Category Archives: Recidivist

Lindsay Calls The Kettle Black (Read: Dina’s A Thieving Coke Addict)

The internet was abuzz with the din of Lindsay Lohan drama on Wednesday after she and her mother, Dina, got into an early morning domestic dispute. Although, maybe the term “domestic dispute” is a little excessive to describe what seems to be an argument that exploded into chaos, much like all things Lohan-related tend to.
Reports surfaced that after partying all night at the Electric Room, the nightclub located inside the Dream Downtown in NYC (where Lohan was arrested just a few weeks ago for an alleged hit-and-run), shit got a little crazy between the mother/daughter duo in the car ride home. But this time, it wasn’t a lucrative driver recording the shenanigans to send over to TMZ a la Paris Hilton; it was none other than Michael Lohan, notorious media-whore and Lindsay’s father, who documented the conversation for prosperity, which YOU can enjoy right HERE!
In the 3-minute phone recording, Lohan argues with her mother, sounding audibly intoxicated, while being egged on by her father to call the police because she’s clearly being kidnapped.
First, allow me to just say that whoever has the job of transcribing shit like this over at TMZ deserves some sort of an award, because without the subtitles, I wouldn’t have been able to understand a single line of the audio.

Through drunken yelling and garbled by tears, Lindsay rehashes her altercation with her mother to an exasperated father Michael, addressing the fact that she has lent Dina $40k to save her house from foreclosure and that her mother has been calling her names all night, with the fiasco even escalating to physical blows, resulting in Lindsay receiving a gash on her leg and causing damage to her property — a diamond bracelet.  A diamond bracelet that Michael seems extremely invested in, I might add.

At one point, a distraught Lohan yells “Dad, she’s on cocaine, she’s like touching her neck and shit.

Now, as someone who does not fancy themselves a cocaine user, I’m not sure if “touching your neck and shit” is a standard side effect, or enough of a sign to decipher if someone is actually on cocaine, but I do know that this was quite obviously the quote that the media was gonna latch onto and run with. Particularly after Dina Lohan’s disastrous Dr. Phil interview a few weeks ago where she showed up and went on air visibly under the influence of some substance or another, momentarily taking the spotlight off of her train wreck of a daughter.

Putting aside the fact that this entire family is clearly dramatic, batshit insane, and has no problem opening airing all of their dirty laundry in public, I think it’s fair to say that this entire situation was fueled horribly by Michael Lohan. It seems as thought the Lohan patriarch took it upon himself to stir the shit after receiving a phone call from his already riled up and clearly intoxicated daughter, by just egging her on and telling her repeatedly how horrible a person her mother is.

Which, don’t get me wrong — it appears to (ALLEGEDLY!) absolutely true. Dina Lohan does appear to be a pretty terrible human being. The thing is, I’ve had arguments like this with my own mother. That said, my mother doesn’t drink, use recreational drugs OR come partying with me. But yes, we’ve said a lot of horrible shit to one another that neither of us meant, and then have completely forgotten about it the next day. Which, I assume rings true in this whole Lindsay and Dina situation, as well, because just this afternoon pictures surfaced of the duo hugging it out at Dina’s house in Long Island.

Of course, not before the recording managed to make it’s way through the media circuit, accompanied by assorted Michael Lohan comments such as, Dina is crazy and out of her mind. Both Dina and Lindsay need help.

All’s well that ends well, I suppose. Luckily for the rest of us, we don’t have anyone documenting our drunken escapades and selling them to the tabloids. Particularly our fathers.

Late Wednesday, in true Lindsay fashion, the actress posted a tweet (while readying herself to fly back to Los Angeles on someone’s private plane?) endorsing something or other, punctuated by a “miss u” to her sister and mother. Which sounds like something I would do, completely over it and resolved, after calling my mother the devil not 24 hours before.

Unless she broke my diamond bracelet. Because then, forget that bitch.

Amanda Bynes Gets Her BMW Impounded by LAPD

“What? I’m FINE.”

Photo: TMZ

Amanda Bynes had her black BMW impounded early Sunday morning after being pulled over. Police issued a misdemeanor ticket when they ran her license and realized that it was suspended.  Really, LAPD? You needed to run her license to learn this bit of information? I fail to believe that they didn’t literally mumble “Not this bitch again,” while pulling her over.

And can we talk about how complacent and lucid Amanda looks in the photo snapped by TMZ? She doesn’t look at all confused as to what is happening. She doesn’t look embarrassed or guilty. She doesn’t look awkward or crazy or on drugs. However, she does look like she’s thinking about going home to add this ticket to her collection, and then hopping into her Range Rover for another pointless drive.

Amanda Bynes In ANOTHER Fender-Bender AND Caught Smoking Weed In Her Car?


Photo: TMZ

Holy crap.  Lindsay Lohan Amanda Bynes narrowly escaped yet another automobile infraction last night.

via TMZ:

Amanda Bynes came one step closer to disaster Thursday night when she was driving around West Hollywood — on a suspended license — and got into an accident … though, luckily, it was minor.

Amanda was driving her black BMW 5-series out of a parking lot on Sunset Boulevard around 10:30 PM when she tapped the bumper of a white car in front of her, leaving little or no damage.

TMZ has also posted photos of Amanda driving around aimlessly and openly smoking weed in her car.


I don’t think I need to remind you, again, that Amanda’s drivers license has been suspended since last week, and she is currently due in court on misdemeanor hit-and-run charges. Why in the world, then, I beg of you, would she choose to drive around with no destination and hotbox her car, instead of staying safely at home and hitting the pipe like a normal person?

TMZ also noted that as they followed Amanda around for several hours, she was also “cutting off other drivers and violating various traffic laws.”

At this point, I can’t help but curb my snark a little bit, and say that this entire situation is downright terrifying. I don’t want to use the old adage ‘crying out for help‘ but honestly, this girl has lost it. Is it just a flagrant disregard for authority? Where are her friends? Her family? Her agent? (Does she still have one of those?) Why is nobody putting this girl in jail or rehab or asking her what the hell is going on with her or sitting her down and telling her to cut the shit? I am completely bewildered, and I know that everyone else feels the same.

Late yesterday, TMZ updated about Amanda, saying that they’ve been in contact with Los Angeles police offers who say that her recent antics “scare the shit out of [them]” and that they are keeping a close eye on her. Obviously not close enough.

Amanda Bynes is currently 26-years-old, and as morbid as it sounds, the downward spiral of this situation definitely brings thoughts of The 27 Club to mind.