be.
I don't rule out that it will be this year. When I do return, I need to make my behavior more respectful of the game. In recent weeks I have received many thousands of emails, letters and phone calls from people expressing good wishes. To everyone who has reached out to me and my family, thank you. Your encouragement means the world to Elin and me.
I want to thank the PGA TOUR, Commissioner Finchem, and the players for their patience and understanding while I work on my private life. I look forward to seeing my fellow players on the course.
Finally, there are many people in this room, and there are many people at home who believed in me. Today I want to ask for your help. I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again.
Thank you."
It's a mess here on the internet right now, what with all the bloggers (ahem) and Twitterers (okay, I do that, too!). In a lot of aspects, there is a male - female division with regard to the collective guttural response to Tiger's statement/apology/bad acting. I think you can guess my take on all this.
I guaran-effing-TEE that Tiger didn't want to do this press conference (read: NOT a real press conference, for a real one allows questions). He was stiff and coached. Every single time he said, "I'm sorry" - he looked directly at the camera. HARD. Then he had to bring Buddhism into it, along with his educational programs--come ON, dude.
Bottom line: Cheetah Tiger indicated that he wasn't sure when he'd go back to playing golf, but that he isn't ruling out this year. Big. Fat. Surprise.
This dead horse will be beaten all day by the media. Yeeesh.
Happy Birthday, Brandon Boyd (from Incubus, come ON) !
First of all, before anyone else says it, I know. I know Brandon Boyd bears a striking resemblance to my beautiful son Hunter. In face, if George Harrison and Brandon somehow had a child, he would be Hunter. Hunter Brandon Harrison. So there. I get it. What I don't wanna hear are any wise-ass remarks pertaining to some Freudian crap or any Oedipus references. Can't a chick just be happy her baby boy turned into a beauty like her favorite musicians, forpitysake??
ANYlovemyboy, I've posted my favorite Incubus song, and one of my favorite all-time songs by anyone, EVER, "Dig". Take a moment a listen to the words.
Happy Birthday, Brandon Boyd.
Just sayin'.
Anne Hathaway on the cover of British GQ. “Angelina Jolie is a better movie kisser.”
Comparison, y'all...
I'm not a fan of The Hathaway. I find her grating. Completely annoying. And llama-like. (They spit and I totally picture her doing that when she's displeased.) Llama-girl had a some interesting things to say about movie kissing, though, in her interview in British GQ.
via British GQ:
"It's a totally different experience," she said of the forceful movie kiss. "But really you have to be Angelina Jolie to pull that off and still look good. I don't know if you've noticed, but I ain't no Angie."
Ummmm. You can say that again, sister.
I know. Beating a dead horse again. Brad and Angie being hot? Those were the days, man.
Makes me wonder what Angie's up to with Johnny Depp during the current filming of The Tourist.
Oh dear.
Another Lady Gaga Post? Another Baby Post? It’s a Gaga Baby Post!
This is called overkill. Or beating a dead horse, both of which I have a Master's Degree in, so listen up.
Lady Gaga. Baby. Lady Gaga HOLDING said Baby.
Oh, it gets better. Lady Gaga is wearing fairly normal clothing, no make-up and seemingly, there are no bodyguards around...while shopping in Southern California with a friend and his baby. AND THEY WENT TO A DOLLAR STORE!!
Oh, Madonna. This new girl is SUCH a breath of fresh air. Have ya seen her yet?
(Giggle.)
Jaaayzus. Stinkfoot Suri is wearing BOOTS with a sleeveless dress…

Isabella Cruise, her spoiled little sister, and The Step Mother, Katie
For Pete's sake. Earlier in the week, Stinkfoot Suri donned appropriate outerwear--FOR ONCE, but with bare legs and high heels. Now here she is, in a sleeveless frock, wearing Kermit-Green rubber boots (and matching handbag?) with no coat. I KNOW I'm beating the dead Cruise Horse. Y'all should be used to it by now? WHERE is her GD coat????
And why isn't CPS involved?
























