Tag Archives: America’s Next Top Model

America’s Next Top Model Recap – Guest Tyler Perry

ANTM – College Edition

 

This week on America’s Next Top Model, Tyra came up with some SUPER-batshit ideas and had the contestants do a bunch of weird stuff, and everyone argued with one another. So basically, it was more or less just like every other episode.

Equipped with “special guest” Tyler Perry and his infinite range and knowledge of the acting world, Tyra had the girls complete a challenge in which they were assigned a character and sent out into the public to embrace said character and interact with random people at the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica. This was especially entertaining being the character choices were either a tourist, a rapper, a diva or a street performer. And even more so because Tyra, along with Perry, sat in a undisclosed location and fed lines for the girls to repeat to strangers through an ear piece. (You know, like David Letterman used to do and now Ellen does and acts like she started it when in reality, Steve Allen started the whole bit a million years ago? Yeah. That one.)

Overall, I’d just say it’s a good thing these girls are models and not actresses. Most notable, of course, was Victoria as an erratic diva, stalking up and down the street yelling for everyone to stop looking at her. Perhaps she was playing a little too close to character? Still, nothing was more entertaining than when her persona decided to approach a homeless man, dramatically offering him food whilst screaming “I am a philanthropist!” and he threw it back in her face. I guess he wasn’t as hungry as he looked. Not enough to deal with her crazy bullshit anyway.

We also saw a lot more camera time for a girl named Kristin this week, who came into the competition proudly informing everyone that she’s always been a mean girl and got suspended from high school multiple times for physical violence. What an accomplishment. Luckily for us, as well as the casting agents, Kristin has played true to form and continues to parade around the house yelling at everyone who so much as speaks to her and lamenting about how hard it is to be pretty. Yawn. Kristin has also flat-out stated that her plan to win the competition is to taunt all the other girls until they get angry enough to to hit her so that they’ll just be kicked off. I hope at least one girl falls for her scheme, because I strongly believe that Kristin could benefit from a good beat-down.

Try as I might, I remain underwhelmed by most of the girls this cycle, but fascinated with Victoria. And by fascinated, I mean completely disturbed and intrigued by this chick.  For a minute in last week’s episode, she came across as normal and I toyed with the idea of actually even liking her… until she called her mom on the phone and started sobbing with excitement again. This week, Victoria stayed true to her crazy and didn’t disappoint. When speaking about her best picture win, she mentioned to the other girls that the moment she won, the first thing she thought about was her mother. You know, the one she gets all the emotional support she needs from so she doesn’t think she needs a relationship?

Oh, Allysa

I think one of the other contestants, Allyssa, summed it up best when she said, “Whatever. You miss your mom. You are attached to her dick. If she lets go, she’s going to die. We get it.”  I assume Victoria isn’t planning on letting go of her mother’s dick anytime soon. And similarly, I don’t plan on letting go of hers.

America’s Next Top Model’s Meth Battle

Jael Strauss – Then at 22 and Now at 28
Brad Barket/Getty Images; Dr. Phil

Way back before “smizing” was a thing, I was an America’s Next Top Model superfan. Faithfully tuning in as Tyra and her latest crop of wannabe starlets lined up to be transformed by the Jays.

As the black mother of children the world at large finds racially ambiguous, I was intrigued by Tyra and Co.’s Cycle 8 “big reveal”. Contestant Jael Strauss was biracial. At this point Tyra had traveled the world many times and had no doubt encountered every combination of race and ethnicities possible. Leading me to believe her surprise was the for her TV audience, but I digress.

Jael and her distraught family were recently profiled on the Dr. Phil Show as they tried to get her treatment for meth addiction.  As awful as her damaged face is, let’s hope she is able to save her life and not become the Rodney Harvey for this generation.

Amanda Rae’s America’s Next Top Model Recap! Cycle 19, ‘College Edition’

ANTM – College Edition

 

If you’re like me, and you’ve been riding the train(wreck) that is America’s Next Top Model as it rapidly proceeds downhill, then you already know that this cycle has more than exceeded expectations in that respect. For her latest installment, Tyra has been quarantined to an 8pm slot on Friday nights, which pretty much guarantees that no one with a social life is watching it live.

For the 19th cycle, deemed the “College Edition”, we are introduced to 13 models who have apparently taken a sabbatical from their respective colleges to come onto the show and… represent said colleges. Makes perfect sense. As far as I can tell, the schools are represented only in the fact that they are all constantly outfitted in their university’s clothing and because they’re always yelling about it.

 

Much like every other cycle, you have your quirky hipster girl, your classic mean girl, the girl from the wrong side of the tracks who overcame struggle to get there, the girl with the gap in her teeth that the judges love, even though her peers have mocked it her entire life, the type-A pretty girl who can’t model, the sassy plus model, who can hardly be considered plus, the girl that fights with everyone, etc; but this season, they have really managed to outdo themselves when it comes to the crazy contestant.

Victoria’s CRAY

Victoria Henley, an 18-year-old from Colquitt, Georgia, is what has fascinated me most thus far in this cycle. This girl is definitely teetering right on the edge of batshit insane. Home-schooled by her mother her entire life, Victoria is representing Liberty University—an online Evangelical Christian school. You already know this is going to be good. Victoria’s accent, with her almost robotic annunciation of each and every syllable is enough to make you cock your head to the side. Her huge, unblinking eyes and jaunty, jerking body movements might also do it for you. But if that isn’t enough, there was a very interesting incident during the premiere episode in which Victoria responded to a home viewer who said they found her face boring by staring directly into the camera and telling them if they don’t like her face, that they must be a racist. Did I mention that Victoria is Caucasian?

After that, my side-eye was prudent. But in the follow-up episode, Victoria still managed to top herself. When she told the other girls that she is a virgin and has never had a boyfriend, I wasn’t shocked and I don’t think any of her housemates were either, until she continued on to say that the reason was that she “gets all the satisfaction of a relationship that [she] needs from [her] mom.” Oh. This point was dramatically driven home later in the episode when Victoria placed a call home to her significant mother and broke down screaming in tears of excitement when she answered. Okay then.

When Entertainment Weekly asked judge and creative consultant Johnny Wujek about the cycle 19 contestants and any drama he’s anticipating, he responded,

“Victoria is such an outgoing character, but she could easily snap. She gets so crazy worked up sometimes!”

Sounds like this cycle is only going to get more interesting. And by interesting, I mean, Victoria is probably going to pull a Carrie, kill everyone with telekinesis, and ultimately land on top.