In ‘Sex Tapes I Certainly Wouldn’t Mind Owning on DVD’ news, RadarOnline has been told by sources that there is, allegedly, a homemade coital motion picture starring none other than Emma Stone in existence.
I’m sorry, but the term ‘sex tape’ just doesn’t seem precious enough for the adorable 24-year-old.
It’s always the seemingly innocent ones, AMIRITE? Okay, not necessarily… but in a sea of predictable celebrity sex tapes, this is a shining beacon of light. Paris went with creepy night-vision. Kim was bathed in sepia. Anyone else feel like Emma would be shot multi-camera, in an ethereal Sofia Coppola-like Instagram filter glow?
Okay, I’m getting way ahead of myself.
Unfortunately, the other star of this vivid home movie is not Stone’s current boyfriend and costar in The Amazing Spider-Man costar, 29-year-old Andrew Garfield. The celebrity smut gods would never be that kind to us, let’s be real.
RadarOnline went on to say that the tape has not yet been shopped around or been threatened to be released, and it remains in the possession of the person it was made with.
While the reports may be a bit premature, the more blockbuster films Stone stars in, the more influential her name will be, and the bigger her paychecks will be, thus making the tape even more valuable.
So who could the culprit be? Before taking up with Garfield, Emma dated Kieran Culkin, indie darling and younger brother of Macaulay, and her costar in 2009’s Paper Man. Prior to that relationship, there were reports that she was seeing singer/songwriter Teddy Geiger, who also costarred with her in 2008’s The Rocker. (Anyone else seeing a pattern here?)
While it would be, for lack of a better term, effing awesome to see Emma getting it on with another familiar face, the fact of the matter is that the momentary transgression most likely occurred with a random basic bitch ex-boyfriend who’s bitter and trying to mess with Stone’s career.
However, something tells me that even while busting out X-rated moves, Emma will remain America’s sweetheart.