‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Trailer…Ugh.




It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for! Or, you know, not. The first official trailer for the clusterfuck that will be ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ (aka ‘Fifty Shades Of IDK How To Write Decent BDSM Erotica So I’m Going To Steal Someone Else’s Idea And Write A Crap Version Of It’) – starring Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson – dropped earlier this morning. Woo. If you’re completely unaware of what my alternate title for the book/movie means, allow me to enlighten you.

*cracks the spine of an imaginary storybook* Like a lot of things in fandom these days, this all has to do with fanfiction. Back when FanFiction.net was the only place for central fiction posting, before the site shot themselves in the foot w/the banning of NC-17 fic, anything based on ‘Twilight’ was all the rage. In fact, the only reason I even got into the hot mess that is Twi is because the caliber of fic coming from that fandom was A+. Writers were taking these base, 2D characters and giving them genuine depth, creating worlds so involving that they disgraced the source material.




Tara Sue Me (pen name) wrote the incredible Submissive trilogy, containing ‘The Submissive’‘The Dominant’, and ‘The Training’, excellent titles giving a beautiful view of a true BDSM relationship. Then E.L. James decided to hijack the idea AFTER Tara’s writing got popular, wrote a pathetic version of it that was fairly abusive, and “pulled to publish” before anyone could blink.

It’s amazing to look back and realize that the thievery drama a bunch of us witnessed in real time apparently means diddly squat because a) 99% of the public is clueless about it, and b) the rest don’t give a shit since it’s fanfic which means it’s stolen anyway, right? Wrong. But that’s…a discussion for another time. I’m just trying to let y’all know the real deal and explain why, any time ‘Fifty Shades Of Go Fuck Yourself’ comes up in conversation, my ire is courted. Also, I sigh. A lot.




FYI, Tara Sue Me eventually pulled to publish as well though, of course, she’s now considered to be riding the coattails of James’ ‘Fifty’ fame. As stated in the headline, “UGHHHHHHHHH”. People, people, please. Consider this your wake-up call and READ BETTER WRITTEN EROTICA. If you’ve read ‘Fifty Shades Of Are You Kidding Me’, please read Tara’s Submissive trilogy and experience the difference. And don’t ever fall for thinking that the person who’s doing it loudest did it first or better.

That all being said? Trailer time! Here’s to hoping the film improves upon James’ series because the trailer doesn’t look half bad. Or maybe I’m just being lulled by the Beyonce track? *shrug*  Drool over Jamie Dornan as it’s the least you can do. All the drama aside, I’m likely going to end up seeing this film. Drunk and judgmental, yes, but seeing it all the same. Whether I’ll be paying for it is up for debate.

‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ is slated for release on Valentine’s Day, 2015. 

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