Category Archives: Random Shit

The 13th Annual ‘No Pants Subway Ride’: No Pants, More Glory

© 2014 Francesca Rodriguez
Step Aside! No pants coming through!


All photos © Francesca Rodriguez

Well, yesterday was the 13th annual ‘No Pants Subway Ride’ here in NYC…and a whole bunch of other places that have caught the pants-less bug in recent years. Me, being the utterly ridiculous person you all know and love, made it my business to be there. Was it my first time at this particular rodeo? Umm. Did we not just establish that I’m ridiculous?! Yesterday made the 3rd time I de-pantsed (shut up, I’m making it a word) on the NYC subway, but I wouldn’t exactly say it was the “charm”.


Team Leader of N Train, Car 1, boom!
Team Leader of N Train, Car 1, boom! Foley Sq. meetup location.


The NPSR got started 13 years ago by Improv Everywhere who, if you didn’t already  know, stage some pretty hilarious and interactive shit. *The MP3 experiment is on my tiny bucket list.* Its inception in NYC is by no means a surprise, but the way it spread around the world like herpes off a hustler? Yeah, just a bit of one, even to the creator, Charlie Todd. This year’s ride took place in over 25 countries which is…WHAT EVEN?! THAT’S BONKERS. Us NYers were about 4,000 strong, taking over the trains in pants-less joy from 7 different meeting points throughout the city, before finally converging at Union Sq. And, no matter how many times I do it, I still get the shakes! But it’s still the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off? Wait. Okay, without taking all your clothes off.


Just another Sunday commute in the Big Apple...
Just another Sunday commute in the Big Apple…


I’m sad to report that my third time didn’t go as smoothly as my previous ones. I tend to participate every other year or so, depending on whether or not I already have plans or if it’s too brick (see: cold enough for frozen nether regions) to bother; if we’d still been in the Polar Vortex, I wouldn’t have even left the house! This means I’ve missed the sharp rise in creepy perverts while I’ve been away. “Rude” doesn’t even begin to describe my awakening!


Gorgeous ladies in BlackMilk Clothing! And some pants-less "Joes"!
Gorgeous ladies in BlackMilk Clothing! And some pants-less “Joes”!


Suffice it to say that taking stealth shots of women while ZOOMING IN ON THEIR CROTCHES AND BREASTS is poor fucking form. In the words of Charlie Todd, “don’t be a dick”! Unfortunately, there are those who only participate in the NPSR in order to be disgusting gits that ignore the spirit of the ride entirely. But I’m a Latina from the Bronx and you best believe that I will call your ass out.  And “men” who insist women should be “nicer” about telling them to sod off?! My rage, let me show you it. Shout out to my fellow pants-less “Joe” who told me he had my back! You were a stranger, but your lack of pants, done the right way, warmed the cockles of my heart. 


And moreeeee! I'm on the left. :-p
And moreeeee! I’m on the left. :-p


It’s just underwear, folks. Not even skimpy underwear. Just.underwear. Or, in my case, a swimsuit with a hoodie. If I’m not zooming in on your peen, don’t zoom in on my crotch; we’d both be wearing incredibly less at the beach or, let’s be honest, during a NYC heatwave. However! It is perfectly acceptable to chat up a lady who is pants-less while you, too, are pants-less, in a decent way. Because you’re still PEOPLE, sans pants, and the whole point of this thing is to have FUN, respectfully. Thankfully, most involved remembered this fact which allowed for much hilarity, as expected!


Union Sq. Note: No one in this shot is wearing pants, I promise you.
Union Sq. Note: No one in this shot is wearing pants, I promise you.


To be fair, out of my three rides, full of THOUSANDS of participants, running across a single creeper is actually an impressive ratio. I continued to make Improv Everywhere proud and that’s what counts. I really hope this sort of thing doesn’t become a prevailing theme though.  By the by, did you guys know that me and Ana did the ride together a few years ago?! Moohaha! Now you do! Bear witness to the glory! And, oh, there was MUCH chatting up. *wink*


Throwback of me and Ana after the 2011 ride.
Throwback of me and Ana after the 2011 ride. In our element, to be honest.


Did YOU join in on a ride in your area? Tell us!

Mayor Bloomberg: $25 Entrance Fee To The Metropolitan Museum Of Art Should Be Mandatory


Speaking of NYC failures, let’s add another to the list! Today is Friday, a day when we should all be figuratively twerking in the office over the fact that (most of us) get the weekend off. A favorite pastime for NYers on the weekend? Why, it’s going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art! I can say that, without a doubt, it is one of my ultimate happy places. Full of peace, beauty, and culture, it’s a haven to so many locals and tourists alike. So why is Mayor Michael Bloomberg, resident dick extraordinaire, trying to ruin that for us?

News broke this morning that Bloomberg “supports” the amendment to the Met’s lease of charging a mandatory $25 entrance fee i.e. he’s already granted them the right to do so. 25 FUCKING DOLLARS. DUDE. ARE YOU SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW? The average citizen can’t afford that for every single museum visits and certainly has no hope of ever seeing everything the museum has to offer without spending around $100, collectively, for multiple visits. And that same amount of money is only slightly more than what a family of four – two parents and two children – would spend in hopes of experiencing something more enriching than just the latest Pixar movie. This is outrageous and insulting yet completely unsurprising. The bottom line is that Bloomberg, a man whose net worth is $31 BILLION (as of September 2013), can’t conceive of how hard it is to shell out $25 for anything, much less a museum visit. Hmm. Food or art, food or art. Such a difficult decision.



The Met currently has a “suggested” entrance fee of the aforementioned $25 for adults, $17 for Seniors (likewise disgusting), and $12 for students. “Suggested” meaning that, if you can’t afford to pay the entire amount, you can still get in by paying either a portion or nothing at all! How many people in this city have been exposed to all manner of evocative art regardless of whether they came from the poorest section of the South Bronx or were a broke college student living off Ramen noodles? There have been many times in my life when all I’ve been able to spare has been a dollar or less. Now that I’m able to give somewhat more, I do. But never have I paid the full suggested price and I’m speaking as someone who, guess what, USED TO WORK AT THE MET. It’s one of the most beautiful and inspiring museums I’ve ever been to and it shouldn’t be restricted solely to duped tourists (a whole ‘nother can of worms) and rich douches like our Mayor.

No one is saying that this place shouldn’t be able to turn a profit. The fact remains, though, that the Met acquires a fair degree of it’s revenue from donations courtesy of people like…oh, hey, look at that. Bloomberg is a patron of the arts! You really can’t make this stuff up. The man has money to burn, donates to the arts (noble until you consider his personality and realize it’s probably for the tax write off), then wants to turn around and essentially decree that only those of his ilk should be allowed to enter this famous New York institution.

Hey, asshole! You’ve already stolen a 3rd term! Can you just STOP now?!


Giovanni Ribisi Marries Model Agyness Deyn? Wait. What?

Giovanni in "The Rum Diaries"
Agness Deyn (fka Laura Hollins--betcha didn't know THAT)


Who knew these two were even a couple? I’ve read nothing about them “kanoodling” or “making out in the elevator” or anything of the sort.  Have you?  I’ve also not seen any grainy photos of them avoiding the paparazzi…not. one. item.

Thanks to my daughter-in-law, Dayna, via Facebook: (“Giovanni Ribisi got married?!! My life is over.”), I just found out that these two oddballs got married.  First of all, I call bullshit that Giovanni is 5’7″ tall.  More than likely, he’s Prince-sized and needed a stool to kiss the bride, Agyness Deyn, who’s 5’8″, but looks like she’s 6’8″ in any photos I’ve seen of her.  (I have no idea why I’m dwelling on the height issue, when I should be mentioning that Big G is a Scientologist, just as an FYI.)

via NYDailyNews:

“Actor Giovanni Ribisi quietly tied the knot with model Agyness Deyn over the weekend in one of the most surprising unions of the summer thus far.

The pair, who have managed to keep their relationship almost completely off the radar, were spotted “passionately kissing” at the Los Angeles County Registrar’s office last Friday, according to the L.A.’s Crown City News.

“They must have kissed passionately at least 3 times in line, not seeming to care who was watching,” the writer of the Crown City piece observed.

She admitted that she recognized Ribisi, but didn’t know who the “young blond-haired woman with an English accent” was.

Ribisi, 37, has had roles in “Avatar” and “Lost in Translation,” as well as a recurring role as Phoebe’s brother on “Friends.”

According to the writer, the couple confirmed “shyly” that they were indeed getting married and even agreed to pose for a photo together.”

Blink. Blink.  Uhhh, congrats, I guess. (Shrug.)
Blake from "Workaholics"
Dayna, you still have Blake from Workaholics, even though you’re married to Anders.
Dayna and Alex (Anders Statham?)