All photos © Francesca Rodriguez
Well, yesterday was the 13th annual ‘No Pants Subway Ride’ here in NYC…and a whole bunch of other places that have caught the pants-less bug in recent years. Me, being the utterly ridiculous person you all know and love, made it my business to be there. Was it my first time at this particular rodeo? Umm. Did we not just establish that I’m ridiculous?! Yesterday made the 3rd time I de-pantsed (shut up, I’m making it a word) on the NYC subway, but I wouldn’t exactly say it was the “charm”.
The NPSR got started 13 years ago by Improv Everywhere who, if you didn’t already know, stage some pretty hilarious and interactive shit. *The MP3 experiment is on my tiny bucket list.* Its inception in NYC is by no means a surprise, but the way it spread around the world like herpes off a hustler? Yeah, just a bit of one, even to the creator, Charlie Todd. This year’s ride took place in over 25 countries which is…WHAT EVEN?! THAT’S BONKERS. Us NYers were about 4,000 strong, taking over the trains in pants-less joy from 7 different meeting points throughout the city, before finally converging at Union Sq. And, no matter how many times I do it, I still get the shakes! But it’s still the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off? Wait. Okay, without taking all your clothes off.
I’m sad to report that my third time didn’t go as smoothly as my previous ones. I tend to participate every other year or so, depending on whether or not I already have plans or if it’s too brick (see: cold enough for frozen nether regions) to bother; if we’d still been in the Polar Vortex, I wouldn’t have even left the house! This means I’ve missed the sharp rise in creepy perverts while I’ve been away. “Rude” doesn’t even begin to describe my awakening!
Suffice it to say that taking stealth shots of women while ZOOMING IN ON THEIR CROTCHES AND BREASTS is poor fucking form. In the words of Charlie Todd, “don’t be a dick”! Unfortunately, there are those who only participate in the NPSR in order to be disgusting gits that ignore the spirit of the ride entirely. But I’m a Latina from the Bronx and you best believe that I will call your ass out. And “men” who insist women should be “nicer” about telling them to sod off?! My rage, let me show you it. Shout out to my fellow pants-less “Joe” who told me he had my back! You were a stranger, but your lack of pants, done the right way, warmed the cockles of my heart.
It’s just underwear, folks. Not even skimpy underwear. Just.underwear. Or, in my case, a swimsuit with a hoodie. If I’m not zooming in on your peen, don’t zoom in on my crotch; we’d both be wearing incredibly less at the beach or, let’s be honest, during a NYC heatwave. However! It is perfectly acceptable to chat up a lady who is pants-less while you, too, are pants-less, in a decent way. Because you’re still PEOPLE, sans pants, and the whole point of this thing is to have FUN, respectfully. Thankfully, most involved remembered this fact which allowed for much hilarity, as expected!
To be fair, out of my three rides, full of THOUSANDS of participants, running across a single creeper is actually an impressive ratio. I continued to make Improv Everywhere proud and that’s what counts. I really hope this sort of thing doesn’t become a prevailing theme though. By the by, did you guys know that me and Ana did the ride together a few years ago?! Moohaha! Now you do! Bear witness to the glory! And, oh, there was MUCH chatting up. *wink*
Did YOU join in on a ride in your area? Tell us!