It just goes to show you that no matter who you are, what your “status” is, or how beautiful you are, we women are all the same in our insecurities.
I made a point of not writing or showing photos of Demi Moore’s weight-loss right after the scandal of her mentally 17-year old husband, Ashton Kutcher were published with a bunch of young hoochies in a hot tub. I thought it would be cruel to kick a woman who’s already been beaten down.
It’s also been reported (and discussed by Demi herself) that she had quite a brutal and abusive childhood, along with constantly having to move and attend new schools, and now she’s on divorce number three. It’s no wonder she’s got some major issues.
On Body Image: “I have had a love-hate relationship with my body. When I’m at the greatest odds with my body, it’s usually because I feel my body’s betraying me, whether that’s been in the past, struggling with my weight and feeling that I couldn’t eat what I wanted to eat, or that I couldn’t get my body to do what I wanted it to do. I think I sit today in a place of greater acceptance of my body, and that includes not just my weight but all of the things that come with your changing body as you age to now experiencing my body as extremely thin – thin in a way that I never imagined somebody would be saying to me, ‘You’re too thin, and you don’t look good.’”
On Abandonment & The Unknown: “I used to think that what scared me was the idea of being abandoned until someone said to me, ‘Only children can be abandoned. Adults can’t be abandoned because we have a choice. Children don’t have a choice.’ So I started to rethink. ‘Okay, it’s not that. What’s the underlying thread that really scares me?’ I think what scares me is not having the courage to reach my full potential . . . which means that I would allow fear, insecurity, and doubt to rule me and that I would ask for only a little of what is actually there for me. It would mean that I would be settling.
“And so for me, it’s not just about reaching my potential in terms of my career. It goes more to the idea of being whole, of loving oneself. And I think there is no way to reach your fullest potential if you don’t really find the love of yourself. If I were to answer it just kind of bold-faced, I would say what scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not lovable, that I’m not worthy of being loved. That there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.
“And that I wasn’t wanted here in the first place, so the fight against gravity for me is to find that love for myself that gives me the courage to reach my fullest potential, to actually receive this abundance that’s really there. I also think that what scares you goes back to being a kid; what really scares you is not knowing. What scares me the most is not knowing and accepting that just about everything is not in my control. That makes me feel unsafe.”
On Comfort: “I think being comfortable is perhaps overrated. I think a better word than comfortable is accepting. Accepting weaknesses and strengths and being more able to celebrate all of it as a whole package. Well, it indicates an illusion as opposed to the reality, which is that we don’t live in black and white – we live in the gray – and that, as you’re saying, stepping out of the familiar, the known, the comfortable, allows us to become more whole and complete. So to answer the question ‘Have I become more comfortable with myself as a woman?’ I would say that I have in the sense of valuing myself, certainly more than I did when I was a teenager.”
On Her Idea Of Freedom: “Letting go of the outcome. Truly being in the moment. Not reflecting on the past. Not projecting into the future. That’s freedom. Not caring more about what other people think than what you think. That’s freedom. To not be defined by your wounds. Somebody wrote something to me that said, ‘Don’t let your wounds make you become someone you’re not.’ That’s really powerful.”
I feel as though Demi is putting on a brave face for the public, but I imagine her crying on the floor of her shower. I, for one, don’t blame her. Her statements about “children not having a choice” is correct, however, once you’re abused, that “child” inside never really goes away–“she” can have good days, then something reminds her of the past. I’d like to open this subject up for discussion. You can remain anonymous, of course.
I realize Dipped in Cream can, at times, seem bi-polar in content…but I guess that’s just part of our charm. I just write from my heart and about what touches me.
I feel so fortunate–wait, blessed to have my SilverFox husband who holds my fragile heart in his hands. He never waivers in his support if I’m having a bad day; he’s always there. Always.