Dipped In Cream
7Mar/100

2010 Oscar Presenters – List and bitchy comments. (Gasp!)

2010 Oscar Presenters

Here's the huge list of Oscar presenters, if y'all are interested:

Pedro Almodovar
Gerard Butler
Jason Bateman
Kathy Bates
Jeff Bridges
Sandra Bullock (Best dress. The End.)
Steve Carell
Bradley Cooper
Penelope Cruz
Miley Cyrus (Oscar Butterface)
Matt Damon (Honk shooooooo)
Cameron Diaz
Robert Downey Jr. (Wearing 3-D glasses)
Zac Efron
Tina Fey
Colin Firth
Tom Ford (SNOOTY McBitchison. But still a hot piece of ass.)
Jake Gyllenhaal (Hey girl!)
Tom Hanks
Samuel L. Jackson
Anna Kendrick
Queen Latifah
Taylor SNOUTNER
Jennifer Lopez (Why is she here??)
Rachel McAdams
Demi Moore
Carey Mulligan
Sarah Jessica Parker
Sean Penn
Tyler Perry (Seacrest called him "TP" to his face on the Red Carpet. 'Tard.)
Chris Pine
Keanu Reeves
Ryan Reynolds
Zoe Saldana (Gorg.)
Amanda Seyfried
Ben Stiller (And the A-Hole Award goes to....)
Quentin Tarantino (needs to button that shirt and tie that tie properly!)
Channing Tatum
Charlize Theron (Dress by FTD Florist)
John Travolta
Sam Worthington
Robin Williams (UGH.)
Kate Winslet

6Mar/104

Jennifer Aniston has a fragrance – “Bitter Tears”

Lovely.

The top note is last night's wine and the bottom note is cigarette butts ~ with just a trace of wedgies during desperate vacations in Mexico. Ahhhh. Guess who's working on her own fragrance? I like to think the name of Chiniston's fragrance is "Bitter Tears"...made from her own endless stream of pathetic wailing.

I understand "Bitter Tears" will be available only to overly-tanned, blond-ish 40-something chicks with boarding passes purchased on CheapAir.com to Cancun. In other words, it's quite exclusive.

23Feb/102

Whitney Houston Bombs in Brisbane, Australia

Plug your ears, y'all...

Oh, gurrrl. I don't need to say too much about this...the video speaks for it's daaayum self. Whitney has lost it...her mind AND her voice.

via digtriad.com

"Whitney Houston's first concert in Australia in almost 20 years on Monday night was "dreadful" said some audience in Brisbane.Some fans left before the end of the concert as they were disappointed by the singer's performance.

According to local media, fans complained Houston was miming at the start of the performance.

They also reported she took long breaks in between songs and could not hit the high notes that made her such a sensation during the height of her career.

"It's the worst concert that I've ever been to in my life," said an audience member."

Let's all just enjoy this classic "Mad TV" sketch, shall we? Lord knows Debra Wilson's voice is waaaay better than Whitney's--and it's high-LARE.

19Feb/103

Tiger Woods – Full statement. Now what? **UPDATE**

Tiger Woods making his long-awaited statement

For those of you who may have been unable to watch Tiger  Woods give his statement this morning, I have obtained the transcript.  Sadly, you do not see the awkward reading, his staged glare at the camera every time he says the words, "I'm sorry", or hear the choreographed SNIFF after saying, "thank you" at the end of the statement.

via extratv.com

"Good morning, and thank you for joining me.  Many of you in this room are my friends.  Many of you in this room know me.  Many of you have cheered for me or you've worked with me or you've supported me.

Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me.  I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in.

I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish.  People want to know how I could have done these things to my wife Elin and to my children.  And while I have always tried to be a private person, there are some things I want to say.

Elin and I have started the process of discussing the damage caused by my behavior.  As Elin pointed out to me, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time.  We have a lot to discuss; however, what we say to each other will remain between the two of us.


It's a mess here on the internet right now, what with all the bloggers (ahem) and Twitterers (okay, I do that, too!).  In a lot of aspects, there is a male - female division with regard to the collective guttural response to Tiger's statement/apology/bad acting. I think you can guess my take on all this.

I guaran-effing-TEE that Tiger didn't want to do this press conference (read: NOT a real press conference, for a real one allows questions).  He was stiff and coached.  Every single time he said, "I'm sorry" - he looked directly at the camera. HARD.  Then he had to bring Buddhism into it, along with his educational programs--come ON, dude.

Bottom line:  Cheetah Tiger indicated that he wasn't sure when he'd go back to playing golf, but that he isn't ruling out this year.  Big. Fat. Surprise.

This dead horse will be beaten all day by the media.  Yeeesh.

15Feb/101

Happy Birthday, Brandon Boyd (from Incubus, come ON) !

Brandon Boyd - 34 today!

Oh, my cutie-pie

First of all, before anyone else says it, I know. I know Brandon Boyd bears a striking resemblance to my beautiful son Hunter.  In face, if George Harrison and Brandon somehow had a child,  he would be Hunter.  Hunter Brandon Harrison.  So there.  I get it.  What I don't wanna hear are any wise-ass remarks pertaining to some Freudian crap or any Oedipus references.  Can't a chick just be happy her baby boy turned into a beauty like her favorite musicians, forpitysake??

ANYlovemyboy,  I've posted my favorite Incubus song, and one of my favorite all-time songs by anyone, EVER, "Dig".  Take a moment a listen to the words.

Happy Birthday, Brandon Boyd.

My Dolly Hunter

Just sayin'.

8Feb/101

Anne Hathaway on the cover of British GQ. “Angelina Jolie is a better movie kisser.”

Anne Hathaway. Too. Much. Photoshop.

Comparison, y'all...

I'm right, huh?

I'm not a fan of  The Hathaway.  I find her grating.  Completely annoying.  And llama-like.   (They spit and I totally picture her doing that when she's displeased.)  Llama-girl had a some interesting things to say about movie kissing, though, in her interview in British GQ.

via British GQ:

"It's a totally different experience," she said of the forceful movie kiss. "But really you have to be Angelina Jolie to pull that off and still look good. I don't know if you've noticed, but I ain't no Angie."

Ummmm. You can say that again, sister.

I know. Beating a dead horse again. Brad and Angie being hot?   Those were the days, man.

Makes me wonder what Angie's up to with Johnny Depp during the current filming of The Tourist.

Oh dear.

7Feb/1010

Another Lady Gaga Post? Another Baby Post? It’s a Gaga Baby Post!

Gaga and a baby!!

Just your average gal. WHAT??

This is called overkill.  Or beating a dead horse, both of which I have a Master's Degree in, so listen up.

Lady Gaga. Baby. Lady Gaga HOLDING said Baby.

Oh, it gets better. Lady Gaga is wearing fairly normal clothing, no make-up and seemingly, there are no bodyguards around...while shopping in Southern California with a friend and his baby. AND THEY WENT TO A DOLLAR STORE!!

Oh, Madonna.  This new girl is SUCH a breath of fresh air.  Have ya seen her yet?

(Giggle.)

23Nov/090

Jaaayzus. Stinkfoot Suri is wearing BOOTS with a sleeveless dress…

91122K2

Isabella Cruise, her spoiled little sister, and The Step Mother, Katie

For Pete's sake. Earlier in the week, Stinkfoot Suri donned appropriate outerwear--FOR ONCE, but with bare legs and high heels. Now here she is, in a sleeveless frock, wearing Kermit-Green rubber boots (and matching handbag?) with no coat. I KNOW I'm beating the dead Cruise Horse.  Y'all should be used to it by now? WHERE is her GD coat????

And why isn't CPS involved?

   

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