Category Archives: Stinkfoot

Suri Is Learning to Ride a Bike, While Still Being Carried Around Like a Baby At 6

Suri the infant, being carried by Mom.

I doubt there will come a time when I’m not beating this dead horse called “Suri Must Never Walk“.  I do hope alla y’all remember this child is SIX years of age.  Maybe I’d have better upper body strength if I had carried my kids around until they graduated from high school. (And for those of you shouting at the screen that I emotionally lug my adult sons around–SHUTTY.)

Use your BRAKES and quit scuffing your shoes!

Here we have Katie (no longer Kate!) after calling all paps to snap away at Suri’s “normal life” now that they have escaped Tommy Girl’s Co$ clutches.

I’m bored, too.  You’re not the only one.

Stinkfoot Suri Can’t Be Bothered To Walk. That’s All.

That KID!!


That kid is bloody ENORMOUS, is what she is.  Honestly.  I’ve left all of them alone since the announcement of the divorce of the year, but I just can’t with the carrying.  I mean, WHERE is Katie under all that kid?

Really, Katie??

I don’t buy the notion that “oh, Suri’s SCARED!” and thus needs to be carried like a tiny baby.  She’s six bloody years old, high spirited, bossy, used to getting her own way, and dare I say, spoiled rotten. Look. At. Her!!  Here’s Katie lugging that KID around MOMA earlier today.

Remember this photo?  Suri took after some paps last year at the airport.  I’m sure they took their photos and ran like hell.  I would’ve.

Remember this?

It’s not just me, is it? Come ON.

Disapproving head-shake here.

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise Reach An Agreement In Divorce Already

Creepy Tom Cruise


Katie Holmes now has my undying respect for having beaten Tom Cruise and those creepy Scientologists at their own game–if only she could talk about it, but I realize that wouldn’t be in Suri’s best interest.  Can’t you just hear those Scientolo-loons telling Tommy Girl to “MAKE THIS GO AWAY!” ? Oh, David Miscavige.


Holmes’s attorney Jonathan Wolfe confirmed the deal in a statement to PEOPLE:

“The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life.

“This result could not have been achieved without the hard work of my partner Gary Skoloff and our co-counsel Allan Mayefsky, Michael Mosberg and Larry Trachtenberg of Aronson Mayefsky and Sloan and Peter Walzer and Chris Melcher of Walzer & Melcher in California.

“We thank Tom’s counsel for their professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution.

Cruise’s attorney Dennis Wasser separately told PEOPLE, “All the lawyers and the parties are happy that it’s done, the deal was closed and we wish everyone well.”

Tom and Katie issued this little  fluffy statement, which sort of alludes to different “beliefs” between the couple (well, DURRRP).

Katie and Suri in NYC

“We are committed to working together as parents to accomplish what is in our daughter Suri’s best interests. We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other’s commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other’s roles as parents, says the statement from Holmes and Cruise’s reps, Nanci Ryder and Amanda Lundberg respectively.

We will never know what Katie has on Tom in order to get this dissolution matter settled so quickly…but we sure can assume and allege, can’t we?

One more thing, I am biting my tongue til it’s bloody over that photo of Katie and Stinkfoot Suri.  Lord knows any other timeI’d be all OVER the fact that Katie continues to carry that six-year old girl like a newborn baby.  In all seriousness, blood is dripping down my chin; you don’t even KNOW.  Maybe Katie’s worried about the Scientology goons (who are ALLEGEDLY following her every move) will drive up in their infamous SUVs and kidnap her daughter.  Stranger things have happened, right?  I suggest you follow The Village Voice’s in-depth stories about this horrifiying monstrosity called a “church“.